Getting back with ur ex..

[particle-jim]

damn, magma comin in with dat knowledge

proper sage wisdom, ima grab a pen and paper...

[Laszlo]

You think that love is won
But then it comes undone and all you have are memories

You say it hurts too much
There's no one left to trust
Your broken heart has nothing left

Would you rather we pretend
Believing you can win
But end up crying every single night

[dubfordessert]

[dreamizm]

i think a big reason for doing this is thinking you're never gonna find someone else, or that if you're gonna have a failed relationship, having failed relationships with many people makes it seem like you're just shit at relationships... fear basically. there's an expectation that there will ever be someone that you can have everything with which i think is unrealistic for a lot of people. breakups are to be expected, especially when you're young. that said i think it's pretty easy to avoid cheating no matter how unhappy you are in your relationship.

but it depends on why you broke up. i don't agree it's always just personality. the strain of circumstances can make things difficult for even the most ideally suited people - i don't think long distance is ever really a good idea. what is a relationship if you barely have time with each other, no matter what the reason?

I agree with this! Never good to make decisions based on fear but that fear/feeling does seem to become more of an issue when u get older. I guess its the reason why people 'settle' and go back to ex's when they older and got no options left. I think it is easier to bounce back from break-ups when u younger- more fish in the pond etc

Situation is a combo of circumstances (not long distance) and other issues which imo are resolvable. So I guess I am thinkin if/when circumstances return to normal, can/shd we get back together. All above advice still applies tho..

Yeh Magma smashing the thread!
Peace.

[dreamizm]

i think a big reason for doing this is thinking you're never gonna find someone else, or that if you're gonna have a failed relationship, having failed relationships with many people makes it seem like you're just shit at relationships... fear basically. there's an expectation that there will ever be someone that you can have everything with which i think is unrealistic for a lot of people. breakups are to be expected, especially when you're young. that said i think it's pretty easy to avoid cheating no matter how unhappy you are in your relationship.

but it depends on why you broke up. i don't agree it's always just personality. the strain of circumstances can make things difficult for even the most ideally suited people - i don't think long distance is ever really a good idea. what is a relationship if you barely have time with each other, no matter what the reason?

You're female tho right? After a few months, wld you ever consider gettin back with an ex? What approach wld be best and do you think the approach from him in itself wld make u think less of him (needy etc) or wld it depend on what he had to say/how u felt at the time?

[magma]

[esfandyar]

fear basically.

bingo

[frank grimes jr.]

Anyone wanted to/tried it...?

What worked, what didn't.... and under what time-frames?

Seems to be a lot of mixed views on it. I am normally a FWD motion kinda guy but hmmm well...

Peace.

Just become heartless. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

[dubfordessert]

i think a big reason for doing this is thinking you're never gonna find someone else, or that if you're gonna have a failed relationship, having failed relationships with many people makes it seem like you're just shit at relationships... fear basically. there's an expectation that there will ever be someone that you can have everything with which i think is unrealistic for a lot of people. breakups are to be expected, especially when you're young. that said i think it's pretty easy to avoid cheating no matter how unhappy you are in your relationship.

but it depends on why you broke up. i don't agree it's always just personality. the strain of circumstances can make things difficult for even the most ideally suited people - i don't think long distance is ever really a good idea. what is a relationship if you barely have time with each other, no matter what the reason?

You're female tho right? After a few months, wld you ever consider gettin back with an ex? What approach wld be best and do you think the approach from him in itself wld make u think less of him (needy etc) or wld it depend on what he had to say/how u felt at the time?

i have no idea what i would do tbh, depends entirely on circumstances...

as regards approach, i would suggest doing it face to face by asking to meet rather than say sending a text, but that should be obvious... other than that, there's not a great deal you could do to "convince" by trying to tailor your approach. i mean, by all means, don't do any weird getting on your knees begging shit, don't necessarily be over the top, but just be straightforward and truthful. if you're an expressive person, then it might get a bit teary or whatever, but that's who you are, no point in hiding it, especially when it comes to a relationship. if that kind of honesty or vulnerability puts her off it's likely you're not right for each other anyway. that said, maybe a big romantic gesture is her/your thing, it's not mine, but you'd know best there... i'm more of a low-key, to the point kinda gal... i'd maybe break the idea to her, see what her reaction is and THEN if she's open to trying again get my romance on to show im srs. but i'm just a woman, i'm not an expert

but unless she's not really receptive to the idea of getting back together in the first place, i don't think any approach (within reason) in itself would put her off.

everyone's different in these situations, you probably already have a good idea of what might happen with this girl... IF you're sure, the only thing to do is go for it.

[ultraspatial]

never a good idea.
the occasional fuck is alright though, as long as you don't get attached again. but imo it's always better to move forward.

[wobbles]

if ur banging her then yea, if ur dating her then no

[kidshuffle]

if its angelo, hells ya

[Kochari]

Situation is a combo of circumstances (not long distance) and other issues which imo are resolvable. So I guess I am thinkin if/when circumstances return to normal, can/shd we get back together.

I reckon (depending on how badly the relationship ended) you have to go into being friends with her for the sake of being friends before anything else can even dream of happening. I'm talking proper slow like. Had a similar situation recently where we kind of agreed that though the time wasn't right for us to be together and we had loads of personal shit to get through first we would probably end up together again at some point, and we'd always be cool at least. So we were trying to be friends while also holding another thing in our minds at the same time, torn between two situations and trying to be both. Fuck that. There's a time for one and a time for two, just don't get it twisted.

[fiasko]

there was a similar thread to this a few months ago and i wished i had took the advice from it

[lovelydivot]

yeah - absolutely not...

I have only had like 2.5 serious relationships and I broke them for multiple good reasons...


I would be friends with them though - very distant friends...only because the breaks were "working-ly cordial"



still - not terribly interested in being too close with them...

looking forward

[lovelydivot]

It's hard finding new friends and people when you get older...

I don't hang out as much - I'm home working on projects - They're home working on projects...


Don't want situations to get weird - too serious - too fast...

You can't just meet someone at the club and be like -
"Yeah let's have dinner sometime next week because I'm not coming out to this particular club for another 2 months..."

I can't even get tried and true friends to do this...


It's good being young and having a regular place to hang out..

[lovelydivot]

I'm waiting for the 30+ junglist old foeggies cocktail lounge and bridge club....NOT!!!


I don't know how to play bridge...

I used to know canasta.

That's a proper junglist card game - It takes 4 decks and 2 weeks to play...
You have to meet everyday for 2 hours...

By the time your done - the natives will have located - transported - and strung up a 26ft long anaconda in the village center

[wobbles]

what

[dubfordessert]

i don't speak to either of my "exes" anymore. don't have shit going on and haven't for like 18 months. the simple life.

unless you count the drug dealer who kept asking to come round my house

[dubfordessert]

he was quite fit actually. and he had a car.