post shit jokes here :D

wizard · Post by **wizard** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:24 pm

shit jokes aare always the funny ones

casper walks into a bar and asks for a rum
barman says
sorry mate dont serve spirits

feasible_weasel · Post by **feasible_weasel** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:27 pm

two packets of crisps walking down the road
man stop and asks them,if they need a lift
the crisps say that ok " we are walkers"

thomas · Post by **thomas** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:29 pm

^ same person?

tempest · Post by **tempest** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:31 pm

feasible_weasel · Post by **feasible_weasel** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:43 pm

Mr Hyde wrote:What's brown and sticky?....
A stick.

whats small and slippery
a slipper

steelcity · Post by **steelcity** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:21 pm

what green and smells like yellow paint?

green paint

feasible_weasel · Post by **feasible_weasel** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:27 pm

steelcity wrote:what green and smells like yellow paint?

green paint

thats just silly

auan · Post by **auan** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 4:02 pm

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

whineo · Post by **whineo** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 4:51 pm

Sir Paul McCartney is being interviewed during his Divorce settlement....

Interviewer.. 'So Paul, 2 Marriages have both ended badly. Do you ever think you will be able to go down on one knee ever again??

Sir Paul ... 'Look. Just call her Heather! Please!'

Jubz · Post by **Jubz** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 5:15 pm

Whineo wrote:Sir Paul McCartney is being interviewed during his Divorce settlement....

Interviewer.. 'So Paul, 2 Marriages have both ended badly. Do you ever think you will be able to go down on one knee ever again??

Sir Paul ... 'Look. Just call her Heather! Please!'

Ha ha, Nice.

tronman · Post by **tronman** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 5:25 pm

why did george michael get chocolate on his shirt?

cos he was careless with his wispa.

bright maroon · Post by **bright maroon** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 5:57 pm

umkhontowesizwe · Post by **umkhontowesizwe** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 6:01 pm

irishman walks into a bar, asks the barmaid for an orange juice.
barmaid replies 'is that still orange?'.
irishman says 'of course, i haven't changed my mind'.

badom tish

dubluke · Post by **dubluke** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 7:45 pm

Mr Hyde wrote:What's brown and sticky?....

poo

guerillaeye · Post by **guerillaeye** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:04 pm

a priest and a rabbi were sitting in a park watching some kids play.

the priest askes "you want to screw those kids?"

The rabbi said, "Sure.. out of what?"

tronman · Post by **tronman** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:26 pm

guerillaeye wrote:a priest and a rabbi were sitting in a park watching some kids play.

the priest askes "you want to screw those kids?"

The rabbi said, "Sure.. out of what?"

What did the jewish paedophile say to the child?

Do you want to borrow some sweets?

pk- · Post by **pk-** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:41 pm

tim vine one-liners

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'

I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"

"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.'"

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'

-blade- · Post by **-blade-** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:43 pm

Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny.

le_hardcore_chiefus · Post by **le_hardcore_chiefus** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:47 pm

how do u crucify a spastic..?

nail him to a swastica

post shit jokes here :D

post shit jokes here :D

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