Open marriages

Off Topic (Everything besides dubstep)
Forum rules
Please read and follow this sub-forum's specific rules listed HERE, as well as our sitewide rules listed HERE.

Link to the Secret Ninja Sessions community ustream channel - info in this thread
User avatar
Jhonny2x4
Posts: 954
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:24 am

Open marriages

Post by Jhonny2x4 » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:39 pm

Please do your research before sharing your ideas/thoughts.

I recently looked into the concept of an open marriage and the multiple types of marriages that some pursue (carnal desires only, emotional needs, anarchy based, etc) and the idea is both intriguing but also intimidating and nerve wracking in a lot of ways. Considering that you need to learn to let go of your natural possessiveness of your partner, you can gain a lot of things you may be desiring that are difficult to obtain in your current marriage. At the same time, there is far more room for error seeing as you are opening yourself up for a lifestyle of more chaos than traditional law or just outright chaos. Not to mention the undetermined effect it may have on the kid.

What are your thoughts on the subject?
Image
Save Metal Gear Online 1 and 2
https://savemgo.com/forums/viewtopic.ph ... 6037#p6037

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Image
TimeSplitters Rewind
http://timesplittersrewind.com/

User avatar
hubb
Posts: 8823
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 12:24 pm
Location: ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ

Re: Open marriages

Post by hubb » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:45 pm

I think marriage is silly and open marriage is retarded

It's at best succumbing to an odd archaic tradition in society where people believe in some form of ownership or they play some sort of game on account of different forms of taxation, that doesn't have anything to do with the logic of said tradition.

Open marriage has no root in anything and is so defeatist in some ways that it must have some of the same consequences to some of the people involved, that it could be compared with being in the closet and all the cons that situation breeds.
Last edited by hubb on Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
OGLemon wrote:cowabunga dude

https://soundcloud.com/qloo/cowabunga-music-of-moby
fragments wrote:SWEEEEEEEEE!

https://soundcloud.com/qloo/cowabunga-t ... o-sweeeeee
Johnlenham wrote:evil euroland

wolf89
Posts: 10287
Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 9:18 pm

Re: Open marriages

Post by wolf89 » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:52 pm

Well honestly I think it's one of those things that varies from person to person in regards to whether it's appealing or if it can work so I can't really make a generalization. However maybe be really sure about it working before having a kid. Just to minimize anything too disruptive for both the parents and the kid

User avatar
nowaysj
Posts: 23281
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:11 am
Location: Mountain Fortress

Re: Open marriages

Post by nowaysj » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:46 pm

Find someone you prefer to everyone else. Problem solved.
Join Me
DiegoSapiens wrote:oh fucking hell now i see how on point was nowaysj
Soundcloud

User avatar
hubb
Posts: 8823
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 12:24 pm
Location: ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ

Re: Open marriages

Post by hubb » Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:24 pm

ha !

indeed.
OGLemon wrote:cowabunga dude

https://soundcloud.com/qloo/cowabunga-music-of-moby
fragments wrote:SWEEEEEEEEE!

https://soundcloud.com/qloo/cowabunga-t ... o-sweeeeee
Johnlenham wrote:evil euroland

User avatar
wysockisauce
Posts: 615
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:07 pm
Location: Chicago

Re: Open marriages

Post by wysockisauce » Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:32 pm

nowaysj wrote:Find someone you prefer to everyone else. Problem solved.
Find someone you can't stand the least. :lol:

User avatar
LACE
Posts: 2751
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2010 2:00 pm
Location: reykjavik

Re: Open marriages

Post by LACE » Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:44 am

it just depends on the couple. one of my friends is in an open marriage, they frequently threesome and everything is honky dory at the moment. but of course one has to consider the dynamics of ageing and who gets how much dck/pssy. my other friend who was in a relationship with the same guy for more then a decade tried to do the open relationship thing after they got married. it only made them realize they wanted to be with other people, they're getting divorced now.
ketamine wrote: Also, I'd just like to point out that girls "exist".

nousd
Posts: 8654
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2007 2:22 am
Location: approaching the flux pavillion

Re: Open marriages

Post by nousd » Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:40 pm

theoretically
two people who are happiest with multiple partners could successfully marry
I.e. stay together, loving each other, through thick and thin
Their relationship would need to transcend envy and the need for exclusivity
by each accepting their spouse's need for intimacy beyond what they could provide.

Ultimately either
both highly-evolved individuals, lucky to find compatible like-minds
or two self-deceiving people willing to accept each other's self-deception.
{*}

User avatar
Kochari
Posts: 2504
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:23 am
Location: quietly continuing

Re: Open marriages

Post by Kochari » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:22 pm

nousd wrote: both highly-evolved individuals, lucky to find compatible like-minds
This is it. I'd like to be able to, cus it'd make me feel like an enlightened sex alien, but alas I am but a man
My name is Dom and I like making ambientish music and drinking tea. Nice to meet you.

Soundcloud

Kid Lazarus - Kochari - Free music

rickyarbino
Posts: 4508
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:07 pm
Location: Eternity

Re: Open marriages

Post by rickyarbino » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:05 am

Only wanted to say that I don't think you should describe possession of or possessiveness towards another human being as a natural thing. I think instinct may be a better word for what you're trying to say.
magma wrote:It's a good job none of this matters.

User avatar
Jhonny2x4
Posts: 954
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:24 am

Re: Open marriages

Post by Jhonny2x4 » Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:18 pm

rickyarbino wrote:Only wanted to say that I don't think you should describe possession of or possessiveness towards another human being as a natural thing. I think instinct may be a better word for what you're trying to say.
Wouldn't that be the same thing? What's the difference between the two?
Image
Save Metal Gear Online 1 and 2
https://savemgo.com/forums/viewtopic.ph ... 6037#p6037

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Image
TimeSplitters Rewind
http://timesplittersrewind.com/

User avatar
Jhonny2x4
Posts: 954
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:24 am

Re: Open marriages

Post by Jhonny2x4 » Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:24 pm

nousd wrote:theoretically
two people who are happiest with multiple partners could successfully marry
I.e. stay together, loving each other, through thick and thin
Their relationship would need to transcend envy and the need for exclusivity
by each accepting their spouse's need for intimacy beyond what they could provide.

Ultimately either
both highly-evolved individuals, lucky to find compatible like-minds
or two self-deceiving people willing to accept each other's self-deception.
I could definitely see that. Another thing to take into account would be your free time being divided (n) times the amount of how many partners you would have.
Image
Save Metal Gear Online 1 and 2
https://savemgo.com/forums/viewtopic.ph ... 6037#p6037

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Image
TimeSplitters Rewind
http://timesplittersrewind.com/

User avatar
phrex
Posts: 7169
Joined: Sun May 31, 2009 6:02 pm
Location: bern
Contact:

Re: Open marriages

Post by phrex » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:33 pm

nowaysj wrote:Find someone you prefer to everyone else. Problem solved.
aaaaw


you're solo romantic :U: :U:
Legend4ry wrote:Well I am still living in that haze that dubstep is about a dark room with a big system, peoples with their heads down and trigger fingers in the air.
forthcoming 12", spring/summer 2015:
goldplate / war continues

rickyarbino
Posts: 4508
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:07 pm
Location: Eternity

Re: Open marriages

Post by rickyarbino » Mon Oct 06, 2014 2:20 pm

Jhonny2x4 wrote:
rickyarbino wrote:Only wanted to say that I don't think you should describe possession of or possessiveness towards another human being as a natural thing. I think instinct may be a better word for what you're trying to say.
Wouldn't that be the same thing? What's the difference between the two?
Instinct is natural in humans, however, as is the case with onions everyone is entitled to their own.
magma wrote:It's a good job none of this matters.

User avatar
Samuel_L_Damnson
Posts: 3485
Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:53 pm
Location: YORKSHIRE!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Open marriages

Post by Samuel_L_Damnson » Mon Oct 06, 2014 4:25 pm

I honestly think marriage is an outdated pointless practice but I still want to stay with the same person forever. She doesn't see it the same way I don't think tho.
Soundcloud
Collaborative project with kai li:
http://soundcloud.com/genrli

User avatar
alphacat
Posts: 6016
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2006 7:52 pm

Re: Open marriages

Post by alphacat » Mon Oct 06, 2014 7:02 pm

rickyarbino wrote: Instinct is natural in humans, however, as is the case with onions everyone is entitled to their own.
Don't nobody be fuckin' with MY onions doe. Hands off. Gonna make wedding onion rings with that shit.

rickyarbino
Posts: 4508
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:07 pm
Location: Eternity

Re: Open marriages

Post by rickyarbino » Tue Oct 07, 2014 12:42 pm

Samuel_L_Damnson wrote:I honestly think marriage is an outdated pointless practice but I still want to stay with the same person forever. She doesn't see it the same way I don't think tho.
That's because she wants a wedding.
magma wrote:It's a good job none of this matters.

User avatar
Samuel_L_Damnson
Posts: 3485
Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:53 pm
Location: YORKSHIRE!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Open marriages

Post by Samuel_L_Damnson » Tue Oct 07, 2014 7:09 pm

no duh.
Soundcloud
Collaborative project with kai li:
http://soundcloud.com/genrli

rickyarbino
Posts: 4508
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:07 pm
Location: Eternity

Re: Open marriages

Post by rickyarbino » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:58 am

Just seemed like a good enough reason to walk away. Like if that's really what matters most to her, and it doesn't sit well with you, then she can find someone else to provide her dream day imo.
magma wrote:It's a good job none of this matters.

deadly_habit
Posts: 22980
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:41 am
Location: MURRICA

Re: Open marriages

Post by deadly_habit » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:42 am

Jhonny2x4 wrote:Please do your research before sharing your ideas/thoughts.

I recently looked into the concept of an open marriage and the multiple types of marriages that some pursue (carnal desires only, emotional needs, anarchy based, etc) and the idea is both intriguing but also intimidating and nerve wracking in a lot of ways. Considering that you need to learn to let go of your natural possessiveness of your partner, you can gain a lot of things you may be desiring that are difficult to obtain in your current marriage. At the same time, there is far more room for error seeing as you are opening yourself up for a lifestyle of more chaos than traditional law or just outright chaos. Not to mention the undetermined effect it may have on the kid.

What are your thoughts on the subject?
if you're secure in your relationship and going for tax benefits cool. gay couples have been doing this for years with friends before gay marriage was allowed. marriage gives too many benefits as a taxpayer in the us to remain unmarried, i have a vow with a friend if we both aren't married we will just to reap the benefits while seeing people like normal. it's all about subverting the system.
ie: the girl i'm dating calls it just "hanging out" she doesn't date, it's the reality just 2 people getting to know each other. shit happens and defining it makes it stressful. as long as not friendzone shit is good.

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests