Rich Tea Dad or Evil Hand?

shonky · Post by **shonky** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:54 pm

I can't believe you're throwing around words like "evil" in the 21st century - haven't we moved on from this sort of discrimination yet?

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:21 pm

haven't read all the thread but i'd say an evil dad. you can either ignore an evil dad, or even kill him if he gets a bit much, but i doubt that even given the amazing progress in medical science they'll ever invent a cure for a hand made of rich tea biscuits

paolo · Post by **paolo** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:21 pm

If you had an Evil Dad, you might also have a nice mum who could use her womanly powers to persuade him to exercise restraint

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:23 pm

a nice mum wouldn't marry an evil dad, or wouldn't stay with him if he got evil after the marriage. therefore having an evil dad means a high likelihood of having an evil mum

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:25 pm

paolo wrote:If you had an Evil Dad, you might also have a nice mum who could use her womanly powers to persuade him to exercise restraint

Ah - although this is a good point in theory, under the current conditions of the discussion, there is no allowance for the assumption that an Evil Dad would mean that you also had a Lovely Mum to act as a Balancing Force.

However, the concept has been noted and placed on file for inclusion in future versions of this discussion.

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:31 pm

has anyone thought that the hand made of rich tea biscuits might actually be the result of an evil dad fucking about with your dna for a bit of a laugh?

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:41 pm

badger wrote:has anyone thought that the hand made of rich tea biscuits might actually be the result of an evil dad fucking about with your dna for a bit of a laugh?

That's quite a concept. Although, if taken into account it would result in a feedback loop thus rendering the argument irresolvable.

I'm actually surprised that you haven't taken into account the impact having a rich tea hand would have on the touching of ham.

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:42 pm

indeed. i foresee this quandary worrying the world's greatest philosophers for years to come

dubluke · Post by **dubluke** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:43 pm

maybe biscuit coated ham feels nice as well?

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:44 pm

dubluke wrote:maybe biscuit coated ham feels nice as well?

although i'm always to see ham being mentioned i fail to see it's relevance here luke

datura · Post by **datura** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:45 pm

Shonky wrote:I can't believe you're throwing around words like "evil" in the 21st century - haven't we moved on from this sort of discrimination yet?

morally ambiguous?

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:46 pm

datura wrote:
Shonky wrote:I can't believe you're throwing around words like "evil" in the 21st century - haven't we moved on from this sort of discrimination yet?
morally ambiguous?

say's mr i've got an evil monkey in my closet

datura · Post by **datura** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:57 pm

they are better than those little rat dogs all the celebs have

dubluke · Post by **dubluke** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:57 pm

badger wrote:
dubluke wrote:maybe biscuit coated ham feels nice as well?
although i'm always to see ham being mentioned i fail to see it's relevance here luke

well if you had a biscuit hand surely the ham would soon become biscuit coated after a few strokes - would this feel as good as standard ham?

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:04 pm

well for a start the moistness in the ham would probably start to soggify your biscuit which would be disastrous. secondly, i'm unsure of the physiology of biscuit hands but i'm not sure they would even be able to feel anything. what with it being made out biscuit and all

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:09 pm

badger wrote:i'm unsure of the physiology of biscuit hands but i'm not sure they would even be able to feel anything. what with it being made out biscuit and all

I think the physiology of a rich tea hand is a mystery to all of us Badger, however, I would be inclined to agree that there would be no nerve endings or any other human physiological features present. Only rich tea biscuit.

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:11 pm

is it just one rich tea hand and one normal one? if so you would still thankfully be able to touch ham with the normal hand, albeit it a reduced rate.

contakt · Post by **contakt** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:12 pm

badger wrote:is it just one rich tea hand and one normal one?

Yes.

badger · Post by **badger** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:14 pm

how fiendishly clever

thief · Post by **thief** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:14 pm

I don't really know what a rich tea biscuit is, but based on my prior experience of biscuits (i.e. they are delicious) I'd eat the hand and replace it with a sweet hook.

This would have the added advantage of letting me suspend hams within easy touching-distance throughout the curing process.

Rich Tea Dad or Evil Hand?

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