Jokes thread

Off Topic (Everything besides dubstep)
Forum rules
Please read and follow this sub-forum's specific rules listed HERE, as well as our sitewide rules listed HERE.

Link to the Secret Ninja Sessions community ustream channel - info in this thread
User avatar
wayoftheworld
Posts: 966
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:25 pm
Location: Solitude, United States

Jokes thread

Post by wayoftheworld » Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:34 am

What was the name of the historical event at which hundreds of thousands of innocent children were brutalized by a fascist dictatorship and then left out in the sun to die?

































































































The Vans Warped Tour -r-
http://www.myspace.com/wizardsdeskfl - drone/doom
http://www.myspace.com/impaledbeyondallreason - grim frost-ensorcelling norsk vengeful satanic misanthropic black metal

helix
Posts: 5824
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:16 am

Re: Jokes thread

Post by helix » Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:43 am

I don't know why they call it terminal cancer, it's not like they're going to be flying on any planes soon... -q-
fuck off
ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage

User avatar
mercules
Posts: 353
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:23 pm
Location: Nottingham

Re: Jokes thread

Post by mercules » Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:45 am

Why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?

F'drizzle

User avatar
wayoftheworld
Posts: 966
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:25 pm
Location: Solitude, United States

Re: Jokes thread

Post by wayoftheworld » Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:59 am

Why did Britney Spears become so addicted to cocaine?

because Kevin Fedherlines
Last edited by wayoftheworld on Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
http://www.myspace.com/wizardsdeskfl - drone/doom
http://www.myspace.com/impaledbeyondallreason - grim frost-ensorcelling norsk vengeful satanic misanthropic black metal

noam
Posts: 10825
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:10 pm
Location: Manchester/Leeds

Re: Jokes thread

Post by noam » Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:23 am

what do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?



throw your washing in.

BLAHBLAHJAH
Posts: 2321
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:21 pm
Location: going nomadic

Re: Jokes thread

Post by BLAHBLAHJAH » Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:13 am

Two ona theme

What is blue
But does not fit?

A dead epileptic


What is blue
shiny
but full of shit?
Jesus dressed as robocop
:s:

User avatar
x-ecutive
Posts: 295
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:19 pm

Re: Jokes thread

Post by x-ecutive » Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:38 pm

Just found this jem.

So a man walks into a bar that at the top of a skyscraper. He gose to order a drink and a man from the corner comes over and says "befor you order a drink, have you tryed the magical bear?" The new man says "no" so the man form the corner asks the barman "can i have a pint of you magical beer?" The barman gives him the drink. The man from the corner takes 2 sips, steps out the window, flys round the building a few times and then comes back in and says "you got to try it its grate" So the new man orders a pint of magical beer, take 2 sips, steps out the window and falls to his deth.

Then that barman says to the man from the corner "superman your a dick when your drunk"
knell wrote:coke, just because pepsi really hurts when you snort it

User avatar
the acid never lies
Posts: 3803
Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:54 pm
Location: Brixton

Re: Jokes thread

Post by the acid never lies » Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:48 pm

That superman joke is ooooooooooooooold :P

Motorway to Roswell
Posts: 5929
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:40 pm
Location: In that palace in the sun

Re: Jokes thread

Post by Motorway to Roswell » Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:48 pm

An English man, an Irish man and a Pakistani man walk into a pub. The bartender says "Is this some sort of joke?"
"...we now pause to test the soul of the Steppenwolf"

User avatar
Pada
Posts: 5555
Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2006 12:48 pm
Location: Bradford

Re: Jokes thread

Post by Pada » Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:43 pm

Man walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre,


So the barman gives him one.
http://www.mixcloud.com/Etc/etc-no-6

User avatar
the acid never lies
Posts: 3803
Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:54 pm
Location: Brixton

Re: Jokes thread

Post by the acid never lies » Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:49 pm

:lol:

User avatar
clifford_-
Posts: 4990
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:20 pm
Location: KT14 UK

Re: Jokes thread

Post by clifford_- » Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:45 pm

Bloke walks into a bar and orders 2 double whiskys, necks both of em, then looks at the bartender and says "i really shouldnt have done that, with what ive got"
barman looks concerned and asks sympatheticaly "aww, why, what have you got?"
Bloke says " about 20p"
:H:
Follow me on Twitter- @clifford_i
Image
noam wrote:son
let me break this down for ya
mustard = yellow
HP = brown
Ketchup = red
if ya fuck with the program, someone's gona get hurt... feel me

TSH-Tim
Posts: 716
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:52 am
Contact:

Re: Jokes thread

Post by TSH-Tim » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:14 pm

Why did the little girl fall off her swing ?













Because she had no arms............
True Sound Hire, PA Hire, Sound System Hire & Dj Equipment Hire Across Guildford, Surrey & London
PA Hire Guildford
Public Address Hire

01483-564438
07908-732936

TSH-Tim
Posts: 716
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:52 am
Contact:

Re: Jokes thread

Post by TSH-Tim » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:16 pm

Jacko never died of a heart attack.

He was in the childrens ward having a stroke ;)
True Sound Hire, PA Hire, Sound System Hire & Dj Equipment Hire Across Guildford, Surrey & London
PA Hire Guildford
Public Address Hire

01483-564438
07908-732936

ahier
Posts: 2430
Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2008 1:31 pm

Re: Jokes thread

Post by ahier » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:19 pm

whats black and hangs from a tree in my garden?


a tyre swing

TSH-Tim
Posts: 716
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:52 am
Contact:

Re: Jokes thread

Post by TSH-Tim » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:34 pm

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?








A: Two 5 year olds.
True Sound Hire, PA Hire, Sound System Hire & Dj Equipment Hire Across Guildford, Surrey & London
PA Hire Guildford
Public Address Hire

01483-564438
07908-732936

User avatar
isiahfire
Posts: 1072
Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 10:49 pm
Location: Manchester

Re: Jokes thread

Post by isiahfire » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:53 pm

I rung my builder and said "I want a skip outside my house"

He said "Im not stopping you"

User avatar
Reamz
Posts: 578
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 2:04 pm

Re: Jokes thread

Post by Reamz » Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:22 pm

The only time anybody would ever care about the 'my current location' part of facebook, is if Madeline McCann started using it
And how will you inquire into a thing when you are wholly ignorant of what it is? Even if you happen to bump right into it, how will you know it is the thing you didn't know?

User avatar
AntlionUK
Posts: 3823
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:57 am
Location: Gone looting

Re: Jokes thread

Post by AntlionUK » Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:26 pm

A man walks into a bar, every night of the week, gets drunk, drives home and beats his kids.
'Live Loops, Sleep Snares, Breathe Beats'

http://soundcloud.com/antlionuk
http://www.mixcloud.com/AntlionUK/
Nevalo wrote:All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...
DRTY wrote:Nan is up there with my cats. Harm them; pay with your life.
wub wrote:Shenanigans
ch3 wrote:shenanigans

User avatar
AntlionUK
Posts: 3823
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:57 am
Location: Gone looting

Re: Jokes thread

Post by AntlionUK » Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:27 pm

Reamz wrote:The only time anybody would ever care about the 'my current location' part of facebook, is if Madeline McCann started using it
hahaha quality.
'Live Loops, Sleep Snares, Breathe Beats'

http://soundcloud.com/antlionuk
http://www.mixcloud.com/AntlionUK/
Nevalo wrote:All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...
DRTY wrote:Nan is up there with my cats. Harm them; pay with your life.
wub wrote:Shenanigans
ch3 wrote:shenanigans

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests