Co-Workers say the funniest things

[sang-froid]

mine seem to find it really funny to spend all day repeating everything i say because they think i say things funnily, when in fact i can just speak properly instead of like an inbred yokel

for fucks sake

the home office: where humour and mental retardation go hand in hand

I'm thinking of working from home so that in my home office I get maximum retardation and laugh all day long.

[badger]

heh sounds wonderful. as long as it's your own retardation in your own home it's great

i told them this morning that it's like being at school again, only surrounded by special needs kids. they haven't talked to me since

[aleks zen]

last time i properly worked was in primark. people either didnt talk or just spoke their own language or were a smelly boss, god that shit was depressing

[deamonds]

not a co-worker but a few gems from this girl in college

"i'm TELLING YOU - the river nile is in wales!!"

also..in response to the title of this thread, they dont, they honestly do not

[deamonds]

on a related note, my boss came in today and said one of the girls looked pregnant, she said she wished she was as shed get more time off work. He then said she'd have to come in the next day after shed had the baby if she was pregnant. I then said if she did that id eat the placenta

[sang-froid]

on a related note, my boss came in today and said one of the girls looked pregnant, she said she wished she was as shed get more time off work. He then said she'd have to come in the next day after shed had the baby if she was pregnant. I then said if she did that id eat the placenta

Placenta polenta is a rare delicacy, tho still available in some extra-rural neopoilitan tavernas and jassa lika mamma yussa make-a

[concept_]

on a related note, my boss came in today and said one of the girls looked pregnant, she said she wished she was as shed get more time off work. He then said she'd have to come in the next day after shed had the baby if she was pregnant. I then said if she did that id eat the placenta

Placenta polenta is a rare delicacy, tho still available in some extra-rural neopoilitan tavernas and jassa lika mamma yussa make-a

fried placenta is also really good for you..the mother should save it and eat it after childbirth in small bits.

Back to topic, where I currently work all people talk about is their work as it is a very professional and senior environment. Which makes a very nice change to where I worked before at RBSInsurance- all my co-workers talked about was: their pets, celebrities, what was on the radio, their girlfriends/boyfriends, repeat. Fucking dire- I got fired thank fuck.

I remember one time saying I liked vinyl and djing etc which was pretty much lost on them...but in response one of the boys said he remembered a DJ at his school mixing Darude- Sandstorm with an Eminem accapella saying it sounded awesome. I had to work really hard to stifle my laughter. No doubt that sounded intense (listen to said song if you don't know it, then imagine eminem over the top...)
And this annoying self confessed "caravan dwelling pikey" (in jest) hated the smell of curry, so I made an effort to get it and bring it back to the office whenever it was in the canteen

[dubluke]

"what's a protest *pause* ant?"

[psyolopher]

emma: he's not from asia he's chinese

emma: china isnt in asia

emma: asia is a india country...chineseians arent indian

emma: listen, right, i dunno what a contiment is - englands a contiment, init?

seriously the fucking retardedness fo my college

hahahaha, Is she mentally challenged?

[oddfellow]

oh and you probably had to be there for this to be funny, but this really weird portugese geezer at my office (who i had to do a discplinary hearing thing with lsat year because he was sexually harassing a girl who works there) leant over last week and whispered conspiratorially

"Do you know.....where I can get X Men 3?"