Fuck My Life :(

[ST100]

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!"

lolz

HAHAH

[k_k]

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

This site is fukcing immense

[kay]

LOL site

[en ami]

This site is great.
Doing the office rounds all day.
Favourite so far - Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

literally lol'd

[zgomot]

No more boring hours at work. Awesome.

[zgomot]

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

[steppo]

Today, I was on vacation with my immediate family as well as aunts and uncles and cousins. They decided they wanted a family picture. Automatically, everyone handed their cameras to me. FML

bahaha

[Y_H]

haha this is genious.
something to read when your bored.
some of these are proper funny.

haha how ungratefull
I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

i'd be happy with a c for maths.

OMG
Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

[8bit]

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

oh snap!

[alien pimp]

THANK YOU!

[zgomot]

Today, a child sitting next to me on the bus pointed at me and asked: "Mommy, when it's not a man and it's not a woman, what is it then?" FML

[rynke]

"Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML"

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML


HAhahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[blizzardmusic]

IFAILATLIFE.COM

[samantha g]

Today, I went to the Doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

Today, I was looking down at my paper in class and my spanish teacher asked if I was sleeping or not. I'm Asian. My eyes were open. FML

[-dubson-]

quality site

[ST100]

Today, I was looking down at my paper in class and my spanish teacher asked if I was sleeping or not. I'm Asian. My eyes were open. FML

[blizzardmusic]

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

[schamotnik]

Today, I was looking down at my paper in class and my spanish teacher asked if I was sleeping or not. I'm Asian. My eyes were open. FML

[cyberneticghost]

I have known about this site for a while and it is always good for a laugh, but today I found the first truly unfunny entry:

Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML

Here are a couple that aren't so depressing:

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML

[en ami]

Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML

if that one's true, which i doubt it is, that's hilarious...