CARE

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:21 am

cal wrote:Come on Wiggles! Tell us what went down

Probably not him, the little pussyclot.

miscreant · Post by **miscreant** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:32 am

and the award to the most vaginaphobic forum member goes to.......

The wigle baron for his 7 page thread on how to not get pussy and alienate yourself...

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:44 am

MiscreanT wrote:and the award to the most vaginaphobic forum member goes to.......

The wigle baron for his 7 page thread on how to not get pussy and alienate yourself...

Exactly. I'm betting he's looking for a publisher for his "101 great ways to cock-block yourself" book as we speak.

magma · Post by **magma** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:47 am

I'm starting to think that the Turkish woman is actually The Wiggle Baron's Tyler Durden.

Does she look like Brad Pitt?

Does it hurt your own mouth when she sips slightly-too-hot tea?

Pi-Krust · Post by **Pi-Krust** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:21 am

Come On!

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:32 am

lol, firstly that is actually mental magma. Turkish woman did sip too hot tea last night, and I even saw her about to do it...but didnt mention it...and...whatever, it was a point that was brought up lol

And my bad...I forgot to actually post what id written before:

Erm, not far wrong LEQ...

Basically, my plan was to knock on her door and give her some notes I said id drop round at some point, then ask her if she wanted to come out for a stroll and get my speech on. Spent the obligatory half hour before hand pacing up and down her street trying to sort my head out, before I finally got the courage to knock. Get up to her house, and pretty much what are the fucking chances, she's in the kitchen with the girl I live with lol. However, the girl I live with is very much in on all this, and has previously suggested a "mind leaving us alone quickly?" code word "peanut butter"

. So I figured id ask Luke to drop her a quick phone call saying Chris is outside Aurias...and was wondering if you'd like some peanut butter or something. Anyhoo, while I was speaking to luke, the girl I live with, Auria and the Turkish girl all came out the front door and started walking off somewhere. I was pretty much just like "fucks sake", psyched myself down again and gave up and started walking home, before getting a phone call from the girl I live with saying that she's now off back to ours, and Auria is heading home.

So. I head back up to Aurias to find her in the kitchen eating dinner with the Turkish woman. So (and I dont think this is weird

I just wanted Turkish woman to go to bed) I paced up and down the street again waiting for them to stop eating, so I could quickly knock on, say hello to them both and see if Auria wanted to come for a stroll? etc.

Eventually they finish eating and start sorting out going to bed etc. So I figured fuck it. I could only see Auria in the kitchen, and I went for it and knocked on. I give her the notes, ask her if she wanted to come for a wee walk...and before she got the chance to answer, Turkish woman had fully nicely invited me in for a cup of tea, and was putting a kettle on etc...I was like ffs, and did actually say again "nooo, I was really just seeing if Auria wanted to come for a walk?" but no lol

So yeah, a 2 hour conversation where I couldn't actually believe Turkish woman didn't go to bed later and it was time to head home

...Once again, im going to try again tonight. She's coming round here in the evening, and I always walk her home, so yeah...gonna drop it then.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO PSYCH MYSELF UP THOUGH?!!!

deamonds · Post by **deamonds** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:45 am

you need to tell that turkish bird to fuck off before she gets the kettle poured over her head, in turkish, so the pretty girl cant understand...unless she is turkish, in that case screwing.

kins83 · Post by **kins83** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:48 am

Turkish bird sounds annoying.

deamonds · Post by **deamonds** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:49 am

Sorry, explain to me again why you never smashed her back doors in the 1st time around??

SK3W3R · Post by **SK3W3R** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:51 am

i think the turkish woman wants you for herself
ifyouget with auria, theres gonna be some serious jealousy warz

Jak The lad · Post by **Jak The lad** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:53 am

So your looking in their window.... watching them eat....

Let's hope the police don't get called

haha.

Let's just hope the chase it worth it in the end. Sounds fun though lol.

spooKs · Post by **spooKs** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:56 am

deamonds wrote:you need to tell that turkish bird to fuck off before she gets the kettle poured over her head, in turkish, so the pretty girl cant understand...unless she is turkish, in that case screwing.

at first i thought you meant somehow "pour the kettle over her head in turkish so it doesnt get noticed" but no, that's a good plan actually.

miscreant · Post by **miscreant** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:00 am

You really have let this get out of control man. The best lesson i ever learned in pulling birds was to just go for it - girls dont actually like the shy nervous act - its not sweet, its not cute, its the way all their guy 'friends' acted with them which is partly why they never got their hole. What they want is a guy whose gona turn up at their door with a semi, grab them by the hips and say ''I have fancied you for fucking ages now and every time i have gone to do something about it i've shat out of it at the last minute, i've been on the whiskey tonight which is why i've got the balls to do this, i get the feeling you quite like me and i hope i'm right because i think you are absolutely fucking gorgeous so i suppose what i'm asking is would you like to come over to mine tonight for....' (insert whatever you think may attract her to yours other than a fat sweaty cock).

Explain that the last 2 times you've been over it was to try and tell her this but that fucking turk ruined it for you. Try and get a definite answer from her as to whether its happening or not, cos otherwise its gona eat you up and this thread will begin getting ridiculous.

If it all goes tits up just remember - nothing bad ever last forever, you'll feel shit for a week or two then start prowling after some other wee fitty, theres plenty more fish in the sea and theres plenty more slags in the street....

deamonds · Post by **deamonds** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:02 am

miscreanT you put it so beautifully, its like love story or sum shit

did · Post by **did** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:03 am

mate, fuck the turk do it in front of her.

BALLS!

spooKs · Post by **spooKs** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:05 am

TROOF

cal · Post by **cal** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:06 am

The turkish cockblocks should have been dodged Wiggles. I can only imagine she makes some pretty godlike tea if you go for that instead.

It does make for an entertaining read tho

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:07 am

Even though I only get the confidence when I'm mashed, my theory is that if 1 in 10 girls say yes, you're fucking laughing. Nothing to lose.

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:10 am

lol, you truly are the modern day Byron miscreant.

edit: Oh, and I got to say things have changed somewhat since the beginning of this thread. Can't say im drawing for the quick through ball in this one, im building it up from the back and going for the long play...Dunno want to lose posession like, as I don't think ive ever played a team that I seem to...

...

Ah fuck it, I dont even like football...I can't break out an analogy. Anyone care to give it a go in the sport of their choice?

fork · Post by **fork** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:16 am

This thread is a brilliant read. Better than Hollyoaks. Hope things all go your way.

CARE

Who is online