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knell · Post by **knell** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:29 am

I'm not a therapist nor a counselor.

You love this girl at least enough to worry about her and her future. You're wise enough to recognize that you have a problem.

My advice, is to either find a therapist (or someone you trust who can talk you through this) [recommended], or flip your brain on its ass and switch things up. Go on an adventure in your free time, take up stargazing, learn how to build things with your hands, go for walks and listen to podcasts (comedy ones for relief, science ones for pensive moments), redecorate your living spaces, learn a new language, plan a vacation... anything to make your usual schedule different from the norm. There are a lot of options available for you to change things without doing anything drastic.

Enjoy the fact that you're alive and have all your fingers and toes (I assume), this is probably the only chance you'll have.

brettheaslewood · Post by **brettheaslewood** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:37 am

Iorek wrote:we get an apartment, I get a job she is in school.
Normal shit, last two months shit at works been hell, not a big deal I've got a plan for that,
we've recently been talking about getting engaged not a big deal either.

if you're attitude towards getting a place with another being, getting engaged to the girl you love is 'no big deal'
then yeah you have got issues.

sorry to be blunt.

scspkr99 · Post by **scspkr99** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 1:31 pm

brettheaslewood wrote:if you're attitude towards getting a place with another being, getting engaged to the girl you love is 'no big deal'
then yeah you have got issues.

sorry to be blunt.

It's not about being blunt.

OP if you've been feeling suicidal you need to speak to a counsellor, find out if there's anything in your area or call the Samaritans or some other service. If it's depression then it's an illness that can be treated and there are a variety of treatments but you have to go look and discuss this.

Good luck

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 1:55 pm

So you have a lady you love and I assume loves you back.
You have a loving family by the sounds of things.
A place to reside.
A job.

So what's making you unhappy?

Refuzed · Post by **Refuzed** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:30 pm

considering you actually seem to have a fairly good life maybe it is a chemical inbalance. it does happen, and is what causes mine, my natural serotonin levels are fucked basically.

other people won't see it, they just see oh everything's going well why the fuck are u upset etc etc, i understand it's not as simple as that cause it still feels nothing is right. All you can do is think happy, keep yourself happy and just carry on with. Exercise releases dopamine which makes you happy, it's one of the best depression cures. also sleeping well is a big one. do you take any drugs? (legal and illegal?) and are you on anything specifically aimed at the depression? obviously if not, that's the next route, but from my own experience i don't recommend tablets. yeah yeah i still take mine, mainly down to the fact i feel i need them and i'm not strong willed enough to fight through the withdrawal effects.

kinda gone off on a tangent here but oh well.

magma · Post by **magma** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:04 pm

Socialise whenever you can even if you don't feel like it. It's amazing the effect simply hanging out has on almost anyone's mood. Humans need social contact like they need air, food and sex.

Make sure that if you don't enjoy your job you have a hobby that you're passionate and excited about.

Speak to someone professional as soon as you can if you really feel like you can't see a way forward... it sounds like you've got a great life, but you need to learn to be more appreciative of your blessings.

test_recordings · Post by **test_recordings** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:27 pm

Socialise, eat healthily and do regular exercise

gwa · Post by **gwa** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:33 pm

stop smoking weed if you do

wormcode · Post by **wormcode** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:17 pm

I'd love to be in that situation right now.
Realise there are people much worse off.

You have a goal with that job, so it's not a dead end. It doesn't have to last forever either.
She obviously wants you around if you are talking about engagement. This is a good thing.
You know she's safe and have a chance to see the girl you love every day.

Consider yourself lucky.

bright maroon · Post by **bright maroon** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:26 pm

You are going to have meltdowns periodically and quite regularly through life...

That's what it is - Just know that everyone is going through it..

What you need to figure out is - if it's your situation that's bad...
or if it's just the redundancy of life..

bright maroon · Post by **bright maroon** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:26 pm

Even if you are just bored waiting for her to do her stuff...

You need to be working towards enjoying something of your own in the meantime...

I wouldn't be talking engagement though in your current state...
That needs to be on hold until you can feel really good about it.

Lifestyle compatibility is a big deal.

SloppySeconds · Post by **SloppySeconds** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:27 pm

i havent had a gf for like 2-3 years and i like to think i'm decent looking, intelligent, maybe too opinionated though.

at least you have someone that loves you, you're just bored with the normal routine of life it sounds like.. dont be such a chode

horse · Post by **horse** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:33 pm

feasible_weasel · Post by **feasible_weasel** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:31 pm

dealt with depression all my life to child abuse and lots of problems, im one of lifes losers...
i think ur problem maybe that ur not maximising your time with each situation...
when im at work i bring along feas like fun and dedication,people think im a bit nuts, but im just getting on with things.make dull happy
at the gym im super serious and agressive, with my weights and enjoy kickboxing
when i see friends and family im plasid and just let people be dicks around me...

to think u have a gf and family..u have no gf and no parents, just u need to take each moment and run with it..i dunno if u kind of melted everything into one..but u gotta switch off...
the fact u have money and somebody to do the matress mumbo with id def something to be happy about

Clean · Post by **Clean** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:28 pm

Something that really helped me was finding a new hobby. A hobby which you can be passionate about. It helps get your mind off of bad things, and calm you down a little.

dj2slo · Post by **dj2slo** » Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:30 am

I deal with pretty extreme depression on a daily basis. Really the best advice that I could give you is to start an exercise routine, and eat a lot healthier. I started exercising everyday recently, changed my diet, and started smoking weed. It doesn't fix anything, but it helps out a lot.

Iorek · Post by **Iorek** » Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:37 am

Thanks I will see what I can do

helix · Post by **helix** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:49 am

LOL SINCE FAILING ALL MY CLASSES AT AN INSTITUTE OF HIGHER LEARNING I REALIZED I'M A PRETTY UNHAPPY DUDE

I GOT A GIRLFRIEND, BUT I FIGURE SHE'S GONNA REALIZE MY LIFE IS RAPIDLY HEADING NOWHERE

WHOOPS

helix · Post by **helix** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:50 am

IM KIND OF A BIG FAILURE

AGAIN, WHOOPS

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