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miscreant · Post by **miscreant** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:31 am

DID wrote:Will she be as keen when i tell her 90% of your life revolves around a public forum?

profound · Post by **profound** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:57 am

lmfao

a of dkr · Post by **a of dkr** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 1:02 pm

Firky wrote:If she's keen she'll try again and probably think that was quite sweet albeit naive of you. So you could end up getting your dick wet in the not so distant future.

not really, she most probably thought you don't like her and her pride is most likely a bit bruised, so I don't expect her to try again unless you somehow make her feel better about it.
at least that's how most girls are IMgirlO.

apathesis · Post by **apathesis** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 1:45 pm

Dealing with pretty ladies when baked always leads to you realising like 15 better options afterwards

vision · Post by **vision** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:26 pm

wow you dick must hate you

tuck · Post by **tuck** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:32 pm

Bad luck mate. You pissed on your chips there. I'll be requiring your Church of Ham ID card. Leave your testicles by the door on your way out

kins83 · Post by **kins83** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:48 pm

I'm fucking useless too. We should team up and go out on the pull mate.

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:08 pm

kins83 wrote:I'm fucking useless too. We should team up and go out on the pull mate.

lol, despite that sounding like the set up to one of the best shit stoner comedies I think I would have ever seen...I think its all bless this end! Nothing like a half hour discussion on the potential causes of diarrhoea to make that magic happen

Going to see if shes up for coming to see Pinch in Cardiff friday night...got to be a deal maker/breaker right there lol

And OI DID you son of a bitch

may have a horrendously large number of posts...but this aint no bait dubluke 40 a day business

3.17 or gtfo.

skevin · Post by **skevin** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:19 pm

Hah, we've all been there.

I remember going on a date with some girl, she was hot but I kinda knew conversation was gonna be tough as thinking about it now, she was probably just humouring me with the date.
So I got fucking stoned, went to a restaurant in the middle of no where which I couldn't find, failed at starting any type of conversation and spent a total of 5 minutes talking, got smashed off 2 bottles of wine, got her to drive me home and still tried to grope her.
I then had a cry when she said it wasnt gonna work out. WIN WIN WIN.

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:03 pm

SKevin wrote:Hah, we've all been there.

I remember going on a date with some girl, she was hot but I kinda knew conversation was gonna be tough as thinking about it now, she was probably just humouring me with the date.
So I got fucking stoned, went to a restaurant in the middle of no where which I couldn't find, failed at starting any type of conversation and spent a total of 5 minutes talking, got smashed off 2 bottles of wine, got her to drive me home and still tried to grope her.
I then had a cry when she said it wasnt gonna work out. WIN WIN WIN.

Haha! Yes, mate. The kind of failures that make boys men.

Wanna here about the time I got a handjob on a train, couldn't reach success, so instead quickly sprinted off at the next stop leaving my current bird with a look of shock on her face on the train?

Coppola · Post by **Coppola** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:09 pm

Dead Rats wrote:
SKevin wrote:Hah, we've all been there.

I remember going on a date with some girl, she was hot but I kinda knew conversation was gonna be tough as thinking about it now, she was probably just humouring me with the date.
So I got fucking stoned, went to a restaurant in the middle of no where which I couldn't find, failed at starting any type of conversation and spent a total of 5 minutes talking, got smashed off 2 bottles of wine, got her to drive me home and still tried to grope her.
I then had a cry when she said it wasnt gonna work out. WIN WIN WIN.
Haha! Yes, mate. The kind of failures that make boys men.

Wanna here about the time I got a handjob on a train, couldn't reach success, so instead quickly sprinted off at the next stop leaving my current bird with a look of shock on her face on the train?

expand

Pi-Krust · Post by **Pi-Krust** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:11 pm

BEN? wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
SKevin wrote:Hah, we've all been there.

I remember going on a date with some girl, she was hot but I kinda knew conversation was gonna be tough as thinking about it now, she was probably just humouring me with the date.
So I got fucking stoned, went to a restaurant in the middle of no where which I couldn't find, failed at starting any type of conversation and spent a total of 5 minutes talking, got smashed off 2 bottles of wine, got her to drive me home and still tried to grope her.
I then had a cry when she said it wasnt gonna work out. WIN WIN WIN.
Haha! Yes, mate. The kind of failures that make boys men.

Wanna here about the time I got a handjob on a train, couldn't reach success, so instead quickly sprinted off at the next stop leaving my current bird with a look of shock on her face on the train?
expand

erm I think that was his problem

HamCrescendo · Post by **HamCrescendo** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:17 pm

At Reading festival, a girl climbed into my tent, and I forgot she was in there. A few hours later I got in to get some sleep, saw her in there, but was too fucked and told her to get out because I needed to sleep.

Needless to say, I didnt get any sleep, but I did need a misery wank. "What a tnuc."

Girls only tend to approach me when I'm acting like a drunken arsehole.

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:19 pm

bassmonk wrote:
BEN? wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
SKevin wrote:Hah, we've all been there.

I remember going on a date with some girl, she was hot but I kinda knew conversation was gonna be tough as thinking about it now, she was probably just humouring me with the date.
So I got fucking stoned, went to a restaurant in the middle of no where which I couldn't find, failed at starting any type of conversation and spent a total of 5 minutes talking, got smashed off 2 bottles of wine, got her to drive me home and still tried to grope her.
I then had a cry when she said it wasnt gonna work out. WIN WIN WIN.
Haha! Yes, mate. The kind of failures that make boys men.

Wanna here about the time I got a handjob on a train, couldn't reach success, so instead quickly sprinted off at the next stop leaving my current bird with a look of shock on her face on the train?
expand
erm I think that was his problem

Yep.

Well, this girl is the reason I'm not particularly fond of blowjobs. We were coming back from Epping late at night on the train from some shitty indie gig, when I decided to get my cock out. She gave me a handjob at first, which was fine, but then tried it with her mouth, and was absolutely terrible at it. I mean, fucking AWFUL. My cock was bleeding from her teeth, and she sucked way too much rather than blew. And she tried to variate, which just does not work.

Eventually, after about 10 minutes of this, I decided I couldn't humour her no longer, so I suddenly jumped off the train at the next stop. She kind of sat there, staring at me through the window as if to say "What?", but I just walked in my agony down the down the stairs as the train was pulling off, ordered a cab, and went home. And that's the end of that story.

And my relationship with her.

skevin · Post by **skevin** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:26 pm

That's actually quite a sad story

But saying that i love these types of stories, at the time its the most painful awkward thing in the world, but looking back its normally pretty fucking hilarious!

the wiggle baron · Post by **the wiggle baron** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:47 pm

lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:49 pm

The Wiggle Baron wrote:lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there

Funny thing is, I'm not really a good-looking bastard, and am quite picky about women, and am generally a fucking prick, but everytime I do get it on with a bird, I often fuck it up for...well, basically a laugh. I don't understand it.

skevin · Post by **skevin** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:26 pm

Dead Rats wrote:
The Wiggle Baron wrote:lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there
Funny thing is, I'm not really a good-looking bastard, and am quite picky about women, and am generally a fucking prick, but everytime I do get it on with a bird, I often fuck it up for...well, basically a laugh. I don't understand it.

I feel for ya, I really do. But that story, man, nothing upsets me more that a poor blowjob on a train :/

Thankfully i've got a lovely other half, been with her for over 2 years now, but I think she's starting to get tired of my constant pissing around. and generally being a bit of a dick.

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:30 pm

SKevin wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
The Wiggle Baron wrote:lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there
Funny thing is, I'm not really a good-looking bastard, and am quite picky about women, and am generally a fucking prick, but everytime I do get it on with a bird, I often fuck it up for...well, basically a laugh. I don't understand it.
I feel for ya, I really do. But that story, man, nothing upsets me more that a poor blowjob on a train :/

Thankfully i've got a lovely other half, been with her for over 2 years now, but I think she's starting to get tired of my constant pissing around. and generally being a bit of a dick.

Longest I've ever spent with a bird is about 10 months...:'(

djelements · Post by **djelements** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:30 pm

Dead Rats wrote:
The Wiggle Baron wrote:lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there
Funny thing is, I'm not really a good-looking bastard, and am quite picky about women, and am generally a fucking prick, but everytime I do get it on with a bird, I often fuck it up for...well, basically a laugh. I don't understand it.

It's like you're me, but gayer!

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