Music Theory for Computer Musicians
Composition for Computer Musicians
Harmony for Computer Musicians
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How to Make a Noise
Becoming a Synthesizer Wizard
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Sound FX - Unlocking the Creative potential of recording studio effects
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Computer Music (Subscribe, its cheaper)
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Read these.
It's hard coming in to a thread like this because you want to say so much but its impossible to actually say what you want to. If i could somehow impart all the knowledge I've gained over the years of producing I would. But it's not possible.
Yes you need to learn Synthesis and Music Theory, all of it, extremely intimately, you need to pick your synths/instruments/samplers/daw(s) and learn them intimately. You need to go through a slow and gradual transformation of someone just starting out with a passion and zest for production, into a very well learned, seasoned and capable music producer having had years of practice and dedication to the subject. The only way to do that is to actually dedicate yourself utterly to your love.
You need to make lots of shit tunes now and STOP getting annoyed that you're making shit tunes. KNOW YOUR PLACE, learn, teach yourself, stop trying to 'make polished tracks' because you can't and won't be able to for a very very long time, understand this fact, right now. Stop comparing yourself to the music you love, because you are not one of those producers, you are you. remove any perception you have of what you want to sound like or where you want to go and dive in to the world of sound and sound creation, your love for music should be the love of the music, not the idealism of where you will be in life, 'making good music' and 'djing' your music in clubs, its a reflection of egotism, it seems more like you love the 'idea' of making the music you love.
Take the zest you have and remove the angst and impatience. Get humble, really humble, set yourself out for the long haul, accept that if you want ANYTHING out of this passion its going to have to become your Raison d'être for the rest of your life. You are going to have to change who you are, develop who you are and what you do in life and focus a hell of a lot of it around the wonderful nature of sound and sonic manipulation, composition, tonality, harmony, texture, timbre, psychoacoustics and the rest until you're so knowledgeable of it all that creating amazing music comes naturally to you, you can't be that person until you go through the process, its impossible, geniuses aren't born, they are made. If you love music this much you need to nurture that, develop the depth and breadth of your love of music and become a conduit for your inspirations.
This takes time and dedication. Accept this, utterly, either take the journey or don't. The point is you're going to have to put in a decade until you're even close to getting to where you want to be.