Lemme' tell you about my swamp monster...
My swamp monster is a giant fucking penis with a giant fucking penis on it's head. It's holding a giant fucking megaphone to it's giant fucking lips. The only words that it's able to repetitively and constantly shout through this giant fucking megaphone are the words from your secret, personal love letter you wrote to your loving, caring, wife in the pouring down rain on that cold December day.
Over her
GRAVE.
Thats' right; She's fucking DEAD. This giant fucking penis swamp monster is only capable of screaming out through the megaphone the extremely personal words you wrote in your extremely personal love-letter you tearfully left on your wife's grave that cold, wet CHRISTMAS day. And this giant fucking penis is, believe me, a fucking
giant. He's about the size of Saturn and Jupiter put together. His megaphone is fucking Earth itself, and since he doesn't actually breath at all because he's made entirely of stone and is in fact a fucking
golem, he doesn't need to pause between sentences. Oh, and he's a fucking loonatic and replaces the word "Love" with "Fuck you!" and replaces the word "Wife" with "tnuc". This means you're extremely personal FUCK YOU! letter you wrote to your dead tnuc on Christmas day are practically preached by this giant fucking penis golem with a giant fucking penis on it's head to the furthest unknowns of the cosmos with it's giant fucking megahpone called our PLANET,
literally word-for-word;
Forever.