Danger Wanks

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:36 pm

All these threads of your most embarrassing moment / black outs etc. got me thinking about the good old danger wank. I still like a good danger wank and my confidence has grown over the years as I have managed to wank in more audacious situations, they're better than danger fucks because getting caught doing a danger fuck is a guilt and shame shared so the burden is less. So danger wanks are where it's at. A couple of danger wanks that will forever stick in my head are:

~ Going camping with a group of mates and sharing a tent with this lass I fancied. I knew she was still awake and wearing nothing in her sleeping bag but a pair of knickers and a tshirt, I could smell her musky scent as I lay next to her and that was it... being only about 17 I couldn't keep it at bay and had a hard on that a monkey could swing on. I initiated some bollocks conversation with her and whilst she lay facing me I pulled away at my cock until it erupted mid conversation, being quite dark in the tent she didn't see my vinegar stroke.

~ Before I went out with my ex I used to spend a lot of time with her, literally everyday and she'd tease me the way girls do - you know the thing, lead you on sexually. She'd stick her hand down her knickers and show me her fingers which would shine with her wetness then push me away and close the door. This caused me no end of frustration so one day when she was sat on my computer, I came out of the shower, stood behind her and pretended to be looking at she was looking at and knocked a fast one out before she became suspect or worse saw what I was doing.

~ Not so much of a story with this one but I remember going to sit in a field with me mates, light a fire, sink some beers and have a smoke. I was one of the first ones to turn up and was really horny as fuck for some reason and when I was "collecting firewood" I knocked one out behind a tree that my mates would have to pass on their way into the field, I would have probably have heard them before I saw them but fuck it.

I really don't have much shame but I am going to end it there.

shambandito · Post by **shambandito** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:39 pm

SNH is becoming more and more like /b/

fretn · Post by **fretn** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:43 pm

this place is reaaallly going to hell

my additions:
masturbated in afterschool study time: there were these huge wooden benches and the teacher who was supervising was the hottest teacher i've ever had, noone realised anything

.

masturbated in an airplane going to aruba from amsterdam, mid flight. I've always wanted to try it out...

those are the most special ones i guess

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:44 pm

I wanked into a pair of knickers too but that doesn't really count as I locked the bathroom door.

hurlingdervish · Post by **hurlingdervish** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:44 pm

Danger Wanks sounds like a punk band with a cockney accent

fretn · Post by **fretn** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:54 pm

Firky wrote:I wanked into a pair of knickers too but that doesn't really count as I locked the bathroom door.

your sister's?

frebentos · Post by **frebentos** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:02 pm

fretn wrote:
Firky wrote:I wanked into a pair of knickers too but that doesn't really count as I locked the bathroom door.
your sister's?

totally...caugh that quick edit too.

i thought it said his sisters boyfriends knickers??

the acid never lies · Post by **the acid never lies** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:03 pm

At scool when I was 14 this guy in my class got caught bashing it in a geography lesson. All the teacher said was "hands on the table, shiv!"

I've been known to knock one out at work... ok nobody knows that so don't tell anyone

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:04 pm

frebentos wrote:
fretn wrote:
Firky wrote:I wanked into a pair of knickers too but that doesn't really count as I locked the bathroom door.
your sister's?
totally...caugh that quick edit too.

i thought it said his sisters boyfriends knickers??

close but no cigar

::g-sus:: · Post by **::g-sus::** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:08 pm

The Acid Never Lies wrote:I've been known to knock one out at work

I mean really, who doesn't?

karmacazee · Post by **karmacazee** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:26 pm

^^^^

the acid never lies · Post by **the acid never lies** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:42 pm

::G-SUS:: wrote:
The Acid Never Lies wrote:I've been known to knock one out at work
I mean really, who doesn't?

I... don't know what to think anymore

edit: time for a poll? how many have jerked it in the office?

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:44 pm

keep thinking what you were but film it for me so i can have a danger wank whilst you have a danger wank, dawg.

the acid never lies · Post by **the acid never lies** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:45 pm

Firky wrote:keep thinking what you were but film it for me so i can have a danger wank whilst you have a danger wank, dawg.

time for a half-baked xzibit joke I think

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:46 pm

There goes my hardon

the acid never lies · Post by **the acid never lies** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:49 pm

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:51 pm

the acid never lies · Post by **the acid never lies** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:01 am

hahaha beautifully illustrated

firky · Post by **firky** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:09 am

djelements · Post by **djelements** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:36 am

Firky wrote:

Danger Wanks

Danger Wanks

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