Bouncers

[sigbowls]

i thought the thread title said Boners

[grimesceneinvestigation]

bouncers are all meat and muscles even where there's supposed to be braincells.

seriously, i have only met 2 descent FRIENDLY bouncers in my life where i didn't expect them.
there's this club that's considered pretty "chavy" in Belgium but a friend of my sister's ex was winning some dj contests and we ended up there for a final.
the bouncers were seriously some of the friendliest dudes i've come across in my life, really made my night.

as where last new year i ended up at the police station trying to charge some other bouncers for racism.
(how ironic is it hiring "intimidating" black bouncers to keep out all that's not 100% white?)

[Dead Rats]

I remember going to Bangface dressed as a rat recently, and the bouncer was like "Uhh...I've never searched a ...a...teddy bear before...what are you? Uh, just go on through."

That was great. Especially since I had loads of pills in my pocket.

[therapist]

I remember going to Bangface dressed as a rat recently, and the bouncer was like "Uhh...I've never searched a ...a...teddy bear before...what are you? Uh, just go on through."

That was great. Especially since I had loads of pills in my pocket.

He liked you, I like you, I think everybody likes you.

[firky]

One wouldn't let me in because he said I had punched a girl, my mate laughed at that and I asked why the police haven't been called. He told me to fuck off before I got hurt, so we went to another bar and came back an hour later where he let me in without even recognising either of us.

They just get bored I guess.

[firky]

One wouldn't let me in because he said I had punched a girl, my mate laughed at that and I asked why the police haven't been called. He told me to fuck off before I got hurt, so we went to another bar and came back an hour later where he let me in without even recognising either of us.

They just get bored I guess.

Had more shit off police tbh.

[Dead Rats]

I remember going to Bangface dressed as a rat recently, and the bouncer was like "Uhh...I've never searched a ...a...teddy bear before...what are you? Uh, just go on through."

That was great. Especially since I had loads of pills in my pocket.

He liked you, I like you, I think everybody likes you.

My own mother doesn't, that's got to count for at least minus 1 billion people for sure.

[abelard]

been kicked out a place for sniffing in the toilets, met the same bouncer in a different pub a week later and he said he'd really enjoyed the gear and next time if we had good stuff we could go and do it in the back with him but just not to be bait about things or he'd have to chuck us out. never saw him there again though.

[slothrop]

Big. BIG. Monkey Man.

[prblmslvrs]

Been thrown out of a club before from 3 boys noising me up, didn't do anything to provoke it nor did I even entertain arguing with them, just ignored them, bouncers came over and threw me and one of the other boys out. Needless to say once we were both outside his mouth shut sharpish!

Glasgow is the fucking worst though. Been halfway up the stairs to a club when a bouncer shouts at my mate "Here, Have you washed your hands??". His reply was just "Eh, What are you talking about?" Thrown out. Another time we had just got into the ABC, standing in the queue for the cloakroom, bouncer just comes up and drags my mate out. Asking him what the fuck he was doing he would only reply "He's out of here." and "Not tonight." We can't think of any reason of why he would have been thrown out. Had just paid £7 to get in to leave straight away. Absolute bastards.

[therapist]

I remember going to Bangface dressed as a rat recently, and the bouncer was like "Uhh...I've never searched a ...a...teddy bear before...what are you? Uh, just go on through."

That was great. Especially since I had loads of pills in my pocket.

He liked you, I like you, I think everybody likes you.

My own mother doesn't, that's got to count for at least minus 1 billion people for sure.

My only criticism of you as a human is that you don't know how to take a compliment.

[AnalGangstaHo]

[ben freeman]

True story.

Was drinking heavily all night, went to a club, was talking shit about the club in line, paid 8 bucks, then when I walked in, 2 bouncers grabbed me and kicked me out from the side door. I screamed and yelled at them, yelling every obsenity I could think of. They chased me down the alley, and I made it across the street. Then I stood across the street yelling at the top of my lungs for them all to fuck off for like five minutes, while grabbing my crotch and doing power moves. My friend who didn't even make it in was pissing in a bottle. He filled it up to the top and said " hey take this." I grabbed the bottle and threw it across the street and it landed right in the front door spraying everyone in line and the bouncers in an explosion of piss. I ran with my 3 friends and after I thought I was safe, I got tackled by some vigilate who was apparently standing behind me the whole time. We traded blows but he managed to hammer my head into a wall, and I was bleeding everywhere. He was trying to drag me back to the club. Luckily my friends showed up and we cornered him and he ran off.

[ben freeman]

True story.

Was drinking heavily all night, went to a club, was talking shit about the club in line, paid 8 bucks, then when I walked in, 2 bouncers grabbed me and kicked me out from the side door. I screamed and yelled at them, yelling every obsenity I could think of. They chased me down the alley, and I made it across the street. Then I stood across the street yelling at the top of my lungs for them all to fuck off for like five minutes, while grabbing my crotch and doing power moves. My friend who didn't even make it in was pissing in a bottle. He filled it up to the top and said " hey take this." I grabbed the bottle and threw it across the street and it landed right in the front door spraying everyone in line and the bouncers in an explosion of piss. I ran with my 3 friends and after I thought I was safe, I got tackled by some vigilate who was apparently standing behind me the whole time. We traded blows but he managed to hammer my head into a wall, and I was bleeding everywhere. He was trying to drag me back to the club. Luckily my friends showed up and we cornered him and he ran off.

[isiahfire]

True story.

Was drinking heavily all night, went to a club, was talking shit about the club in line, paid 8 bucks, then when I walked in, 2 bouncers grabbed me and kicked me out from the side door. I screamed and yelled at them, yelling every obsenity I could think of. They chased me down the alley, and I made it across the street. Then I stood across the street yelling at the top of my lungs for them all to fuck off for like five minutes, while grabbing my crotch and doing power moves. My friend who didn't even make it in was pissing in a bottle. He filled it up to the top and said " hey take this." I grabbed the bottle and threw it across the street and it landed right in the front door spraying everyone in line and the bouncers in an explosion of piss. I ran with my 3 friends and after I thought I was safe, I got tackled by some vigilate who was apparently standing behind me the whole time. We traded blows but he managed to hammer my head into a wall, and I was bleeding everywhere. He was trying to drag me back to the club. Luckily my friends showed up and we cornered him and he ran off.

Wow.

[brasco]

True story.

Was drinking heavily all night, went to a club, was talking shit about the club in line, paid 8 bucks, then when I walked in, 2 bouncers grabbed me and kicked me out from the side door. I screamed and yelled at them, yelling every obsenity I could think of. They chased me down the alley, and I made it across the street. Then I stood across the street yelling at the top of my lungs for them all to fuck off for like five minutes, while grabbing my crotch and doing power moves. My friend who didn't even make it in was pissing in a bottle. He filled it up to the top and said " hey take this." I grabbed the bottle and threw it across the street and it landed right in the front door spraying everyone in line and the bouncers in an explosion of piss. I ran with my 3 friends and after I thought I was safe, I got tackled by some vigilate who was apparently standing behind me the whole time. We traded blows but he managed to hammer my head into a wall, and I was bleeding everywhere. He was trying to drag me back to the club. Luckily my friends showed up and we cornered him and he ran off.

[isiahfire]

Just found out that my girlfriend got one of her thumbs broken and was kicked several times in the back by a bouncer in Liverpool last night for sitting down at the side of a stage last night. I honestly can fully say I understand why people want to go back with knives/guns, I feel so fucking futile, never been so vexed in my entire life.

[faust.dtc]

A lot of them seem to have egos bigger than their steroid shrivled dick.

I know one who was exactly that same until someone shot him...

[Jak The lad]

True story.

Was drinking heavily all night, went to a club, was talking shit about the club in line, paid 8 bucks, then when I walked in, 2 bouncers grabbed me and kicked me out from the side door. I screamed and yelled at them, yelling every obsenity I could think of. They chased me down the alley, and I made it across the street. Then I stood across the street yelling at the top of my lungs for them all to fuck off for like five minutes, while grabbing my crotch and doing power moves. My friend who didn't even make it in was pissing in a bottle. He filled it up to the top and said " hey take this." I grabbed the bottle and threw it across the street and it landed right in the front door spraying everyone in line and the bouncers in an explosion of piss. I ran with my 3 friends and after I thought I was safe, I got tackled by some vigilate who was apparently standing behind me the whole time. We traded blows but he managed to hammer my head into a wall, and I was bleeding everywhere. He was trying to drag me back to the club. Luckily my friends showed up and we cornered him and he ran off.

oh garsh

[noam]

if anyone here from Manc knows 5th Ave you'll know the bouncers are grade a stnuc.

my friend bottled one in his shiny bald head. i advocate this.