WORKS-IN-PROGRESS for DECEMBER, 2010

[legend4ry]

A new month, a new thread.

GIVE FEEDBACK TO AT LEAST THREE (3) PEOPLE BEFORE POSTING YOUR TRACK.

I hope to hear slay bells and santa laughs in your tunes!

[mindcontrol]

December! it's that time of year again woop woop

Here is my wip, it's a bit repetitive and hasn't really got a wobble and has weak song structure. But I'm happy with it so far... think the eq is all good, but would like some ideas on where to lead the track. Would like to achieve the bass that the digital mystikz and mala have. Also might low pass a reese bass to give it some variation. My flaws would be song structure, leads and sampling techniques.

Soundcloud

[mta7388]

@mindcontrol - I like the direction it's going and the "mood" of it. I think that perhaps the percussion might be a little too upfront in the mix, I'd maybe soften it with some reverb and pan out the hats. I feel like the synth hits kinda get pushed to the back of the mix a little bit as a result. Maybe the lush it up a little bit, you could add an ambient sound in the background [rain, etc], which might fit the feel of the track. In terms of structure, I see this as lead in to a part with more variation in terms of the chords you're using. Melodically, it doesn't change much so maybe it would be interesting to write a progression that this would lead into. And then you could possibly introduce a lead to give it more dramatic effect. Sorry if this is too much critique, but I think it's a good thing that I had a lot to say right off the top of my head, because I think it could be foundation for a great tune.

I will post two more comments once there are more tracks. [don't worry i was just knockin ppl in another thread about not leaving feedback] anyway here's my latest wip for some feedback please. I think it needs more mixing work and structure to finish the arrangement.

Soundcloud

[FluidMoShun]

@mindcontrol: Sounds real tight, this is gunna make a good backing to something. I agree with Mta about adding a progression. If you could juxtapose some kind of progression using the dub sounding chords from the start of the song and the piano in the second half, that could come out sick. Looking forward to see where you go with this.

@Mta: The bassline at 0:30 is dope, did you record it or sample it? The "daa-dunn" thing at the end of each measure of bass starting around 1:00 sounds out of key at times, tho.

and from the November WIP's..
@skydroid: Build it up, theres potential here. I'd like to hear some sub-bass kicking in with this, too.

@Badwolf: The intro to the song on soundcloud even looks like a centipede haha. The breaks around 1:09 are a nice touch and you have some good wobble rhythms going on. Could use some more variation, though.. Especially with the "WAHH" bass thats really low that plays at the start of each measure.

@Edison: On "Do it Live", The intro sounds a little choppy, the tone of that synth could use some reworking, but the chords you used sound pretty good.


Here's my work in progress, it's almost a finished track, it cuts off where bass wobbles start to build back up at the end. This is my best work yet.
Soundcloud
http://soundcloud.com/fluidmotion-1/conjurah

[Bassmagnet]

@mindcontrol I like this, nice bass to it, but I would like for the drums to have more space, but this may not be what you were going for. I can barely feel the kick. Good thought brotha.

@Mta Feels a bit overwhelming, with not enough texture to the sounds. And that thing Fluid was taking about, being out of tune, doesn't feel right.. The song feels dark but those notes don't and it threw me off. Good work though overall, I could listen to this while walking through town.

Soundcloud

[mta7388]

@Mta: The bassline at 0:30 is dope, did you record it or sample it?

Wrote the bassline using a patch form TAL Elek7ro
Thanks for the comments so far. Useful and will definitely take into consideration.

@Bassmagnet - Enjoyed this one. Really catchy and a nive groove. I thought the intro started to lag a bit before building up but thats nit-picking. And the only other thing i thought was the drums could song stronger, velocity variation, layering your hits.

@Fluidmoshun - Impressed by how much the style changes throughout the song. I thought each time the song changed into anotehr part there could have been better transitions, it was almost too all over the place. Thought the drums in the part beginning at 2:34 were a little loud in the mix for my ears. Overall it sounds pretty original to me.

[soosh21]

@mta- really like the intro...the vocal stabs that come in are cool. liking the skewed rnb vibe. I think this tune needs better percussion and drums. intricate and sparse like in a mount kimbie way it would add to the track lots....nice one. Just resalised i checked out your loneboy tune...

@bassmagnetic, the intro goes on a bit, think you could bring it in a bit quicker...main thrust of the tune disappears too quick as well. I think you need to rework the structure a bit, otherwise its on its way dude.

@fluidmoshun- theres bits i really like....you've got lots of nice wee changes. fav part is nearr end of the tune when a new synth comes in...really dope. im not really into the wobbles if im honest. I reckon strip this down a little, less wobbage!
@mindcontrol- yeah man, good base to start a track, you can def add to this. I feel the sub is too present on my monitors...but i think thats what your going for. Needs more synths, contrast....breakdowns, structure! ITs a start like you say, finish it!

Heres an old tune(almost 2 years) i never really finished......ah well.

Soundcloud

[bigfootspartan]

@Mindcontrol: I like this a lot. Definitely has a ton of potential. The bass is soo deep. I would agree with some of the other comments, particularly regarding the synth line. If you want that to be the hook for your tune then I'd definitely bump up the level. Also, a bit of background noise (ie. rain or crickets) with just a spot of bitcrusher can give it a really chilled atmosphere.

@Mta: I really enjoy this. Your intro/break is really sweet. I love that background synth (sort of like a hollow flute sounding synth), it gives it a chill but sort of dark atmosphere. As far as the "out of tune" synth line I actually like it a lot. It doesn't feel out of place for this kind of tune at all. Not to me anyways haha. Killer use of atmosphere in the second part too. To be honest I can't find anything I'd recommend improving.

@FluidMoShun: This is wicked! There's a few parts where the drums all of a sudden feel too quiet (ie from 1:00 to 2:30, but after that it's at a good level again). I love how it isn't like a lot of recent dubstep, which relies really heavily on a singular bassline looped for 5 minutes. I'd just proceed with a bit of caution, as there's so much variation it feels a bit disconnected, but you could easily get that all set by adding a synth hook or something throughout each part (or even just a common synth) to tie it all together. Killer organ work

@Bassmagnet: This has a ton of potential. I'd say the intro length is fine, it just seems long since the rest of the track isn't quite finished yet. There's a bunch of tension and I want it to drop, which is wicked. Also, when your bass kicks in it sounds pretty wicked. The drums behind it are really tight. I've been looking for that type of drum for a while, is it a loop you've cut up or do you program drums? The computer like texture you have is pretty killer too!

@Soosh: I think you nailed it. This has such a chill vibe, but it doesn't get old, which is weird because quite a bit of it feels the same, but you keep changing it up in subtle ways, which keeps it interesting. The way you've chopped up/editted those vocals is pretty wicked. Also those drums are brilliant, I swear I heard someone clicking spoons together for one of those hits. I really can't think of anything to change to make this better.

Here's mine. Unfortunately I can't put it on Soundcloud yet, since it's for a remix contest, so I understand if you don't wanna take a look. I've tried experimenting with a 125 bpm. My goal for this was to experiment more with atmosphere and to see if I could uniquely use samples of acoustic instruments!

Apparently I don't understand embedding stuff, so here's the link haha.

http://www.tracksandfields.com/songs.php?song_id=5196

[dubmatters]

@mta7388
like the intro and synths but feel the drums could have more punch

@FluidMoShun
Like the garage vibe, it just seems you had loads of ideas with the synths, maybe simplify it a little?

@soosh21
Nice, found the synth a bit overpowering

Here's my latest wip
Soundcloud

cheers

[Akkep]

@Bassmagnet, Very nice track, like how it's building up and sounding
techy. Don't really have anything bad to say about it.

@Soosh , Very chill! Chilled athmosphere, sad but very happy at the same
time, you really got emotions in this track.

@Dubmatters, Me likes! Punchy drums, dark athmosphere and that bass
just makes it for me

Here's my latest track I've been working on:
Soundcloud

Now bear in mind that I'm just a beginner in producing so don't be too harsh!

[bugsky]

mindcontrol: I like the tune. The bass is a bit too 'rumbly' for the vibe personally. The melodic parts could be brought up in the mix more, as the drums are too prevalient at the moment. Some shakers would be a nice addition.

mta: Really like the intro, sets a great mood - maybe add some stereo imaging though to give it more atmosphere. The drum sounds don't seem to fit well with the mood created by the synths. I really like the reverb'd noise that enters at around 1:50 - more of that stuff mate. If you get the percussion fixed, this would be a great track.

fluidmotion: Good variation, although a bit too scatty for my tastes.

dubmatters: I really like the groove and synths used. The percussion feels really weak though. Needs way more low end punch. Infact the tune needs something in the low end - sounds like its being played through a cheap phone speaker or something at the moment.

akkep: Liking the percussion and atmospheres. Hand drums might be a bit too high in mix though. Drop is nice, but was quite unsatisfying considering the intro. The snare feels weak. I like the synth addition at 1:40. Things defintily pick up. I think you should make the hand drums go back to the timing of the intro at 2:00. Good start.

Here's something I've started work on:

Soundcloud

Safe

[FluidMoShun]

@soosh: The cut-up part seems to be to focal point of the song, so try adding some variation to it and make it into some kind of progression. It sounds pretty sick right now, especially with the shaker drum groove. The chord it seems to be repeating is a 'B'. Try bringing it down to a "G" or "E" after a little while. Vocals are cool sounding, too. Good work.

@dubmatters: Tight drumwork and background effects. You might want to change up the drums a little more so it doesn't get repetitive

@Akkep: Nice one, especially for a beginner. I was anticipating a big bass drop around :54, make that happen and this song will be banging.

@Bugsky: Well mixed, it all sounds good together. The snare has a thin sound, which isn't necessarily a bad thing as it goes with the track.

Thanks for all the comments guize. I'm trying to figure out specifically what parts of my song need reworking and which transitions are kind of weak, so please lemme know so I can try and tweak them. I know what you mean soosh, especially at 3:18, I may have gone overboard on the wobbles. I'm thinking of toning those down and incorporating some of the synth from the last part into that wobble part, so the transition is smoother.

[pyroclasm]

Me and my friend are colabing on this one ... still have a lot of work to do
Soundcloud

[carmen_]

@fluidMoShun
that is so dope. got a whole soundscape going on. though the hi hats and snare at times could do with being brought down a bit, or maybe even being changed, at 1:20, the wobble is probably a bit loud and the wobble remains a consistent sound throughout the track (apart from the end), maybe a bit of variation would help throughout the track?

@soosh
i love the choppyness and changing of the sounds, and the general vibe of the song
I think the snare sample needs to be changed though after 1:33, although it's a sick snare i feel it doesn't go with the rest of the song

@bassmagnet
ha its really creepy in a cool way until it drops
the percussion is maybe a bit overpowering,
like the tech sounds behind it

now for my wip, i was ill off school today so just did this, ive been wanting to use this sample in a song for ages
cheeeeers

Soundcloud

[skydroid]

FluidMoShun
Nice and lots of nice changes but theres a tiny few wobs in the intro out of time and change up the bass a little a its very over powering near the end

soosh21
Love this track and the glitchy feel the piano has to it the ultimate chill tune man

dubmatters
love the jungle feel to the track pure punch of the kick is amazing in itself although it does sound like the subs clicking because of the one of the drumspanned in the right ear

pyroclasm
Number one post your feedback
number 2 Sort out the levels in the track and add percussion to make more flow not just "DUM WA WA WAWAWAWA TSCHHH! DUM WA WA WAWAWAWA TSCHHH!" I really shouldn't be able to type how dubstep sounds
Good luck

Heres an improved version of the 7 second click from last months one
DUM WA WA WAWAWAWA TSCHHH
No only kidding:
Soundcloud

[samkablaam]

@skydroid - bare like the high synth. feel the wobbles a bit too manic for how chilled out it sounds at the begining. either that, or add a riser drumroll thing so we can feel the switch coming. also, love the sub entry. feel you should keep it along those chilledlines. but thats personal taste i guess. boomy kick sounds sick whatever you\ve done to it.

@carmen - the dirty synth in the intro is a bit grating. like maybe work your way up to the dirt up to the drop. but i was actually pleasantly suprised considering i dont like all that wobble stuff. your synth works good. love the changing sounds. just feel it lacks something. subs a little low, and your drums need squashing. but for a days work its pretty impressive. maybe make more of the vocal after the drop. like little breaks with cut up vox. dunno. :S

@bugsky - sick. think the watery synth, whatever it is, is a bit high in the mix considering its not really pitched. erm, drums sound cool. so does the bass actually. feel the track doesnt do much, thats the only thing. just dynamically, not much variation. but everything else is sick.

heres mine. posted it a while ago, but got lost with what to do. added some more to stop it being so empty, but feel i might have crowded it now. :S

Soundcloud

[Krucial]

Well i'm working on a new tune and i would like to have some feedback from you guys
Maybe you could give some tips or something

http://soundcloud.com/neil_brookes_1/fo ... -preview-2

Cheers

@Akkep : realy like the vibes u've got in this tune
@Sooshe : wow realy like the atmosphere its so peaceful
@Pyroclasm : yeah it certainly got some potential
@Skydroid : really like your wobbles

[mta7388]

first page and the rule is broken

[Skaven]

A good start to the month, some proper nice tune on here, anyway here it goes,

@ Krucial - Should leave some feedback on others people's tunes before you ask for any dude, but I had a listen anyway, so here goes. I like the sample that you've used just think when it drops it doesn't have the impact it should, the bass sounds really far away, maybe take off some reverb, and try push it forward in the mix a bit.

@samkablaam - Not really my kind of thing, can see it working really well in a film or something or a game, like silent hill when your trekking around. Got some real nice sounds in there too man, nice work!

@skydroid - Liking the intro man, pretty much agree with what samkablaam said, got lots of potential.

@carmen_ - Made this in a day? Fairplay, something Ive never been able to do, ha. Feeling some of you synth sounds and liking all of the changes going on, think some of the sounds need tightening/ crisping up a bit, but feeling it.

@pyroclasm - Again, Leave some feedback for others! and pretty much what Skydroid said.

@ bugsky - Production sounds sweet man, everything seems to gel together really well, maybe a little more variation, but other than that its dope!

@Akkep - Drop is different to what I was expecting, but I'm feeling it man. Like the bit from around 1.40, maybe lower the percussion just a little, snare sounds a bit muddy to, try getting it to snap a bit more, decent for a beginner tho dude, Big Ups!

@dubmatters - Really like the rhythm of the drums, sounds like there's not much low end tho, gets a little repetitive to, maybe try swithing up the drums a bit in parts to keep it interesting.

@bigfootspartan - Sounds cool man, your snare seems quite far back in the mix in parts tho, would try to bring it forward a little bit where it gets pushed back, have a mess around with the eq see if can avoid it getting pushed back. Feeling the chilled vibe of it, bass has a nice timbre to it at the drop too, nice remix.

@soosh21 - Kinda feeling this, tho it got a little repetitive for me in parts, liking some of your percussion sounds. Proper got me chilled out while listening tho, snare drum is tight, lovely tune!

@Bassmagnet - Feeling this man, think the intro is fine, didn't think it was too long, drop is cool too, the rhythm of your drums is top, proper feeling it, defo got lots of potential, keep it up!

@FluidMoShun - Think the levels need a bit of work as the drums seemed to go very low at some points, liking the variation of it, think you need something that helps to keep it all together like a hook, or just something to help link it all together, very original sound, good work.

@mta7388 - Really feeling this tune, think it needs a bit more percussion, just to add to it a little, think it will sound dope, atmosphere sounds sweet! Lovely tune!

@mindcontrol - Can see this turning into a tune! got lots of potential, pretty much agree with what mta7388 said, think he pretty much everything I was going to say, defo be into hearing what you do with it

Sorry if I missed anyone, if you leave me feedback I'll have a listen to your track and get back to you, think I pretty much got to everyone tho,

Here's my latest tune, not quite finished yet and haven't named it yet, as hoping to get an MC on it, but thought I'd post it up and get some opions on it, cheeers!

Soundcloud

[skydroid]

samkablam
Absolutely how dark and nasty the vibes of this song are but still sounds jungly

Krucial
Was diggin it completely up until the drop then it just goes

He likes my wobbles
Skaven
Very good song like it a lot even though theres a lot going on theres not too much so that it sounds packed

mta7388
Sure it wouldn't be DSF if the rules weren't broken on the first page

anyway made a few change to this song

Soundcloud