God's Biggest Dick Moves In The Old Testament

Genevieve · Post by **Genevieve** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:38 am

Didn't God get someone to eat his own shit in the Bible too? That's some next level badassery right there. That puts him up there with the creator of 2girls1cup.

Why aren't we worshiping Jacob? God wrestled him, dislocated his fucking hip and still lost to him. Why would I worship God if I could worship the guy who could probably beat God in a arm wrestling match using his floppy dick?

DiegoSapiens · Post by **DiegoSapiens** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:46 am

Genevieve wrote:Didn't God get someone to eat his own shit in the Bible too? That's some next level badassery right there. That puts him up there with the creator of 2girls1cup.

Why aren't we worshiping Jacob? God wrestled him, dislocated his fucking hip and still lost to him. Why would I worship God if I could worship the guy who could probably beat God in a arm wrestling match using his floppy dick?

Mr Bouma...

DiegoSapiens wrote:http://www.libertariannews.org/2012/09/ ... ay-tablet/

Genevieve · Post by **Genevieve** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:50 am

DiegoSapiens wrote:
Genevieve wrote:Didn't God get someone to eat his own shit in the Bible too? That's some next level badassery right there. That puts him up there with the creator of 2girls1cup.

Why aren't we worshiping Jacob? God wrestled him, dislocated his fucking hip and still lost to him. Why would I worship God if I could worship the guy who could probably beat God in a arm wrestling match using his floppy dick?
Mr Bouma...
DiegoSapiens wrote:http://www.libertariannews.org/2012/09/ ... ay-tablet/

It's even on an austro-libertarian website? There's no excuse for me to have missed this

nobody · Post by **nobody** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:54 am

haha

Bouma

Bummer

Muncey · Post by **Muncey** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:15 pm

Old Testament God is my 2nd favourite fictional character after Minotaur.

SignalRecon · Post by **SignalRecon** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:52 pm

10) Trying to Wrestle a Guy, Cheating, and Still Losing

is the best one by far.. also because this very situation has happened to me before which adds more weight to my on-going argument with most people in my "life" that i'm an omnipotent/omniscient being (which non of you can prove im fucking not).

ultraspatial · Post by **ultraspatial** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:18 pm

hmmm rethinking my apatheism. god sounds cool, apart from #10 that's lame

OGLemon · Post by **OGLemon** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:20 pm

SignalRecon wrote:I'm an omnipotent/omniscient being (which non of you can prove im fucking not).

lol wut

SignalRecon · Post by **SignalRecon** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:20 am

OGLemon wrote:
SignalRecon wrote:I'm an omnipotent/omniscient being (which non of you can prove im fucking not).
lol wut

*none

OGLemon · Post by **OGLemon** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:37 am

ah thanks for clearing that up

wolf89 · Post by **wolf89** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:39 am

So god has multiple penises then? And his biggest one is stationary for the duration of the new testament?

OGLemon · Post by **OGLemon** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:48 am

test_recordings · Post by **test_recordings** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:19 am

I bet most 'believers' would not believe you if you pointed these tenets

rickyarbino · Post by **rickyarbino** » Sun Mar 30, 2014 6:14 pm

SignalRecon wrote:10) Trying to Wrestle a Guy, Cheating, and Still Losing

is the best one by far.. also because this very situation has happened to me before which adds more weight to my on-going argument with most people in my "life" that i'm an omnipotent/omniscient being (which non of you can prove im fucking not).

That's just it, nobody has to prove that you aren't. When you make an illogically founded statement with little to no relevance to 'reality' people can merely dismiss it until you provide evidence. Even the pythagorean theorem would've looked stupid without proof.

SignalRecon · Post by **SignalRecon** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:37 pm

jesslem wrote: That's just it, nobody has to prove that you aren't. When you make an illogically founded statement with little to no relevance to 'reality' people can merely dismiss it until you provide evidence. Even the pythagorean theorem would've looked stupid without proof.

Not bragging but i sort of already knew you were going to say that bud..

SignalRecon wrote:omniscient

and if you knew anything about religion, various deities or street magic you would know I don't need to prove anything.. Thomas Joseph of the mormons and his tablet "in hat" God is mad dont look thing worked for that entire religion and Chris Angel doesn't answer to anyone
(I'm a jealous egotistical Omnipotent being highly concerned with political machinations of a handful of countries on this particular planet and I demand blind faith/pics of your gf or gtfo)

rickyarbino · Post by **rickyarbino** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:49 pm

No, that's the point. I know what those words mean, and I'm challenging you on the same grounds that people challenge other religious beliefs. The fact that you're able to say something doesn't make it true lol. That is the whole argument between theists and atheists.
You probably couldn't even guess the color of my wallet, let alone steal it from my pocket through the computer.
Omniscient? No...
Omnipotent? No...

DiegoSapiens · Post by **DiegoSapiens** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:50 pm

Ban? Yes...

rickyarbino · Post by **rickyarbino** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 3:54 pm

No need. I'll just foe him. I seriously can't handle half the shit he comes out with tbh.

SignalRecon · Post by **SignalRecon** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:01 pm

jesslem wrote:No, that's the point. I know what those words mean, and I'm challenging you on the same grounds that people challenge other religious beliefs. The fact that you're able to say something doesn't make it true lol. That is the whole argument between theists and atheists.
You probably couldn't even guess the color of my wallet, let alone steal it from my pocket through the computer.
Omniscient? No...
Omnipotent? No...

Knew you would say that as well bud.

jesslem wrote: Omniscient? No...

Chris Angel

jesslem wrote: Omnipotent? No...

Chris Angel

DiegoSapiens wrote:Ban? Yes...

Chris Angel

m8son666 · Post by **m8son666** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:04 pm

what animal am i thinking of signalgaycon?

God's Biggest Dick Moves In The Old Testament

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