love

[djelements]

guilty..

hehehe its ok. i've been guilty of the other in my earlier days

but you're cool now

YOU HATED ME BACK THEN?

Yes. And no....we still can't have sex. But I got some nice coolin aloe you can use. Grip tight and pretend and don't forget to shut the light when you're done.

haha.

[djelements]

splendid like fungus infested maggot ridden drooping anal cumquat shit tnuc

Dude. Cumquats (regardless of the name) are ridonkulously good.

[thief]

It's BECAUSE of the name! KUMQUAT. Cyaan test! (actually a pretty shit fruit, but boy what a name).

[misk]

since when did the love thread become the sex thread?

[bellybelle]

since when did the love thread become the sex thread?

even though it tells on myself, i agree. back to the awesome power of love in all its incarnations..


found another one tonight in the ability to trust with pain. and the response was splendid as usual

[tempest]

I love escapism... and love probably just is another form of escaping the pooey reality of society, and all the other bollocks

[bellybelle]

I love escapism... and love probably just is another form of escaping the pooey reality of society, and all the other bollocks

oh no no no

Love is the purest reality. Everything else is just dressing up in its clothes and parading as if it were important.


yes.....i happen to be extremely happy and content, wrapped up in it.

[kamala]

How many times have I heard a woman go on and on about a guy she loves no matter how much he cheats on her, never spends time with her, treats her like crap and humiliates her in front of his friends? What she should be doing is realizing that no matter how much she loves him, he's not going to change, and if she loves herself, why would she even want to be in that situation?

this is absolutely valid thinking. however, when someone is abusive in a relationship (in my opinion lying, cheating, humiliation is a form of abuse) more often then not the 'victim' in the situation is slowly pecked at in subtle ways that most people tend to let slide or not even realize the damage it is causing, and by the time it is in full escalation they have sunk into a mindset of an abusive cycle. this means they believe on a subconscious level if nothing else that they are being treated this way because they have done something to earn it. people stick around in abusive situations because they are being abused, that means you internalize the horrible treatment and become self destructive, abusive towards yourself, lose your sense of worth, are fearful, sorrowful, and confused, trapped, even, and did i mention SCARED SHITLESS. It goes way deeper then simply loving yourself, the habits of abusive thinking become your driving force on many levels without you even being aware you're being abused, it goes deep, it fucks people up, and it's cyclical. abuse stems more abuse. this is not something that is easy to escape from, and if you do physically get away from it, you carry it with you every second of the day, in how you interpret things, in your behavior, in your emotional state, and in your interactions with other people. at that point it has nothing to do with love either way, and it has everything to do with deeply embedded fears that both parties are not even aware of being in operation. someone being abused CANT love themselves, they are being abused. it's fucking quicksand.

[kamala]

but that being said when you are suffering from abuse or otherwise it is your responsibility to trudge through it and pull yourself out of it no matter what the situation. this is just something you HAVE TO do. the second you realize you are being damaged in any way, like belle said, it's time to get out of there and nurture yourself. no matter how scary or painful it is to leave.

tempest your heart is broken now but it wont be forever. just feel the pain, its part of being human. with love, comes pain. one can not exist without the other. see if you can embrace it, use it for creative inspiration and self exploration. try and catch your negative cycles of thinking as they surface and then redirect your thinking. don't victimize yourself with the pain you feel! utilize it to progress in your life.

we are told in every religion and spiritual practice to treat others as you would have others treat you, but what about treating yourself as you would have others to treat you? if everyone else on the planet deserves to be treated with love, so do you. by them, and by yourself too.

FIGHT THE MENTAL QUICKSAND

[tempest]

Yeah word... ima sell all my belongings and move to portugal soon

[bellybelle]

How many times have I heard a woman go on and on about a guy she loves no matter how much he cheats on her, never spends time with her, treats her like crap and humiliates her in front of his friends? What she should be doing is realizing that no matter how much she loves him, he's not going to change, and if she loves herself, why would she even want to be in that situation?

this is absolutely valid thinking. however, when someone is abusive in a relationship (in my opinion lying, cheating, humiliation is a form of abuse) more often then not the 'victim' in the situation is slowly pecked at in subtle ways that most people tend to let slide or not even realize the damage it is causing, and by the time it is in full escalation they have sunk into a mindset of an abusive cycle. this means they believe on a subconscious level if nothing else that they are being treated this way because they have done something to earn it. people stick around in abusive situations because they are being abused, that means you internalize the horrible treatment and become self destructive, abusive towards yourself, lose your sense of worth, are fearful, sorrowful, and confused, trapped, even, and did i mention SCARED SHITLESS. It goes way deeper then simply loving yourself, the habits of abusive thinking become your driving force on many levels without you even being aware you're being abused, it goes deep, it fucks people up, and it's cyclical. abuse stems more abuse. this is not something that is easy to escape from, and if you do physically get away from it, you carry it with you every second of the day, in how you interpret things, in your behavior, in your emotional state, and in your interactions with other people. at that point it has nothing to do with love either way, and it has everything to do with deeply embedded fears that both parties are not even aware of being in operation. someone being abused CANT love themselves, they are being abused. it's fucking quicksand.

i dated someone a few years ago who hit me. on a regular. told me the most horrible things that i have ever heard come out of anyone's mouth. all conditioned from years with my mother who was extremely abusive. and i still say...

eventually you get tired of the ride.

and when i actually took inventory of my life, my directions, who i was, and realized accomplishments i've made, the things i liked about myself, and everything that was good about me, the fact that i've worked hard to be a good person and most of the times, i am....the fact that i applied myself to numerous tasks and have succeeded and surpassed...i couldn't ignore who i was. it helped to put all the things i did onto another person to see how i would feel about all of those things on someone else. then, when i realized that that person was me, it helped change my perspective.

i am not bound by obligation to anyone. and i won't allow toxicity in my life now. not because i don't know what i'm talking about. because i spent years crying and blaming myself for what was ultimately other peoples bullshit. i have seen some things and have had enough trauma in my life. and ultimately you have to come to a place where either you decide to get out or you sit there and die.

that moment is different for each person. but each person has an opportunity that is clear to them to save themselves. its not muddled. its crystal. and when it comes, you have to commit to it. for some, it can be taught. it wasn't like that for me. for me, it had to come at the end of years worth of being used and abused, soft and hard, by men before i got so tired of it that i took inventory and made necessary changes.

i can't tell anyone when they are tired enough. but most people get there at some point. and the only thing i always hope for people i see on that path is that they get well tired before death. thats all i can hope for....

a lot of people don't think it is an easy decision, and it isn't. i am not close to my entire family because of my desire for self-preservation. but.....if peace means that much to you....if every single day, you wake up tired of it, if you are tired enough of being used or being abused or being hurt or taken advantage, you will change. you will do it to survive. and so you can know that you beat this. at some point, apathy is outweighed by the necessity for peace.

not every abused woman stays. there are some who take their children and run. and what holds some back, even when they admire another, is the belief that they can't. but you can do all things in your life. you just need to need it more than you need to maintain your paralysis. when you're gasping for air, you will reach. its our natural human instinct.

[kamala]

Yeah word... ima sell all my belongings and move to portugal soon

thats not fighting, thats running away.

basically, you're feeling pain because you have been hurt. your hurt is valid and real. just accept it and ride it out. you can't escape from the hurt you feel no matter how hard you try or how far you run. the pain is there and it's real, you have been damaged. cry a lot then treat yourself to something nice. think of yourself as a child who has been traumatized then nurture yourself as you would that child. its not far from the truth, anyway.

i'm telling you this from experience. i've been BURNED. bad. but here i am, enjoying my life ..... i had love, i felt pain, it came it went, it comes back, it goes. it fades. thus is life.


edit: the PAIN fades. the love, however ... does not. it simply transforms

[parson]

you'll never hear me talkin bout

one day gettin out

why put a new address

on the same ol loneliness

[parson]

the PAIN fades. the love, however ... does not. it simply transforms

"Sorrow is nothing but worn out joy."

[echo wanderer]

you'll never hear me talkin bout

one day gettin out

why put a new address

on the same ol loneliness

Everybody knows where that is

We built that house of his

And when he's not home

Someone else you know always is


Man...I was so pissed off that Fall Out Boy ripped the lyrics off like 2-3 years later!

From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness

[parson]

MOTHERFUCK THOSE ASSHOLES

[nousd]

love keeps getting hijacked by sex here
just saying.....

[nesslei]

MOTHERFUCK THOSE ASSHOLES

why do you always have to take it to the gutter babe?

(valid suggestion, still.)

[blk plague]

love will tear us apart as stated by joy division. its a wastemans game either way blood.

[misk]

every morning i wake up to myself; I'm the most interesting person i know