To single or not to single.

[jaydot]

Okay I hear and see a lot of people who are in relationships young, 17, 18, 19.. do you really need to be in a serious relationship at that age or do you need to have different experiences before you do? By that I mean different experiences regarding dating, going out and enjoying life without inhibitions and worries etc etc

I see pros and cons in each but sometimes young people are in relationships for the sake of it I reckon, if it happens I guess it happens but it was never a pressing issue for me, I was too busy getting drunk. It's a bit shit having no companionship, but you don't need be in a relationship to have that.

What do you think?

[particle-jim]

wasted about 3 years of my life between the ages of 16-19 in an increasingly painful relationship that ended in a black abyss of mutual hatred... i wouldn't advise it

*edit* that said, we were together long enough that the sex became very intense and experimental for us not to get bored, it was sometimes brilliant and sometimes terrifying, i'll never look at a bottle of champagne the same way again...

[Kochari]

Whatever's clever, Trevor

[jameshk]

i'll never look at a bottle of champagne the same way again...

I've been in plenty of serious relationships and im only 20. Personally I wouldn't advise anything too serious.

At the moment im going down the route of hating all women and love. It only ends up with both people getting hurt. Not worth the risk.

Just be happy and see what the world brings you

[pandabear]

I know this will sound bad coming from a girl, I think you should try a different flavor every year (not week or month). I personally know friends who went out in high school, got married after, and want to kill each other before they even turned 25. Or had a hell of a divorce because of a child involved. If you plan to be with someone for a long time, don't get her pregnant until late 20s. You do want to feel that puppy love. There's something about it that you'll look back into and feel some sort of completion in that chapter of your life. Don't drag it too long though (i.e. get married).

[jaydot]

I'm still thinking that everyone should try a different flavour every week, tbh

[kidshuffle]

I think you should be in one serious relationship during that point in your life (because lets face it, serious is like a year at that age), just so you learn how bad relationships can be, and how to avoid further bad relationships.

I also think you need to experiment with being single though. My bestfriend is my age (22) and has never been single for more than a couple of months; and keeps getting into "serious" relationships with his rebounds (and even got engaged to one at one point), since they're all the same type of girls (needy and/or sluts). Some times, forcing yourself to wait for the right person is the best choice. Until you find that person, romp away.

[-[2]DAY_-]

no matter who you're with
you go to sleep alone
and you wake up alone

so i look out for myself these days

[particle-jim]

and you wake up alone

i dunno, once i woke up and noticed that i was getting a blowjob... cant do that on your own

[jaydot]

You have to have a serious relationship in a lifetime it'd be shit not to. And it is like a millstone until you do but some people just aren't compatible, and why should settle for second best?

[apmje]

Was in a relationship from 16 to 19 and it was pretty much this:

wasted about 3 years of my life between the ages of 16-19 in an increasingly painful relationship that ended in a black abyss of mutual hatred... i wouldn't advise it

Spent 2 months single and thought it was a bit dump, got with a lass which was meant to be a one night thing and we stayed in touch, now we've been together two and a half years and she's awesome.

[esfandyar]

i dunno, once i woke up and noticed that i was getting a blowjob... cant do that on your own

get into a relationship just dont get married until later on in your life, if you ever intend to get married. just because you are young doesnt mean that getting into a relationship is bad, you learn a lot. just dont have a kid or get married until much later lol. also, in my opinion i would make sure the partner has goals. i think anyone could get a good looking person to go out with, but do they have anything about them thats worthwhile? not like money, but again like goals, aspirations, hobbies... last thing you want is someone to make you as their hobby. i am someone who needs lots of space and time to myself in relationships. so its good for the person you are interested in to have other things of interest.

[JBoy]

I suppose its different for everyone isnt it, i dont think you should rush things when youre too young though. I dont know of many 'first love' relationships that have lasted into peoples 20's, although im sure there are a lot. I think facebook is a big factor in peoples lives nowadays with regards to relationships, people would rather write on their 'gf's/bf's' wall instead of speak to them even though theyre sat next to eachother. My girlfriend doesnt want to spend all her time with me and i dont want the same, space is good. All of these super intense public affection types are always the ones who have arguments and problems.

[Kochari]

I suppose its different for everyone isnt it, i dont think you should rush things when youre too young though. I dont know of many 'first love' relationships that have lasted into peoples 20's, although im sure there are a lot. I think facebook is a big factor in peoples lives nowadays with regards to relationships, people would rather write on their 'gf's/bf's' wall instead of speak to them even though theyre sat next to eachother. My girlfriend doesnt want to spend all her time with me and i dont want the same, space is good. All of these super intense public affection types are always the ones who have arguments and problems.

Not necessarily, me and my ex used to spend basically all our time together and we had a long time of bliss, 2 weeks of intense nastiness and end.

[bright maroon]

..I don't think you should be considering things like marriage till you are at least 26...

That being said - I think being in relationships is necessary in order to kinda learn..
..learn what works and what doesn't...

but be careful with the baby making...and keep things honest and clear



alot of girls go batshit baby crazy because of their clocks ticking or whatever - so be aware of that

[mrdii]

I've been single my entire life, out of choice more than anything. Beware, the following view is very cynical!

I think the problem with relationships is that most people are too moronic to be with for many hours of a day (Boys and girls). When I was about 11 years old I always thought "I may get in a relationship when I'm 16 or something because people will be more mature and it will be more meaningful". Well, age 16 came and went and whilst people do generally mature - I can still see the idiocy in them.

I mean, throughout University many friends got into relationships. Would they last long-term? From an outsiders view definitely not...so why did they do them? Well, it wasn't casual sex (which I think is a much better option) but more out of insecurity (Especially with girls). I viewed first hand how messed up things could be when the girl or boy basically did anything to keep the other happy, and it goes on for months, sometimes years. What a waste! It's not like these people are in their late 20's and time is ticking. So my advice would be to go out and be young. If you really like someone then go for it, but you probably don't really like them.

For the record, I am a very cynical person and generally despise most other human beings, so allow me for being very negative.

[bright maroon]

I personally think it's really hard to find someone that is..

#1 compatible enough to be serious with you..

and #2 actually wants to..

so it's important to take advantage of/appreciate what does happen for you..
but there should be no delusional pressure into signing contracts/starting families...etc.

[bright maroon]

..at the very last possible moment of my last relationship...

I had my ex throw a baby at me...

luckily for me - it was his erratic behavior that was driving me off...to begin with
and not my need for an anchor...to stay

so, now after a lot of failed dating - he is married with 2 kids...


and I am bored - talking on a music forum.

I look back and absolutely would not change it.

[-[2]DAY_-]

who throws a baby...

[Liam92]

Nearly 20 and not been in a proper SERIOUS relationship yet, meh!