Jokes thread

Kamex · Post by **Kamex** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:43 pm

Why Cant Madeline McCann play PlayStation..

Because i have xbox.

TSH-Tim · Post by **TSH-Tim** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:57 pm

Kamex wrote:Why Cant Madeline McCann play PlayStation..

Because i have xbox.

PMSL PSML PSML !!!!!!!!

TSH-Tim · Post by **TSH-Tim** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:57 pm

How sick are we allowed to go

AntlionUK · Post by **AntlionUK** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 10:24 pm

My rule on comedy is either everything can be taken the piss out of or nothing can.

dubloke · Post by **dubloke** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 10:38 pm

I thought I made this joke up but was then told that it already existed

Why did the peanut have a black eye?

because he was a-salted.....

Atac · Post by **Atac** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 4:31 am

AntlionUK wrote:A man walks into a bar, every night of the week, gets drunk, drives home and beats his kids.

Motorway to Roswell · Post by **Motorway to Roswell** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:17 am

What do you do after raping a blind, deaf and dumb girl?

Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Motorway to Roswell · Post by **Motorway to Roswell** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:18 am

How do you know if a girl is too fat to take out in public?

When fucking her means rolling her in flour and boning the wet spot.

upstateface · Post by **upstateface** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:33 am

^ Winner

shaunlee0 · Post by **shaunlee0** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:56 pm

Whats green slimey and smells like Mrs.Piggy

Kermits fingers

shaunlee0 · Post by **shaunlee0** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:57 pm

how many babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends how hard your throw them!

Motorway to Roswell · Post by **Motorway to Roswell** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:03 pm

“Little Johnny is a most shy and insecure boy and is taken to the Circus. Made to sit right in the front by his Auntie, and on come the Clowns. Immediately one runs to him and, thrusting a microphone under his nose says “Are you the front end of an Ass?” “No” says Johnny. “Are you the back end of an Ass” “No” he replies. “Then I declare that you are no-end of an Ass” says the Clown triumphantly. Little Johnny runs straight home in tears. His Mum says you must confront your fears to exorcise them from you forever and sends the poor boy back to the Circus the next day, only this time with Uncle Jim who is a master of the quick quip and witty repartie... “Watch your Uncle and learn” says Mum.

Next day and poor Johnny is back in the front row, but this time with Uncle Jim master of the quick quip and witty repartie. Enter the Clowns, who this time make for Uncle Jim (master of the quick quip and witty repartie). “Are you the front end of an Ass” they ask Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. “No” “Are you the back end of an Ass” “No” says Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. “Then I declare that you are no end of an Ass”... But before the audience could react, Uncle Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie, quick as a flash said “...Fuck off you red nosed, big shoed tnuc”.

esfandyar · Post by **esfandyar** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:23 am

How many brosteppers does it take to clean a bathtub?

100. 1 to clean the bathtub, and the other 99 to comment on how "filthy" the tub is.

ruckus49 · Post by **ruckus49** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:26 am

belalala · Post by **belalala** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:29 am

really vulgar, sorry.....

what do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

.......a quarter pounder with cheese

Shum · Post by **Shum** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:30 am

^ gold.

esfandyar · Post by **esfandyar** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:50 am

belalala wrote:really vulgar, sorry.....

what do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

.......a quarter pounder with cheese

Registering that one.

kier3wiet · Post by **kier3wiet** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:07 am

Why did the tiger get lost in the jungle?

'cuz jungle is massive

borrowed · Post by **borrowed** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:15 am

esfandyar · Post by **esfandyar** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:22 am

How do you get a midwesterner to suck yo dick?

Pour ranch all over it.

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