Professor Nonce's School for Nincompoops

[gravious]

Sir Gravious, might i pose a few questions?

what kind of a plant does cantaloupe grow on?

Cantaloupes grow at - or near - ground level, the fruit of a short plant of the same genum as cucumber and pumpkin plants.

what the fuck kind of animal ripped the head off the rabbit, who's carcus is now in decay behind my apartment? (mind you i live in the midwest/usa)

More than likely this is the work of a bird of prey/raptor. They often decapitate prey, as the heads/skulls of rodents are harder to consume.

The perpitrator is probably a hawk of some kind. Red-tailed hawks are relatively common, and are known to exibit such behaviour, so would be a strong possibility.

[gravious]

please explain evolution re: butterflies.

Contrary to the beliefs of many, evolution is not a purposeful force, and therefore produces many creatures that are seemingly pointless, bizarre or wonderful. Whilst most of these creatures wouldn't last long, some find a niche, or are simply fast breeding enough to survive in numbers.

[gravious]

please explain evolution re: butterflies.

On the same subject please explain evolution re: ISP customer service operators.

Contrary to the beliefs of many, evolution is not a purposeful force, and therefore produces many creatures that are seemingly pointless or bizarre. Whilst most of these creatures wouldn't last long, some find a niche, or are simply fast breeding enough to survive in numbers.

[feasible_weasel]

why is the baseball world series called that, when only american plays.
if two people = foreplay if its 4 people does that make it octplay??

[gravious]

who is the irritating litle man that pops up on the hollyoaks omnibus and stands in the bottom right corner raving and getting in the way of the screen?

Brian

[gravious]

Where do roly polys go?

Please elaborate on the nature of "roly polys".

Bonzi Buddy?

This is not even a question. At least the last question - whilst nonsensical - was in the correct grammatical form.

Have you been skipping grammar class?

I might have to lift my moritorium on dunces hats and sound-thrashings if this continues.

[gravious]

Do most bees get the weekend off?

Only in death.

[gravious]

1. what is the part of the sun called that outside the core, but no the corona

The chronosphere and the photosphere are the next 2 layers I believe.

2. what do scientists call the path the light takes to get out of the sun and into space. I seem to remember something along the lines of "the great wander" or some other cheeky nickname they had for it.

I am afraid I am not aware of such a "cheeky nickname". However, the process you speak of is widely understood to be the result of photon emission, absorbtion and re-emission through the various layers of the sun. The fusion reactions in the core produce gamma radiation emissions, which are rapidly absorbed and re-emitted at increasing wavelengths as they make their way out through the outer layers of the sun. When they reach the service, many have reached the wavelength of the visible spectrum.

Various extimates at the timescale for this process range from sever tens of thousands of years, up to 50 million years.

I had watched a show on the discovery channel about the sun. The sun is a very interesting celestial body. one of the things I learned, but forgot half of, was that light is made in the core of the sun and has to get out.

I do know that whatever is between space and the core of the sun bounces light back and forth and it spends an insanely long amount of time just getting past this layer, as the light gets bounced around.

please sir, tell me the whole story, I was trying to tell a friend this and I realized halfway through that had forgotten half of the info I was trying to relay due to my raging case of adhd and I...

OH SHIT!!! forgot about the ramen! oh well, it's waste now anyway,

I wanted to tell him of this fascinating fact I had learned but I was not only unable to, but looked quite the fool doing so. please help me out good sir.

This rambling prose put me in mind of the following:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37344

[gravious]

who put the alphabet in that order?

In a sense, the ancient Greeks, as their alphabet led directly to the westernised latin alphabet. The Romans were the first to standardise the Latin alphabet in its current form, around 8-900 years BCE.

whats the speed of dark?

As dark is simply the absence of visible radiation, the speed could be anything. Assuming that the area of darkness was an energy-less vacuum, the Universe-relative speed would be zero.

Dark matter or energy, however, may have a speed and be subject to acceleration, as it exhibits mass characteristics.

what happens if you get 'scared half to death' twice?

If simultaneous - death. If recovery time is allowed betwixt the two occasions, then nothing.

what do you add to powdered water?

The question is vague. However, I am assuming you wish to create liquid water. In which case, you would need to add heat, as water only exists in solid form below 0 degrees centigrade.

[kins83]

Do most bees get the weekend off?

Only in death.

Interestingly (heheh) , bees lifetimes (sorry for the shoddy grammar gravious) are directly proportional to the amount of time they spend out working. So a 9-5 bee that gets the weekend off is probably gonna make it to retirement age. Whereas a bee working extra hours to provide him/herself with a comfortable retirement package might not make it.

[spooKs]

I might have to lift my moritorium on...sound-thrashings if this continues.

is that what they're getting?

[gravious]

why is the baseball world series called that, when only american plays.

There are several theories, but the most likely is that when the original "World's Series" was run, America and Canada were the only places where the sport was played.

A true World competition has now been instituted by the MLB to establish which is the World's best team.

if two people = foreplay if its 4 people does that make it octplay??

No. Fore=preceding. Even if the phrase was spelt "fourplay", the logical extension would be "eightplay", as "octplay" would suggest a two-fold progression from "quadplay".

Good heavens, were you educated by a farmyard offal-heap?

[feasible_weasel]

why is the baseball world series called that, when only american plays.

There are several theories, but the most likely is that when the original "World's Series" was run, America and Canada were the only places where the sport was played.

A true World competition has now been instituted by the MLB to establish which is the World's best team.

if two people = foreplay if its 4 people does that make it octplay??

No. Fore=preceding. Even if the phrase was spelt "fourplay", the logical extension would be "eightplay", as "octplay" would suggest a two-fold progression from "quadplay".

Good heavens, were you educated by a farmyard offal-heap?

i was educated by otters

[shonky]

As you haven't answered my previous questions, I shall have to ask another

Why do you fart in a bag, put a scarf round it to hold in the gas, call it Davo and then go on holiday with it in your frankly rather shit caravan?

[randomhed]

Whats a farmyard offal heap sir ?

[gravious]

You impudent runt!

I have limited time Mr Shonky, and it is oft better spent than responding to your juvenile out-pourings...

Furthermore:

Sir, why do you smell of piss?

Because my man-servant has not emptied my catheter

Why do you drive a woman's car?

It belongs to my wife.

And do you have sex with all the class pets?

No. Just the attractive ones.

[shonky]

Nice. Very nice. Would definitely (actually might have if it explains my myxamatosis of the nob)

And how about the caravanning fart bag business sir?

[feasible_weasel]

whats does this formula mean??

[gravious]

whats does this formula mean??

Which one?

[feasible_weasel]

whats does this formula mean??

Which one?

both