A short Course in the Australian Idiom

[nousd]

Over the next 3 months
I am offering a course in Australian English
which, if you pass the pm exams in March,
is guaranteed you to impress our Department of Immigration
should you so happen to grace our doors or shores via boat or plane
and may even assure your entry to this lucky country.

[magma]

Rule #1: No Pooftahs.

[nousd]

^ application accepted

for others , who may be more doubtful of their pre-qualifications:
to reserve your place in the course
(limited to 30 applicants)
please interpret the following phase:

"Fugin gedidindyamate"

specifically, what possible context could evoke such a speech from a dinky-di Aussie.

Your answer won't necessarily exclude you
but may distinguish you from a dumb literalist
or East European ignoramus
whose elucidation would be both impossible & inconceivable.
Septic parochialism will be allowed for
and pommie snideness will be discounted because you can't help it.

(If the above annoys you, don't bother thinking you'll ever need to enjoy coming here cos we'll quickly realize that you're a prick or a kiwi.)

[NinjaEdit]

A: You say that to a bitch.

[nousd]

^Whilst yu may be from the west,
your residency in the larger continent affords yu honorary skip status
and thus you need not apply nor give wrong and/or sexist answers.

(NOTE: this course does not include sandgroper nuances...
if you desire such instruction, please refer to Nyoongah language-sensitive courses in Albany and Exmouth)

edit: actually I could do with your perspective from the sunset end NinjaEd...please interject freely.

[topmo3]

nice

[nousd]

same goes for bananabender neologisms and Taswegian dialects

any further takers amongst the os drongos?

[nousd]

yur in topmost
I'm sure you'll be a top finisher.

[topmo3]

well thank you but would you stop writing like that for a minute

[nousd]

sure


minutes up mate
wadyawannano about stralian then?

[topmo3]

lol don't know really but I'm interested. p hard to explain by writing though isn't it? just gimme a crash course

[magma]

lol don't know really but I'm interested. p hard to explain by writing though isn't it? just gimme a crash course

It helps if you read each post out-loud in the voice of Alf Stewart from Home & Away.



You'll be bantering with the dinkum Bruces in no time.

[nousd]

the Ukraine course it is then...

first, we'll cover the convict influence
whilst acknowledging the free-settler dog

after appreciating that Old Australian (English) is best preserved in aboriginal currency,
cos that's what their languages were first replaced or corrupted by,
we imagine the First Fleet retinue:

a few "gentlemen" administrators and ships' captains (not highborn aristocrats...more bourgeoise merchant/clergymen types)
some soldiers, generally with limited formal educated,
a bunch of shyster & prostitute women
and a mob of low-life Britons from all over but mainly London.
Not murderers & rapists as such (they were hanged)
but the bad, sneaky bastards out of crowded, industrializing England.

originally there was every regional dialect, Scots, Irish and a smattering of continentals
but, because a lot of the Old Bailey sentences were given to locals,
the cockney patois predominated.

[nousd]

the lags were hung regularly and lashed often
so they remained a pretty resentful bunch
The worst thing you could do was dob in a fellow convict or put on airs.
It was OK to be educated (forgers, swindlers)
but only so far as you were as useful as. say, a butcher or candlestickmaker, for reading & writing & such.

[magma]

Someone once taught me that the way to do an Australian accent is imagine you've been in a dark room for a few months and then been blinded by the blazing sun of Botany Bay.

"Crrooiiikey!"

[nousd]

^can't see it mself

anyway
subsequent fleets brought "free" settlers,
i.e. tinpot but intrepid entrepreneurs
hoping to own lots of stuff like they couldn't in Britain
but they were generally brought down to earth by having to rely on indentured prisoners and the few convicts who finished their sentences
Their imperialistic instincts took them well beyond the limits of government control
so they had to parllay with aboriginals
(or in some instances, massacre them with the assistance of their social inferiors, the convicts
i.e. they became complicit in a way that no posturing nor plummy voice could absolve them)

The point is: lingual social differences broke down with a melding of voices effectively obliterating affectation (dog) in all but the entrenched anglophiles.

[nousd]

tomorrow, the aboriginal influence

[sixs]

do I have to be racist and have no regard for the environment to join?

[sigbowls]

my cousin is in australia and i wish i was there

[nousd]

do I have to be racist and have no regard for the environment to join?

no but you're welcome