The things that pissed you off today ™ thread

[legend4ry]

Just nights where you 'have' to dress up remind me of... Either silly chavs going to venues what play the radio1 play list or pretentious uni students who think they're "WELL FUNNY"

corrrr boils my bones!!

[HamCrescendo]

That fucking popped-collar toff who says "I'd probably start a revolution" on that T-mobile advert

Complete fucking tnuc, like most people in those adverts.

[fuagofire]

middle class socialist types, who complain about C02 and how we should all be green but seem to think they have to be an exception and fly off to the other side of the world to find themselves right after fucking around like bonobo's to recreate there own personal 1960's.

[fretn]

Friend of mine got involved in a fight yesterday, it was his birthday, he was completely innocent. They punched him on his face several times, i quikly ran over to him, had a punch in the face, but it didn't hurt (was too drunk for that ). Then a relative of mine ran over to us with a big beer glass and slammed it on the attackers head, it turns out the guy was brought to the e.r.! But at least he had his share.
now it's almost afternoon and i've got a huge hangover

[pikeymobile]

Just bought a laughing gas machine and 360 canisters, but I was meant to buy 96. Helly bank charges galore

[BNanni]

Ex fella texts me this morning asking for his stuff back, yeah he can have it, I dont really want his shit taking up space in the bottom of my drawers much longer, its been 5 months as it is
But when I ask for my grinder back I get the reply 'I gave it to someone else', RAGE.
Dont be giving my stuff to other people no matter how small it is!
I kept your shitty broken headphones when I could have easily thrown them away.

[Dead Rats]

Dropped my phone down the shitter.

[BNanni]

Dropped my phone down the shitter.

Was there any contents from your bowels in the toilet at the time?

[Dead Rats]

Yep, my poo, wee and wank.

Okay, the last part was a lie, but it still doesn't make the situation any less depressing. I had to put my hands in there and fish that sucker out, all the time feeling small chunks of bum candy pattering against my delicate fingers.

Was halfway through texting my bird as well. Just had to ring her up from the work phone and leave the message "I dropped my phone down the toilet, there's now poo in it. Ring me back."

[BNanni]

That made me laugh and feel very sick at the same time.
Is the phone broken now or still working?

[magma]

I had to put my hands in there and fish that sucker out, all the time feeling small chunks of bum candy pattering against my delicate fingers.

Genuine outloud giggle in a quiet office... nice...

[DRTY]

LOL, you must have a nice phone to fondle around in shit for

[BNanni]

I'm going to stop reading the replies to this while eating my crunchy nut cereal

[Dead Rats]

It's a pink Nokia that's older than ya nan, m8.

But serious, I'm only really concerned about the sim. I need the numbers, I need to speak to mah peeps. If I suddenly stop replying and dissapear out of the blue, all 5 people on my contact list will be almost worried.

Almost.

[miscreant]

Just bought a laughing gas machine and 360 canisters, but I was meant to buy 96. Helly bank charges galore

you've got to laugh though eh?

[Dead Rats]

That made me laugh and feel very sick at the same time.
Is the phone broken now or still working?

It's cunted.

[magnetron_sputtering]

LOL, you must have a nice phone to fondle around in shit for

Any excuse.

[BNanni]

That made me laugh and feel very sick at the same time.
Is the phone broken now or still working?

It's cunted.

Not good.
I suggest taking it apart, putting it on a towel and leaving it to dry.
Obviously wait til you get home to do that.
I'm sure the people where you work wont appreciate you taking your phone apart and having nuggets of shit flying about.

[faust.dtc]

Just bought a laughing gas machine and 360 canisters, but I was meant to buy 96. Helly bank charges galore

you've got to laugh though eh?

[Dead Rats]

I've already disassembled the phone and placed the parts face-down in my bosses in-tray. I've also switched the air-con onto the "Lowest level of fucking hell" temperature, so hopefully in about an hour or so it'll all condense and I'll be all happy and lovely again.

That, or the mixture of electricity, water and heat manage to ignite my bosses in-tray, which quickly spreads throughout the whole shop, engulfing every women and baby, infernoing them all into a soppy, moist puddle of flesh flotsam. DEAD CHILDREN AND WOMEN, OLD BEAN, DEAD CHILDREN AND WOMEN.

Here's hoping.