Stenchman Free Track+Interview(Funniest shit i've ever read)

[sinx]

http://www.thefatclub.com/exclusive-ste ... inkerview/

How did you come up with the character of Stenchman and do you ever regret it when you’re DJing in a hot club with latex covering your face?

Because it makes the fact that I smell like a leper fisherman’s nutsack when I come off the decks almost allowable, in fact it’s mostly expected, and because of my habit of leaving ‘little presents’ in peoples pillowcases, shoes, cutlery drawers etc. The mask is more for the crowds sake than mine, when I hear frequencies below 40hz at loud volume my tounge shoots out small barbed spears which can penetrate a Wildebeests hide from 23 paces and render it unable to talk openly about its emotions or operate machinery, light or heavy.

I don’t really mind the heat. It reminds me of the time I spent in my spiritual home of Sheol - the most beautiful place like, ever! Also it covers up the fact that when I adjust the left and right faders on a mixer my corresponding eye rolls back like Asda’s prices and I can see the little man with the Fez and the nipple ring who operates the levers in the front of my head. I don’t like him.

Is Bovinyl Moosic just going to be your own stuff or do you have any rubber-faced acolyte signings? What else have you got coming up?

Well mostly my own shitpissings as I have a quim-rattling amount of unreleased bits lurking in a cupboard in my basement waiting for me to open the pantry door and let them suckle on sweet daylight. Although I have signed a Djiboutian skiffle band called Suffolk Hate Hearse Low who have done a MARVELLOUS album recently consisting of recordings of waffles being thrown at caravans tuned to different pitches in varying consistencies of snow ambiance. Also I may start up a new label for people who make tunes that make you want to rhythmically grind against a leprechaun’s knee in a tree sauna.

Stenchman records often sound like the voice of Satan when you play them normally. What happens when you play them backwards?

You hear the sounds of angels slowly weeping for the tragedies humanity causes on a daily basis. How they tear the feathers from their wings and throw themselves earthbound whooshing loudly as they hurtle hoping with every last ounce of might that the impact of their fall will knock the greed and corruption and murderous intent out of mankind’s eyes. How they splash into the water creating waves bound for shore, broken bodies plunging deep before bobbing up. If only the dolphins attempt to push them up on to the rocks would work, if only we could see to help instead of going, “look a mermaid”, and having a wank.

Do you think there’s enough humour in dubstep? It’s sometimes characterised as quite blokey and serious but it doesn’t seem like everything you do has a real sense of humour to balance the darkness.

There’s too much if you ask me. All these young people should be at home in bed by the time that I start playing my recordings at them. I try and play them as loud as I can to scare them off but they just keep standing there wiggling about and the suchlike and pulling such funny faces! They must be really full of beans these whipper-snappers. My sense of humour was actually stolen by a gypsy lady who had learnt the amazingly coincidental combination of the arts of breast hypnosis and nipple boxing. Needless to say I awoke with a sharp aching in my soul, a large and very hard to explain bruise and a distrust of anything that jangles when it gyrates its hips (much to the displeasure of my cat).

Tell us something interesting about Badgers?

When nobody is looking they can carve amazingly accurate wooden caricatures of B-list celebrities and are in fact relied upon by most of the gossip magazine to decide whom to slander in their following issue, as they will bury them in sand or dissolve them with their peppery urine respectively should they have a sudden drop/rise in status. Also, when drunk on bin juice they bugger about in fields and cause around 76% of crop circles. Never trust a horse disguised as a badger, it will rape you. If not by seducing you with its sweet singing, then by slipping a cube of regretamine disguised as sugar in your afternoon tea. Remember kids… hooves stirring spoon - run out the room.

[grime suspect]

this is all true and he is genuinely this weird im afraid

http://www.dubstepforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=97097

[WatchYourStep]

So random. Does stenchman have a thing for badgers?

[deadaelus]

yea i have seen a few of his posts on the forum here, guy has a pretty twisted sense of humour, its quite enjoyable.

[Hide_One]

seen. hahaha funny shit. big up Bo-Vinyl Moo-Sick

[neveready]

this is all true and he is genuinely this weird im afraid

http://www.dubstepforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=97097

scary to hear this! funny interview, biguples to stenchie +suspect!

[Lurka]

hooves stirring spoon - run out the room.

hahahahah