The Sex Tips mega thread

[Gully Shanks]

If your rubber falls off mid-romp leave it in there and push it as far up her as possible with your manhood, either hole...she loves trying to fish anything out of her holes after sex...

This actually made me lol hard

[Blue Patterns]

Illustrate logically how diarrhea shouldn't prevent anal sex

[Shae]

When you cum do it in her hair.


They secretly all LOVE it.

Alternatively do the houdini......

When going from behind as you're about to blow, makes noises as if you are blowing and spit on her back, then she'll turn round and give you that look of satisfaction, then BAM. Let off the real deal in her face.

Amusing, but you could end up dead.

you fuckin legend, im gonna try this next time....

[upstateface]

The Land Shark: Find a girl passed out drunk. You'll need a cardboard cut out of a shark fin. Strip the girl naked. Insert the cardboard cutout in between her butt cheeks. Get 4 guys to pick her up over their shoulders and run through the party yelling "LANDSHARK!" After this, all five of you should brutally rape her.

[Project_B]

When you cum do it in her hair.


They secretly all LOVE it.

Alternatively do the houdini......

When going from behind as you're about to blow, makes noises as if you are blowing and spit on her back, then she'll turn round and give you that look of satisfaction, then BAM. Let off the real deal in her face.

Amusing, but you could end up dead.

you fuckin legend, im gonna try this next time....

We call this "the pirate" because you spaff in her eye when she turns around, and then she goes "arrrrr!" because of the jizz in her eye.


The Houdini is where you find a chick to fuck at a house party, take her upstairs and fuck her out of a window. Midway through banging you "slip out" and have a mate ready to stick his rod in instead. Once swapped over you run downstairs and wave at her from below the window. Girls love this one man.

[DRTY]

When you cum do it in her hair.


They secretly all LOVE it.

Alternatively do the houdini......

When going from behind as you're about to blow, makes noises as if you are blowing and spit on her back, then she'll turn round and give you that look of satisfaction, then BAM. Let off the real deal in her face.

Amusing, but you could end up dead.

you fuckin legend, im gonna try this next time....

We call this "the pirate" because you spaff in her eye when she turns around, and then she goes "arrrrr!" because of the jizz in her eye.


The Houdini is where you find a chick to fuck at a house party, take her upstairs and fuck her out of a window. Midway through banging you "slip out" and have a mate ready to stick his rod in instead. Once swapped over you run downstairs and wave at her from below the window. Girls love this one man.

LMAO. That's next level shit.

You heard of the superman?

Ideally you need a red bed sheet, one thats not fitted or tucked in at the sides. Begin by performing the houdini except, dont spit on her and dont cum. So basically just pork her.

Pretend to cum, then once she's dozed off (make her cum and she won't take long), make sure she's lying on her front then smother her back in man yogurt. Flip her back over, press down a little....... leave.

8 Hours later. She has an actual fucking cape. Stuck on REAL good.

[firky]

The Land Shark: Find a girl passed out drunk. You'll need a cardboard cut out of a shark fin. Strip the girl naked. Insert the cardboard cutout in between her butt cheeks. Get 4 guys to pick her up over their shoulders and run through the party yelling "LANDSHARK!" After this, all five of you should brutally rape her.

One day "cyder-anthropologists" are going to study internet forums to study our time, as we study books from yesteryear, they're going to read this post and highlight it.

[gnome]

I was thinking where Pikey was at...How typical of him to come back with such muck

[jazzamataz]

When you cum do it in her hair.


They secretly all LOVE it.

Alternatively do the houdini......

When going from behind as you're about to blow, makes noises as if you are blowing and spit on her back, then she'll turn round and give you that look of satisfaction, then BAM. Let off the real deal in her face.

Amusing, but you could end up dead.

you fuckin legend, im gonna try this next time....

We call this "the pirate" because you spaff in her eye when she turns around, and then she goes "arrrrr!" because of the jizz in her eye.


The Houdini is where you find a chick to fuck at a house party, take her upstairs and fuck her out of a window. Midway through banging you "slip out" and have a mate ready to stick his rod in instead. Once swapped over you run downstairs and wave at her from below the window. Girls love this one man.

LMAO. That's next level shit.

You heard of the superman?

Ideally you need a red bed sheet, one thats not fitted or tucked in at the sides. Begin by performing the houdini except, dont spit on her and dont cum. So basically just pork her.

Pretend to cum, then once she's dozed off (make her cum and she won't take long), make sure she's lying on her front then smother her back in man yogurt. Flip her back over, press down a little....... leave.

8 Hours later. She has an actual fucking cape. Stuck on REAL good.

actually, to do the pirate you have to kick her in the shin too... so she's hopping around on one leg.



The spiderman... fuck, cum in your hand, launch it in her face.

[kidshuffle]

Illustrate logically how diarrhea shouldn't prevent anal sex

ahaha fuck

[Neurotik]

We call this "the pirate" because you spaff in her eye when she turns around, and then she goes "arrrrr!" because of the jizz in her eye.


The Houdini is where you find a chick to fuck at a house party, take her upstairs and fuck her out of a window. Midway through banging you "slip out" and have a mate ready to stick his rod in instead. Once swapped over you run downstairs and wave at her from below the window. Girls love this one man.

LMAO. That's next level shit.

You heard of the superman?

Ideally you need a red bed sheet, one thats not fitted or tucked in at the sides. Begin by performing the houdini except, dont spit on her and dont cum. So basically just pork her.

Pretend to cum, then once she's dozed off (make her cum and she won't take long), make sure she's lying on her front then smother her back in man yogurt. Flip her back over, press down a little....... leave.

8 Hours later. She has an actual fucking cape. Stuck on REAL good.

actually, to do the pirate you have to kick her in the shin too... so she's hopping around on one leg.



The spiderman... fuck, cum in your hand, launch it in her face.

Hahahahahahahah!!
This thread is too much.

[amick]

If you're going down on her and she farts in your face.

Beat her to death.

It's the law.

[z.u.bee]

When you cum do it in her hair.


They secretly all LOVE it.

no you do it in her eyes, then use her hair to clean your helmet, they go wild for that sorta manliness!!

[jonam82]

i believe this is called a foamy chewbacca.

step 1: shave pubes and store in bedside container or cupboard.
Step 2: get sex/ blow job
step 3: blow load on face
step 4: throw pre shavced pubes onto their face

hence looking like our favourite wookie

[z.u.bee]

i believe this is called a foamy chewbacca.

step 1: shave pubes and store in bedside container or cupboard.
Step 2: get sex/ blow job
step 3: blow load on face
step 4: throw pre shavced pubes onto their face

hence looking like our favourite wookie

huahauuhahuahuahuahuahua

i knew of something like that except you blow your load on her top lip whilst she sleeps and then proceed to stick her hair to it, so that she wakes up in the morning with protein porn-tache!!!

[Project_B]

actually, to do the pirate you have to kick her in the shin too... so she's hopping around on one leg.

We call this the angry pirate, as shes likely to want some answers after performing the move.

[particle-jim]

the strawberry cheesecake:
come on a girls face then punch her square on the nose, the resulting mess resembles a strawberry cheesecake

the walrus:
cum in her mouth, punch her in the stomach while the load is in her mouth causing the semen to come out her nose while she groans. creating two tusks and a sound like a walrus

[did]

Every time she is about to come punch her hard in the nose. Guaranteed to make her go faster.

Also, tell her she is an object.

[bandshell]

Girls love it when you do this.

[image removed]

[morro_e]

you'll get banned again for posting this up matey