Ham Touchers Anonymous

pk- · Post by **pk-** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:15 pm

Ex-Ham-Toucher wrote:
pk- wrote:it is every englishman's duty to touch ham on a daily basis. the church of ham is nothing to be feared - they do sterling work in the community and provide a haven from the depravities of beef, chicken, turkey and lamb that today's media bombard us with every second of the day.
pk- my child, although you have wasted years in a hammy wilderness, it is not too late for you.

You have been brainwashed by the Church of Ham into believing their hammy propaganda.

when judgement day comes there will only be two kinds of people under the eyes of the lord; the hams and the ham-nots. choose your path wisely, for it cometh soonish.

forensix (mcr) · Post by **forensix (mcr)** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:15 pm

Ex-Ham-Toucher wrote:
datura wrote:To deny life's pleasures, is to lead an unfulfilled and painful existence. Be true to yourself and caress that ham once again. You will be forgiven in time for your diversion from the path of the righteous.
Don't quote from the Bible of Ham. It was written by Forensix after a three day bender on meths and ham. It is worthless.

blasphemy....

do not force us to declare a jiham on this forum

ex-ham-toucher · Post by **ex-ham-toucher** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:16 pm

pk- wrote:when judgement day comes there will only be two kinds of people under the eyes of the lord; the hams and the ham-nots. choose your path wisely, for it cometh soonish.

Although your humour is a very powerful weapon in the Ham Toucher's Arsenal, it will not sway me.

ex-ham-toucher · Post by **ex-ham-toucher** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:17 pm

forensix (mcr) wrote:do not force us to declare a jiham on this forum

Although this made me cry with laughter, I will not change my ways.

kidlogic · Post by **kidlogic** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:17 pm

nesslei wrote:STOP TOUCHING HAM YOU GUYS - TRY TOUCHING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JUICY!!!

it will help...

I guess you've never touched a properly roasted ham... as juicy as you can get!

datura · Post by **datura** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:18 pm

Ex-Ham Toucher - why are you so bitter? Did you get a hot beef injection from some reprobate to turn you against your former brothers in ham?

nesslei · Post by **nesslei** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:19 pm

kidlogic wrote:
nesslei wrote:STOP TOUCHING HAM YOU GUYS - TRY TOUCHING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JUICY!!!

it will help...
I guess you've never touched a properly roasted ham... as juicy as you can get!

I VEHEMENTLY DEFY THIS CLAIM

there is plenty of juice in these here parts that is NOT of ham origin.

ex-ham-toucher · Post by **ex-ham-toucher** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:19 pm

datura wrote:Ex-Ham Toucher - why are you so bitter? Did you get a hot beef injection from some reprobate to turn you against your former brothers in ham?

I am not bitter. I do not hate any of you (no matter what kidlogic tries to claim).

I just know ham touching to be a sin and therefore see it as my sacred duty to try and provide a way out.

I'm being cruel to be kind.

datura · Post by **datura** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:21 pm

nesslei wrote:STOP TOUCHING HAM YOU GUYS - TRY TOUCHING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JUICY!!!

it will help...

I don't want to tell you how wrong you are as you seem a good person. Do not be swayed by the ham-hating false prophets of doom and come bask in the meaty glow of a freshly cooked ham.

kidlogic · Post by **kidlogic** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:22 pm

nesslei wrote:
kidlogic wrote:
nesslei wrote:STOP TOUCHING HAM YOU GUYS - TRY TOUCHING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JUICY!!!

it will help...
I guess you've never touched a properly roasted ham... as juicy as you can get!
I VEHEMENTLY DEFY THIS CLAIM

there is plenty of juice in these here parts that is NOT of ham origin.

Im not denying that, just saying its damn juicy...

nesslei · Post by **nesslei** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:22 pm

datura wrote:
nesslei wrote:STOP TOUCHING HAM YOU GUYS - TRY TOUCHING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JUICY!!!

it will help...
I don't want to tell you how wrong you are as you seem a good person. Do not be swayed by the ham-hating false prophets of doom and and bask in the meaty glow of a freshly cooked ham.

i flatly refuse.

forensix (mcr) · Post by **forensix (mcr)** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:24 pm

nesslei wrote:
datura wrote:
nesslei wrote:STOP TOUCHING HAM YOU GUYS - TRY TOUCHING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JUICY!!!

it will help...
I don't want to tell you how wrong you are as you seem a good person. Do not be swayed by the ham-hating false prophets of doom and and bask in the meaty glow of a freshly cooked ham.
i flatly refuse.

your loss

if you do change your mind pm me and i will show the way to the ham

ex-ham-toucher · Post by **ex-ham-toucher** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:24 pm

I see only d.three is prepared to try and take steps to curb his ham touching.

I have tried, I truly have. I can only sit back and watch in despair as this debauchery spreads through the forum like a hammy plague.

Tears well up in my eyes as I type this. It is a tragedy.

Farewell my brothers and sisters, farewell. May we meat again.

badger · Post by **badger** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:25 pm

Ex-Ham-Toucher wrote:It is the formation of the Church of Ham that caused the schism to begin with. You have been brainwashed. It is only a matter of time before you are asked to 'disconnect' with your fellow ninjas. Turn your back on your hammy ways and come back to a world that does not discriminate between meat based snacks.

it is YOU that is bringing us to the brink of a schism young man. we will have none of this blasphemy

kidlogic · Post by **kidlogic** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:26 pm

Ex-Ham-Toucher wrote:I see only d.three is prepared to try and take steps to curb his ham touching.

I have tried, I truly have. I can only sit back and watch in despair as this debauchery spreads through the forum like a hammy plague.

Tears well up in my eyes as I type this. It is a tragedy.

Farewell my brothers and sisters, farewell. May we meat again.

Please remember it is your decision. We still love all and will welcome you back into the fold when you realize it is not a sin to be happy.

*grand* · Post by ***grand*** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:26 pm

You guy's are leaving me with very little options...

i wish not to feast on your hams but i will devour them all until not a single ham is left... then where will you be then???

Repent before it is too late...

you have been warned.

datura · Post by **datura** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:28 pm

*Grand* wrote:You guy's are leaving me with very little options...

i wish not to feast on your hams but i will devour them all until not a single ham is left... then where will you be then???

Repent before it is too late...

you have been warned.

"...just...one..more... waffer thin..strip of ham.."

forensix (mcr) · Post by **forensix (mcr)** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:29 pm

please be calm my brothers

there will always be enough ham for everyone

kidlogic · Post by **kidlogic** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:30 pm

*Grand* wrote:You guy's are leaving me with very little options...

i wish not to feast on your hams but i will devour them all until not a single ham is left... then where will you be then???

Repent before it is too late...

you have been warned.

We will grow more. We have fields of hams on the ready. I did not want to believe there were fields myself, until I saw them with my own eyes, and it was a most glorious sight. Acres upon acres of free-roming swine, happy as a pig in, well, you know...

I invite you to eat some ham, Grand. Here, Ive already cut you off a piece... Im sorry though, as we have no forks, you'll have to grab it with your fingers...

kidlogic · Post by **kidlogic** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:40 pm

this thread has done nothing but strengthen our ranks and our resolve... our numbers grow by the minute!

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