On Sexuality

[Capture pt]

I'd like to throw out something that might be from a slightly different viewpoint. It bears on the subject of "Ooo boobies!" and "Look at the tits on that!". Frankly speaking, I generally don't talk about women in that way. In fact, I'm downright uncomfortable doing so, and being in the presence of people who do that non-stop. My interest is more on personality and the whole package, rather than specific body parts.

However, this generally leads me to being labelled as "uninterested". One of my oldest friends once described me as asexual. For the record, I'm neither.

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

This is the most interesting thing in this thread.

I also know a few people who dont talk about women, and some a bit more extreme to the point of down right not even noticing if a attractive women walks by.

I think its more down to sex drive, in some cases.

But thats a very interesting point you've raised there, how even women expect men to be "OI GET THAT GASH OUT INIT".

[cosmic_surgeon]

this is all so unimportant, if were all hit with a reset surely peoples need to survive and have the basics would relegate this to unimportance

Sure, just like if I inherited a million pounds I wouldn't need to be worrying about how much the leccy's gonna cost when the bill arrives any day now. But it's pretty unlikely that that's going to happen, so it'd be silly of me not to try and sort out my cash situation - right?

doesn't really work as a reset wouldn't solve equality

That doesn't make any sense mate. You trollin' bro?

if you inherited a million pounds then that would solve your problem of not having to pay the rent, if we were all hit with a reset it wouldnt solve equality but put it firmly on the backburner as nobody would care

did you understand that? probably not lol

You're saying none of this discussion matters because if we were hit with a reset, we'd return to basic survival instincts, under which all of this talk would be irrelevant. I'm pointing out that you've made a glaring logical error. You're saying that it doesn't matter now because there is a condition under which, should that condition be satisfied, it would not matter. What I was telling you is that, as this condition has not been satisfied, it still does matter (just as, until the condition of me inheriting a large sum of money is satisfied, my having to pay the bills still matters).

Did you understand this time?

[Pada]

But if we all had to struggle to stay alive I think it would get worse like how you get racial gangs in American (maybe British as well, i've never been to either) Prisons.

[seckle]

Just to answer the google bot questions for maybe the 12th time...google cacheing still happens regardless of whether you post in a registered users only section....like snh. Also, the other more serious issue is that tits an ass threads are full of stolen pics and videos bandwidth from other sites. A site that has 4000 pics of tits, has already been flagged into parental warning by msn,bing,yahoo, etc. So when you image tag these sites, using their flagged urls for the image...in effect to google it looks like DSF refers porn. Then we get flagged at a certain amount of refferal traffic. Parental warning hardware at universities and libraries is so sophisticated now, and we want as many people as possible to have access here. Students especially.

[nousd]

ie
here for scorn
elsewhere for porn

re kay's post: does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen?

That's a really interesting question

something happening requires a dissolution of barriers,
some sort of mutual action, likemindedness, empathy or shared lust
a consent, an understanding, an allowing
otherwise it can only be rape.

I find many women hard to read so I don't make myself available to them
but then, when an intriguing woman comes along
(and there aren't many),
for something to happen
I've gotta make sure I don't objectivize her
but open myself up in the hope of her doing the same.
In my case that takes a bit of courage.

[kay]

I'd like to throw out something that might be from a slightly different viewpoint. It bears on the subject of "Ooo boobies!" and "Look at the tits on that!". Frankly speaking, I generally don't talk about women in that way. In fact, I'm downright uncomfortable doing so, and being in the presence of people who do that non-stop. My interest is more on personality and the whole package, rather than specific body parts.

However, this generally leads me to being labelled as "uninterested". One of my oldest friends once described me as asexual. For the record, I'm neither.

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

This is the most interesting thing in this thread.

I also know a few people who dont talk about women, and some a bit more extreme to the point of down right not even noticing if a attractive women walks by.

I think its more down to sex drive, in some cases.

But thats a very interesting point you've raised there, how even women expect men to be "OI GET THAT GASH OUT INIT".

It's definitely not down to sex drive in my case I may or may not notice attractive people walking by though. But yeah, it does get annoying after all the equality of sexes thing and then you get ignored coz you're not drooling all over them.

@sd5: *clap clap clap*

[3za]

I don't care if women use sex toys, or watch porn, or lust over man, or rate men because of their abs (I have no abs). In fact I embrace it, and think it's great, just wish more women were open about it.

Liking the appearance of the opposite sex is normal, it's why man, and women look different. The studying, and sharing of images of the opposite sex, is just about seeing what is about, and seeing what your fellow men like. There is nothing wrong about it, it's natural.

[noam]

I'd like to throw out something that might be from a slightly different viewpoint. It bears on the subject of "Ooo boobies!" and "Look at the tits on that!". Frankly speaking, I generally don't talk about women in that way. In fact, I'm downright uncomfortable doing so, and being in the presence of people who do that non-stop. My interest is more on personality and the whole package, rather than specific body parts.

However, this generally leads me to being labelled as "uninterested". One of my oldest friends once described me as asexual. For the record, I'm neither.

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

This is the most interesting thing in this thread.

I also know a few people who dont talk about women, and some a bit more extreme to the point of down right not even noticing if a attractive women walks by.

I think its more down to sex drive, in some cases.

But thats a very interesting point you've raised there, how even women expect men to be "OI GET THAT GASH OUT INIT".

It's definitely not down to sex drive in my case I may or may not notice attractive people walking by though. But yeah, it does get annoying after all the equality of sexes thing and then you get ignored coz you're not drooling all over them.

@sd5: *clap clap clap*

i've got a good mate exactly like you in that respect

he himself is very quiet, very shy, very unassuming, proper lovely guy though [sometimes]

his housemate and one of his best mates is exactly the opposite, proper womaniser, always calls this other dude 'gay' as a joke

me myself, im sorta in between, i kinda get freaked out by guys who are constantly on it, it irritates me, but at the same time i love lookin at girls and there's nothin better than hittin it off with a nice girl - i just dont chat on about it all the time, and i dont really find it a bonding process like it seems a lot of people do

there's no doubt though i would do a lot better if i was basically that caricature personality... but its not me

it does crack me up watchin some of my mates in that environment, and you're right, some girls lap it up!

it makes sense, if there's boys like that, there's girls like that too, otherwise the boys/girls wouldn't be like that in the first place!

[kingGhost]

[bigfootspartan]

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

+1. I was the kid who grew up in the Texas of Canada, so I was always taught to 'respect girls' because that's what Jesus would do... Anyways, I ended always being in the friend zone, because, even though I expressed interest, I'd take things in a non-objectifying, 'let's be friends so we know if we're actually compatible' way to make sure I wasn't just ending up with the old in and out.

Maybe it's different across the pond, but over here, until I set out with the intentions of getting laid I had no chance of getting a girlfriend. If those intentions meant that I was objectifying the ladies, well then that's great, but I can promise you the girls over here were all doing the exact same thing as me. In my experience, attraction is a prerequisite for a good relationship, and if some see that as objectification, then that's their prerogative.

Few people go into a relationship where all they see is a shag and not a person, just as few people go into a relationship where all they see is a friend and no shag.

I'll agree that in certain situations there is a bias towards the female figure in the media. But I think the whole 'men objectify women' thing is largely a two way street, it's just the majority of women won't admit it. Maybe LACE is more evolved than us, and finds attraction through a non objectifying manner, but I'd say the majority of women aren't looking for a friend first and a partner second, so to ask a man for that is quite ludicrous in my opinion.

Anyways, I've got a girl who I lust over, and whom I'm best friends with. The exploration of our lust/attraction/objectification came before the best friends bit, but in the end we both found ourselves in the same situation, and I'd argue that it had to happen in that order, if it were the other way we would have been in mutual friend zones...

[wolf89]

I wanna fuck constantly. Objectification? The fuck does that matter in the end you know. Clearly people get more than just "I wanna stick my nob in that" 24 hours a day yeah? Don't mean shit. fuck off

[nowaysj]

Random thoughts and observations: At age 3 my daughter started stripping naked and striking playboyesque poses in the mirror. Where in the motherfucking world did that come from? WHERE?

I can't stand going into Toys R Us, a large toy store chain here in the states. The girls toys... they're slut toys, aisle after aisle of big titted, big assed bimbo's with cell phone accessories, and dogs in their purses. I just can't stand it. It is like slut aisle, slut aisle, slut aisle, domestic aisle with kitchen sets and cash registers. What?

To my understanding a much larger percentage of men than women were fired beginning in 07 De/Recession. More women then men are now graduating college, and more women than men are getting advanced degrees. What that means for the future, only the future knows, but it is interesting.

[Badman Juice]

Random thoughts and observations: At age 3 my daughter started stripping naked and striking playboyesque poses in the mirror. Where in the motherfucking world did that come from? WHERE?

I can't stand going into Toys R Us, a large toy store chain here in the states. The girls toys... they're slut toys, aisle after aisle of big titted, big assed bimbo's with cell phone accessories, and dogs in their purses. I just can't stand it. It is like slut aisle, slut aisle, slut aisle, domestic aisle with kitchen sets and cash registers. What?

To my understanding a much larger percentage of men than women were fired beginning in 07 De/Recession. More women then men are now graduating college, and more women than men are getting advanced degrees. What that means for the future, only the future knows, but it is interesting.

pics?

[LACE]

+1. I was the kid who grew up in the Texas of Canada, so I was always taught to 'respect girls' because that's what Jesus would do... Anyways, I ended always being in the friend zone, because, even though I expressed interest, I'd take things in a non-objectifying, 'let's be friends so we know if we're actually compatible' way to make sure I wasn't just ending up with the old in and out.

Maybe it's different across the pond, but over here, until I set out with the intentions of getting laid I had no chance of getting a girlfriend. If those intentions meant that I was objectifying the ladies, well then that's great, but I can promise you the girls over here were all doing the exact same thing as me. In my experience, attraction is a prerequisite for a good relationship, and if some see that as objectification, then that's their prerogative.

Few people go into a relationship where all they see is a shag and not a person, just as few people go into a relationship where all they see is a friend and no shag.

I'll agree that in certain situations there is a bias towards the female figure in the media. But I think the whole 'men objectify women' thing is largely a two way street, it's just the majority of women won't admit it. Maybe LACE is more evolved than us, and finds attraction through a non objectifying manner, but I'd say the majority of women aren't looking for a friend first and a partner second, so to ask a man for that is quite ludicrous in my opinion.

Anyways, I've got a girl who I lust over, and whom I'm best friends with. The exploration of our lust/attraction/objectification came before the best friends bit, but in the end we both found ourselves in the same situation, and I'd argue that it had to happen in that order, if it were the other way we would have been in mutual friend zones...

More evolved..

This was my response to Kay though so I wouldn't doubt a degree of objectification.

I don't think so, I think attraction needs to be present for something to happen. I'm not sure exactly how much of sexuality is based on conditioning or hardwired impulses but I do know that lust (even slight objectification) is natural, I'd offer that there's nothing wrong with it, provided that people remain aware that they are a thinking, feeling, human completely separate from whatever fantasies you may have about them. Previous threads here about women indicate that some are incapable of connecting the two, and the responses turn into a misogynistic shit storm.

Also, nowaysj brings across a good point, most of you will never really understand the frustration unless you're raising a daughter.

[wolf89]

Ignore my post I was drunk and being silly

[cityzen]

Lol, I can't ignore it. It's tooo funny

[noam]

I wanna fuck constantly. Objectification? The fuck does that matter in the end you know. Clearly people get more than just "I wanna stick my nob in that" 24 hours a day yeah? Don't mean shit. fuck off

WOLF ANGRY!! WOLF SMAAAAAASH!!!

[particle-jim]

I'd like to throw out something that might be from a slightly different viewpoint. It bears on the subject of "Ooo boobies!" and "Look at the tits on that!". Frankly speaking, I generally don't talk about women in that way. In fact, I'm downright uncomfortable doing so, and being in the presence of people who do that non-stop. My interest is more on personality and the whole package, rather than specific body parts.

However, this generally leads me to being labelled as "uninterested". One of my oldest friends once described me as asexual. For the record, I'm neither.

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

This sounds a lot like me
Makes me wonder if I would do better with women if I was some obnoxious "oi oi, get yer tits aaat" sex pest rather than a quiet and shy individual who is very uncomfortable talking about that sort of thing... I probably would to be honest, but the sort of women who would respond positively to that kind of behaviour wouldn't really be the sort of women I'd be interested in, the sort of women I'd be interested in would probably be just as quiet and shy as myself but then how will either of us initiate anything if we are both uncomfortable talking about it?
It's almost like I'm purpose built to dwell in the friend zone

[leebass]

I'd like to throw out something that might be from a slightly different viewpoint. It bears on the subject of "Ooo boobies!" and "Look at the tits on that!". Frankly speaking, I generally don't talk about women in that way. In fact, I'm downright uncomfortable doing so, and being in the presence of people who do that non-stop. My interest is more on personality and the whole package, rather than specific body parts.

However, this generally leads me to being labelled as "uninterested". One of my oldest friends once described me as asexual. For the record, I'm neither.

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

This sounds a lot like me
Makes me wonder if I would do better with women if I was some obnoxious "oi oi, get yer tits aaat" sex pest rather than a quiet and shy individual who is very uncomfortable talking about that sort of thing... I probably would to be honest, but the sort of women who would respond positively to that kind of behaviour wouldn't really be the sort of women I'd be interested in, the sort of women I'd be interested in would probably be just as quiet and shy as myself but then how will either of us initiate anything if we are both uncomfortable talking about it?
It's almost like I'm purpose built to dwell in the friend zone

It's not as black and white as that. Yeah there are women that do enjoy that kind of attention, but who would want to go out with them anyway?
You don't have to be obnoxious to let a girl know you're interested.
Ask her out to do something just the two of you. Joke around and tease her.
And if you're both shy it makes the situation so much more easier, cos you're speaking to someone on the same wavelength as you. That's what i find anyway.

[particle-jim]

I'd like to throw out something that might be from a slightly different viewpoint. It bears on the subject of "Ooo boobies!" and "Look at the tits on that!". Frankly speaking, I generally don't talk about women in that way. In fact, I'm downright uncomfortable doing so, and being in the presence of people who do that non-stop. My interest is more on personality and the whole package, rather than specific body parts.

However, this generally leads me to being labelled as "uninterested". One of my oldest friends once described me as asexual. For the record, I'm neither.

This then brings up two things:
1) The impression I get from the male demographic is that I'm slightly odd. Not gay, just odd.
2) The impression I get from the female demographic is that they don't really know what to do about me. Typically, I get assigned to Friend Zone faster than you Usain Bolt can run.

What then does this say about sexuality? There are arguments against objectivisation, but does some degree of objectivisation need to be present for something to happen? How much of sexuality is based on conditioning, and how much is based on hardwired reflexes/impulses?

This sounds a lot like me
Makes me wonder if I would do better with women if I was some obnoxious "oi oi, get yer tits aaat" sex pest rather than a quiet and shy individual who is very uncomfortable talking about that sort of thing... I probably would to be honest, but the sort of women who would respond positively to that kind of behaviour wouldn't really be the sort of women I'd be interested in, the sort of women I'd be interested in would probably be just as quiet and shy as myself but then how will either of us initiate anything if we are both uncomfortable talking about it?
It's almost like I'm purpose built to dwell in the friend zone

You don't have to be obnoxious to let a girl know you're interested.
Ask her out to do something just the two of you. Joke around and tease her.
And if you're both shy it makes the situation so much more easier, cos you're speaking to someone on the same wavelength as you. That's what i find anyway.

meh, to much effort, i'll just do what i always do... get lucky by accident and then be totally unsure as to how i actually managed it