love

theevilgirl · Post by **theevilgirl** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:14 pm

ive taken what youve all said into consideration and i even sought help outside of myself to help me with this issue i have....honestly if u were to meet me outside of here...you would never know i had an insecurity like this one...and i have done the buddhist thing where i try to find love and compassion for all...but...

when the balance is off....and constantly tilted to one side...its hard to lean over and level it out by myself....

sometimes u have to look outside urself...just like getting help with a problem...sometimes u are just not strong enough to solve the problem yourself...thats when you lean over and ask for help....THEN its up to u to help urself with the support of the person standing next to u.

we cant be completely selfish and say fuck it all...cuz then we are all alone....no need for anyone else... then whats the point?

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:02 pm

Love....reminds me of lovely head by goldfrapp

*RUNS TO AND LISTENS*

kamala · Post by **kamala** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:19 pm

honestly i don't think it's you. i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha

bellybelle · Post by **bellybelle** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:37 pm

kamala wrote:i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha

thats not entirely true. sorry but it isn't. i know several couples who are married before 30 and who stay together so i can't dismiss it as easily. The South is good for that perspective shift. Not always for other things....but I didn't know how much families actually do exist before I lived there. Men love. They can love deeply and fiercely as much as any woman. The success in love is more determinant on the players involved. Grounded, self-aware individuals tend to have better couplings because they're coupling from the perspective of true knowledge of self and compatibility with said self. Thats probably why marriages tend to last when begun later on in life. At that point, its being based on core value compatibility and less on temporal things such as appearance. When its based on real, it has a higher chance of succeeding.

its funny....when i was younger i had a more than a few superficial requirements like everyone does. but the older i get, the more important the person becomes--not what they can get me or what they look like. Can I trust him to have my best interest at heart? Can I trust him to respect me? Is he an honest man? Intelligent? Honorable? Moral? Can I respect him? I've started to see age on my body...I'm seeing it on men too... so when all that other stuff goes away, what then? I want to be in love with my partner every single day of our lives. Thats my goal. And I'm not so unique. By virtue of me knowing this about me, I know there are other people out there too who feel the same. So I don't lost hope. Come close more times than any of you really know or will ever know. But I'm still here. And I won't settle for anything less anymore.

If anyone wants to stay in it, I feel for them.....but thats all I can do. Just sucks when you can see ways to get out but you can't make anyone take them. Sometimes shrugging your shoulders and walking away is as equally painful as it is necessary.

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:48 pm

kamala wrote:honestly i don't think it's you. i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha

I agree! =) This post modern era keeps this on loop!

bellybelle · Post by **bellybelle** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:59 pm

Psyolopher wrote:
kamala wrote:honestly i don't think it's you. i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha
I agree! =) This post modern era keeps this on loop!

and that kinda mentality will manifest in self-fulfilling prophecy. smh...

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:02 pm

bellybelle wrote:
Psyolopher wrote:
kamala wrote:honestly i don't think it's you. i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha
I agree! =) This post modern era keeps this on loop!

and that kinda mentality will manifest in self-fulfilling prophecy. smh...

nope, im willing to love all who accepts it!
Even you sweetie!

bellybelle · Post by **bellybelle** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:05 pm

Psyolopher wrote:
bellybelle wrote:
Psyolopher wrote:
kamala wrote:honestly i don't think it's you. i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha
I agree! =) This post modern era keeps this on loop!

and that kinda mentality will manifest in self-fulfilling prophecy. smh...
nope, im willing to love all who accepts it!
Even you sweetie!

I got love covered, trust. Would be selfish of me to keep it all to myself so I don't. But...when people don't wanna hear it, I have no recourse but to walk off. When people are ready, they will come. But I'm not climbing off my cloud to keep anyone company, feel me?

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:08 pm

bellybelle wrote:
Psyolopher wrote:
bellybelle wrote:
Psyolopher wrote:
kamala wrote:honestly i don't think it's you. i think it's just our generation. very non-committal and emotionally cowardly. haha
I agree! =) This post modern era keeps this on loop!

and that kinda mentality will manifest in self-fulfilling prophecy. smh...
nope, im willing to love all who accepts it!
Even you sweetie!

I got love covered, trust. Would be selfish of me to keep it all to myself so I don't. But...when people don't wanna hear it, I have no recourse but to walk off. When people are ready, they will come. But I'm not climbing off my cloud to keep anyone company, feel me?

Yes yes, not everyday is a cloudy day!

kamala · Post by **kamala** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:26 pm

true there are plenty of people our age who are able to commit and be emotive, but a HUGE percentage who are not. you can't deny that. its not a prophecy, just an observation. i gots plenty of loves in my world

happiness doesn't hinge on romance

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:28 pm

kamala wrote:true there are plenty of people our age who are able to commit and be emotive, but a HUGE percentage who are not. you can't deny that. its not a prophecy, just an observation. i gots plenty of loves in my world

happiness doesn't hinge on romance

Again, so true! *Hugs*

theevilgirl · Post by **theevilgirl** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:40 pm

if u were single all ur life....then u could tell me about loneliness....and how romance can hinge ur happiness.

you have felt the ups and the downs...

and like was stated earlier...its a great high when youre in love...and im sure the comedown can be just as intense...

im willing to go through it...

better to have loved and lost for sure.

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:48 pm

It's always the risk you take, and its worth it!

bellybelle · Post by **bellybelle** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:02 pm

kamala wrote:true there are plenty of people our age who are able to commit and be emotive, but a HUGE percentage who are not. you can't deny that. its not a prophecy, just an observation.

50% of US marriages end in divorce. thats no majority. that's half. again....shift perspective on it. according to the numbers....there is just as huge a percentage that does.

TheEvilGirl wrote:if u were single all ur life....then u could tell me about loneliness....and how romance can hinge ur happiness.

you have felt the ups and the downs...

and like was stated earlier...its a great high when youre in love...and im sure the comedown can be just as intense...

im willing to go through it...

better to have loved and lost for sure.

We have to be careful to not dismiss someone else because, "They haven't been where I have." Just because someone else is not a 30 yr old black woman originally from NYC and who now lives in FL, it doesn't mean they're not saying something that could be of value to me. No one is ever going to live my life and I'm not going to live anyone elses. But....put it this way....

You watch a child get ready to put his hand on the stove. You know its going to burn him. You've been burned before. He prolly won't listen to you because you're not him and therefore invalid. Do you not warn him? Do you not say, "Hey stop that! You'll get hurt if you do!"? Again....there's only so much that can be said....if the kid is headstrong enough, he'll have to get burned badly enough to ingrain in his memory that touching hot stoves is bad. But....you've done your part in the warning. When you see that nothing short of a scar will make him remember, all you can do is hope its not that bad.

Thats the part about caring about other people that sucks. Because as much as you wanna help, you have to realize that sometimes people either don't want to get help or think they're powerless to fight. And no matter how much you see different, they're the only ones who need to believe it. You see other people saying things you've said before.....you remember how bad everything felt....but thats all you can do. If you could make them feel it, maybe that would work. Unf until then, people being hurt repeatedly seems to be the only tried and true method. It sucks: to be in and to watch it happen to someone else once you've gotten out. But what else can you do?

Walk away. That's really the only option.

kamala · Post by **kamala** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:06 pm

i just think that there is a good balance between negative and positive experiences and feelings on ones world. it's up to you what you make of these things. circumstances are circumstances, we can place meaning into them or we can accept them as such and continue on in our lives without inflicting damage on our own hearts. the latter feels better but the former does have a nice artsy angst to it

edit: apparently im dislecix

theevilgirl · Post by **theevilgirl** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:13 pm

I wrote this last year....in one of my blogs:

am i the lucky one?

ately....well....always....but more specifically, recently....i have come across so many people....that bare their hearts and souls to someone they consider significant, and then trample, or are trampled....and i mean...there is nothing wrong with trial and error....but when i see the people around me....find the error...and yet they continue to suffer....am i the lucky one?

i have yet to be in a relationship worth substance. i have never bore my heart to any man fully....i havent shared my soul and my body to a person i respect and love to see that they in fact....love me back.... i havent yet held a mans hand to feel his warmth against my skin....and feel his pulse beating with mine....never felt his breath on my cheek....a true kiss on the lips.... to see depth in his eyes....i havent had a man tell me he loves me....and mean it...the way i want him to mean it.
but then again....
i havent felt the heart ache of finding that man with another woman.... tell me things mainly to make me feel good....or bad....or to look into his eyes...only to realize, that everything he says is nothing but a lie.....i have never had the head ache of untrustworthy-ness, and disrespect....i have never had to sell myself to someone....who didnt truly want to buy me.

so which side of this unbalanced fence do i jump?....

on which side is the grass greener?

i think ill just have a seat....and see where i land.

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:23 pm

not a good metafor if ya ask me!

theevilgirl · Post by **theevilgirl** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:26 pm

*shrugs*

MissBrass · Post by **MissBrass** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:51 am

IS A GAME FOR FUCKING FOOLS

psyolopher · Post by **psyolopher** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:48 pm

missbrass wrote:IS A GAME FOR FUCKING FOOLS

.....

love

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