HAXX Thread.

[knell]

this is the thread for hacks in real life (feel free to edit/lock this thread if it is against the rules, mods... just dont ban me please )

anyway, here are quite a few... a lot of garbage, but many gems

http://www.pastebin.ca/1903125

if it agrees with the rules, post em here!

[poor, obvious] example:

4.Don't talk to hookers with walkie talkies

[funny] example:

@ walmart, hold down all 4 corner buttons on the credit card machine to reboot it and piss of the next customer in line (behind you) who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

[skillz/street smart] example:

If you're at a rave and don't feel like paying $5-$20 for a bottle of water, which is how we make the majority of our income, tell a member of the staff (preferably an organiser [we shuffle around a lot and talk on walkie talkies]) that you were given some kind of pill and now you're feeling dehydrated. The last thing we want is a hospital run, and unless I'm really busy I'll personally bring you over to the merchant table and lift a couple of bottles for you.

[personal experience (me, knell)] example:

Next time you order french fries, ask for no salt. They will have to make a new batch for you and you can just put salt on it afterwards.
You'll avoid the soggy, grease-infested potato sticks and also the cold, stale variety, and have yourself nice crispy, hot fries.

[helix]

Oh so this is how you get the hot womens.

[noam]

^^^^^
LOL

[helix]

Helix's protips

Whatever you're doing, don't act suspicious. People won't be suspicious of someone who doesn't look suspicious.

If you come into contact with the police, be as polite as possible, and they'll tend to shuttle you through the arrest process as quickly as possible.

For my bedroom DJs, promoters are people too. Talk to them as a fan of the music rather than as a DJ, and they'll warm up to you a lot more.

If you're having issues with a company, threaten to take your business elsewhere. If it's a reasonable company, they'll try to keep your business. If not, you should probably take your business elsewhere.

Bathroom doors are fucking disgusting.

[DZA]

Dont know if it works any more but used to do it as a kid

When buying something out of a vending machine(say some sweets and the number is say d3) press d then press the return money botton and 3 at the same time and it wont charge you

[stappard]

-The only way to get rich quick is to rip off other people trying to get rich quick by offering them some bullshit, non-working way to get rich quick.

Basically sums up the entire world of forex trading

[kidshuffle]

Helix's protips

Whatever you're doing, don't act suspicious. People won't be suspicious of someone who doesn't look suspicious.

If you come into contact with the police, be as polite as possible, and they'll tend to shuttle you through the arrest process as quickly as possible.

For my bedroom DJs, promoters are people too. Talk to them as a fan of the music rather than as a DJ, and they'll warm up to you a lot more.

If you're having issues with a company, threaten to take your business elsewhere. If it's a reasonable company, they'll try to keep your business. If not, you should probably take your business elsewhere.

Bathroom doors are fucking disgusting.

You should live in Canada; we pretty much all live by these rules.

[noam]

whats Forex?! will it make me rich?!

[knell]

Oh so this is how you get the hot womens.

i will never reveal the Wu Tang secret!

[kaiori breathe]

The only things I could add to this thread are probably illegal.

[helix]

The only things I could add to this thread are probably illegal.

Speak up, pussy.

[HRKRT]

The only things I could add to this thread are probably illegal.

Speak up, pussy.

[frank grimes jr.]

Always compliment the doorman.

60 grit sandpaper works wonders on the soles of your brand new oxfords.
(Londoners should probably know this already)

Tie a small piece of colored ribbon to your nail clippers or shoe horn, and they'll never get lost again.

You can open a beer bottle with leverage and a bic lighter.

Take your wedding ring off when you're getting a sun tan.

When buying a suit, the bottom of the jacket should be level with your thumbs if your hands are by your sides.

In the summertime, close the windows and draw the shades each morning to save on air-conditioning bills.

Spent coffee grinds are spectacular fertilizer.

[knell]

nice ones! i like how your sig is kinda like one too

In the summertime, close the windows and draw the shades each morning to save on air-conditioning bills.

also, there is this reflective tape-like window film that works wonders on my kitchen/bedroom, especially when it gets up and over 42 degrees here

[knell]

a few more:

-never compliment someone unless you mean it

-gadgets are your friend. get to know them

-the best fighting stance (taught to me by a member of marine special forces) is your back straight, feet shoulderwidth apart, knees slightly bent, hands by your side.. it is nonthreatening and the slight bend gives you more spring in your first blow, which if you want the fight to end fast, should be a locked thumb into the opponents solar plexus

-the best way to improve your speed is to learn the basics of tai chi... especially learning how to do the slow movements properly. the fastest people i've ever seen have been tai chi masters

-watch the way people interact with waiters, it says a lot about their personality

-if you ever run into a local police officer in a friendly environment, learn his full name and dont forget his face

[knell]

also, can never forget the Lobster Rage Fists

[knell]

carnival game edition:
http://www.blifaloo.com/info/beat-carnival-games.php

[upstateface]

I have the images that knell got this info from.
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 1280714672
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 151861.jpg
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 191623.jpg
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 271766.jpg
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 327717.jpg
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 358041.jpg
http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx26 ... 396221.jpg

[stappard]

When buying a suit, the bottom of the jacket should be level with your thumbs if your hands are by your sides.

And never do up the bottom button of a jacket

[knell]

I have the images that knell got this info from.

?

i struggle to see your point.

looks exactly like the site text in the OP except copy/pasted into a word document.

this is a HAXX thread, not a "hey look i have a word document thats the same as that site" thread