Top 10 unlikely musicians on the dubstep bandwagon

[alphacat]

http://www.thevine.com.au/music/news/to ... -bandwagon

[OfficialDAPT]

Most of that isn't dubstep even.............

[Alistairr]

why do you even care...?

[alphacat]

@OfficialDAPT I know - and the Beatles one? Anybody can take anything and "remix" it... doesn't mean it's some kind of overarching trend or something.

Ah, but journalists never trump shit up just to sell papers/get webhits do they?

@Alistairr - you can't help but care a little when it comes to how something you like is characterized (and misrepresented) to the larger world...

[OfficialDAPT]

Ah, but journalists never trump shit up just to sell papers/get webhits do they?

LOLZZZZZZZZZZ, pretty sure you're being sarcastic right?

[DJDM]

...there’s no such thing as correct blame attribution in the world of dubstep.

bullshit. you can certainly trace these shit remixes back to a source, primarily preteens thinking they're ironic or clever by adding filthy wobbles to pop songs/classic Beatles songs/fucking commercial jingles.

[Gurnumsbug]

Just because I hate the formatting on this website, here's the list!
"
10. KoRn

Of all the musicians listed here, Jonathan Davis’ cockroach of a band (namely, it refuses to die) is probably the least surprising when it comes to embracing the bro-step. Skrillex is about as abrasive as anything on ‘Follow The Leader’, and now that most nu-metal pioneers have become massive cry-babies and/or Jesus freaks, it seems like the logical sound to take its place as The Genre Your Parents Love To Hate. The thing is, KoRn didn’t just do a one-off dubstep collaboration. They did a whole freaking album of them. It’s called The Path Of Totality and it came out last year and I just put it on for like 2 seconds and both my brothers laughed at me.

9. Gotye

‘Our Gotye cruisy dubstep remix, we've been working on for a while now, we really tried to keep the angst and emotion behind the amazing original, we hope you enjoy it, we're really happy with the track and suggest a few listens with your subs on ’ For the record, Bombs Away, my subs are always on. I sleep with subs warming up for the precise moment when I need to pump up the bass. This isn’t one of them.

Poor Wally/Wouter/Wout-Up-How-Big-Is-My-Bank-Account took pity on the thousands of Internet warriors reworking his song and will #soon release an entire remix album based entirely on ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’. This rendition isn’t going to be on there, mainly because there is no such thing as cruisy dubstep. The idea that there’s space between the bass notes is apparently meant to make this a completely different approach from the rest of the bros out there, but somebody should have told them that jamming the xylophone ostinato into a blender is not going to win you any favours. The main riff is seriously offensive, so I assume when they say they’re capturing the emotion of the original, what they mean is they’re capturing their girlfriends, locking them in the back of a trunk and driving them off a bridge. Oh wait, that’s another angsty pop song….

8. Cypress Hill

Once again, the ability to be angry puts anyone in the frame to empathise with bowel-shattering bass. But Cypress Hill are known for being a bit more refined than that. Even when Rage Against The Machine amped up ‘How I Could Just Kill A Man’ on their Renegades album in 2000, it still seemed to serve some sort of purpose. But teaming up with Rusko (that’s the guy who fights with everyone all the time, except Diplo) on an EP was not supposed to be part of the script. If dubstep devours classic hip-hop, we’re all in serious trouble. Also, smoking heaps of bongs and listening to hyper-processed, chainsaw synths firing off like canons cannot possibly be fun for anyone who isn’t writing a Vice article.

7. Foster The People

So what I really want to know is where dubstep producers get their monikers from. It’s like this special brand of pathetic bro-branding that is reserved exclusively for lads who believe a Macbook is an actual instrument. The guy who blew the tits off ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ goes under the superhero title of ‘Butch Clancy’, which you’d imagine wouldn’t even get you nailed at a gay bar if you went around pirouetting in arseless chaps. Obviously with a name like that he can appreciate the irony of taking a benign pop song about high school violence and turning it into a violently, spleen-punching song about high school violence. This is what postmodernism means if you went to one of those schools where they let you do metal work at age three and ‘discover your own path to knowledge.’ ‘Butch Clancy’. Seriously, I cannot get over it.

6. Britney Spears

An absolute stinker of a track, ‘Hold It Against Me’ was actually saved by a middle-eight that casually nicked a low-hanging bass line and a few ‘womps’ and totally caught everyone unawares. Britters will do anything for a rise; this is the girl who once wore a red lycra bodysuit – in space - but this really is pushing it. Of course, with seemingly endless bags of record label money, Spears had the last laugh, because they’re all doing it now. Problem is, hers was first so she’ll cop a beating forever.

5. The Beatles

True, it wasn’t *actually* their fault, but there’s no such thing as correct blame attribution in the world of dubstep. Some bright spark who hasn’t had sex since Justin Timberlake was in *NSync decided that it would be a great idea to really beef up those sonorous strings in ‘Eleanor Rigby’ with a whole buttload of machine-gun bass. Discounting the fact that trying to add stereo, computerised sound to an original mono recording is the dumbest idea ever, MXWL gets bonus points for apparently being the best of a bad bunch.

Actual viewer quote: “I've listened to and love every single Beatle song. If all of them were remixed like this, I would love them that much more. This is brilliant.” Ringo’s not going to be happy, though. There’s no way he could ever play a beat like this in a million years, which kind of negates his entire role in the band. Whatever, where’s my Red Bull...

4. Tommy Lee

Questionable inclusion as nobody’s sure if he actually does anything anymore, Tommy Lee released a collaboration with producer of the moment (if you’re slightly deranged), Figure, called ‘Pounds Of Blood’. It came out nearly a year ago and if you didn’t hear it consider yourself blessed. It seems like he actually did play some real drums on this thing, you can even hear a cowbell in it… somewhere. As for what else is happening, well, Skrillex sounds like a genius by comparison. It’s like a reality TV show trainwreck, except he’s already done one of those. Well done Tommy, for outdoing yourself once again in the fine art of being offensive to absolutely everyone.

3. Justin Bieber

Seriously, it was all going so well. ‘Baby’ wasn’t that annoying, and that new single 'Boyfriend' sounds exactly like what happens when the Ying Yang twins get in bed with a copy of Justin Timberlake’s first album (aka excellent). Bieber, the popstar who can sing, dance and grip his own balls just like Usher did when he was that age, has the world at his feet. Then he decided to release a song called ‘As Long As You Love Me’, which would have totally captured the 26-35 year old market who still love Backstreet Boys assuming it wasn’t fucking dubstep. Which it was.

Great move, Biebs. This is perhaps the best example of the Americanisation of a British phenomenon, because it sounds like Skream and Benga assuming they were dishwashing liquid and not party-starters. Just like you shouldn’t have messed with The Office, you should have left the wub-wubs to the pros, dudes.

2. Muse

WHAAAAAAT. Surely I’m going to get skewered alive here by all the earnest punk-rock warehouse kids, but despite what everyone says about Muse, Matthew Bellamy is an unbelievable guitarist and a top-notch singer. While they have been going overboard on recent outings, Muse remain one of the few proper stadium rock bands on the circuit at the moment, and as stupidly overblown as they go on record, they can always match it in the arena. Then they drop the trailer for their new record and there’s like, a minute of chainsaw-drill-punch-on-violence in it.

Guys, at the end of the world, there isn’t dubstep. There’s Justin Bieber singing dubstep. Throw your arpeggiators and your overdrive presets out the window and get back to the job of being the only band worthy as heirs to Queen. Personally I think this is just a massive joke (and Muse are known for those, remember when they all swapped instruments on Italian TV?) and the album will sound nothing like Skrillex/12th Planet/Jonathan Davis’ daydreams. Surely even after all the money and blow and smoke up the rear end, they aren’t the stupid. Right? Right?

1. Kanye West & Jay-Z (& Jason Russell)

Yeah all you naysayers and haters and heads who are all like ‘I only listen to real music’ and “****** in Paris” should be up there with the Mona Lisa, man’, how did nobody pick this one? Kanye, who is always about three steps and a half-block ahead of the curve took a break from exhuming the ghosts of soul singers past and present to tap into the vibe of America and let his producer nick a hook from a major dubstep player.

Joshua Steele, known to his Mum and a generation of 4am munters as Flux Pavilion, is probably the richest womp-womp-maker in Britain right now. Not only was his track ‘I Can’t Stop’ lifted for the bombastic ‘Who Gon Stop Me’ on Watch The Throne, but the homies over at Invisible Children decided it was such a good idea that they used it for their Kony 2012 video as well. That’s pretty much every person on the planet with an Internet connection covered.

Strangely, this fit doesn’t really work for ‘Ye. Unlike auto-tune, which he managed to make his own, and hashtag-rapping, which he helped coin and then abandoned, the idea of rappers spitting rhymes over half-time drops is kind of incongruous. It’s like the energy is sucked out halfway, as if Jay-Z has taken a draw of a Cuban Cigar and then abandoned it to go have perfect sex with his ridiculously attractive wife. It’s precisely because they least needed to hitch a ride on the dubstep train that ‘Ye and Jigga take out the top spot. Again. Seriously guys, stop winning at everything.

Jonno Seidler
"

[alphacat]

Ah, but journalists never trump shit up just to sell papers/get webhits do they?

LOLZZZZZZZZZZ, pretty sure you're being sarcastic right?

Why, what do you mean? [blink]

[BonerJams04]

whoever wrote that may be retarded

people doing youtube remixes does not mean the artist is jumping the bandwagon.

[Today]

the beatles one was stupid but a few of the others were pretty spot on...
The writer even acknowledges that it's obviously not a Beatles project.

I dunno what makes you class them as an actual retard

[hellbent]

tech n9ne and strange music are making a ton of dubstep songs now.

[pete_bubonic]

When I was bumping 'Watch the Throne' I nearly picked up my lappy and threw it out the window when 'I Cant stop' came on. Actually made me draw for the shank.

[BonerJams04]

yeah that song sucked

[dickman69]

"It’s like this special brand of pathetic bro-branding that is reserved exclusively for lads who believe a Macbook is an actual instrument."

fuck offfff