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skevin · Post by **skevin** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:32 pm

Dead Rats wrote:
SKevin wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
The Wiggle Baron wrote:lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there
Funny thing is, I'm not really a good-looking bastard, and am quite picky about women, and am generally a fucking prick, but everytime I do get it on with a bird, I often fuck it up for...well, basically a laugh. I don't understand it.
I feel for ya, I really do. But that story, man, nothing upsets me more that a poor blowjob on a train :/

Thankfully i've got a lovely other half, been with her for over 2 years now, but I think she's starting to get tired of my constant pissing around. and generally being a bit of a dick.
Longest I've ever spent with a bird is about 10 months...:'(

aww

I think you and me should get together. after the first few weeks of it all being awkward (and probably quite painful) we'll be in relationship bliss.

skevin · Post by **skevin** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:34 pm

The Wiggle Baron wrote:lol this might have to be renamed the "lets all recount hideously awkward moments in our past that we had so very nearly managed to block out" thread.

Kevin...Dead rats...thats some serious anecdotage right there

I've got some more but i'm not nearly drunk enough to talk about them.

One incident has led to the phrase "skev roast" being used far too much.

cyberneticghost · Post by **cyberneticghost** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:38 pm

Dead Rats wrote: Well, this girl is the reason I'm not particularly fond of blowjobs. We were coming back from Epping late at night on the train from some shitty indie gig, when I decided to get my cock out. She gave me a handjob at first, which was fine, but then tried it with her mouth, and was absolutely terrible at it. I mean, fucking AWFUL. My cock was bleeding from her teeth, and she sucked way too much rather than blew. And she tried to variate, which just does not work.

Eventually, after about 10 minutes of this, I decided I couldn't humour her no longer, so I suddenly jumped off the train at the next stop. She kind of sat there, staring at me through the window as if to say "What?", but I just walked in my agony down the down the stairs as the train was pulling off, ordered a cab, and went home. And that's the end of that story.

And my relationship with her.

haha Sorry mate, but that is FML worthy.

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:42 pm

cyberneticghost wrote:
Dead Rats wrote: Well, this girl is the reason I'm not particularly fond of blowjobs. We were coming back from Epping late at night on the train from some shitty indie gig, when I decided to get my cock out. She gave me a handjob at first, which was fine, but then tried it with her mouth, and was absolutely terrible at it. I mean, fucking AWFUL. My cock was bleeding from her teeth, and she sucked way too much rather than blew. And she tried to variate, which just does not work.

Eventually, after about 10 minutes of this, I decided I couldn't humour her no longer, so I suddenly jumped off the train at the next stop. She kind of sat there, staring at me through the window as if to say "What?", but I just walked in my agony down the down the stairs as the train was pulling off, ordered a cab, and went home. And that's the end of that story.

And my relationship with her.
haha Sorry mate, but that is FML worthy.

"FML"?

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:43 pm

My mate is ginger and really quite sensitive about it to such an extent he was 23 when he lost his virginity, which isn't ancient but it's not exactly young either. Anyway, first time he was going to get his end away, he turns off the light, drops his kecks in front of this beautiful spread girl who giggles at him

"what?" says butler
"i can see your pubes in the dark" says the girl

firky · Post by **firky** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:44 pm

Dead Rats wrote: "FML"?

fuck my life, it's when people invent or exaggerate stories for two seconds of internet fame.

cyberneticghost · Post by **cyberneticghost** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:45 pm

Fuck My Life. I thought there was a thread about it here. It is this website where people vent about shit that went wrong with their day.

One guy broke his first dates leg with the car door attempting to open it for her. I don't think I have ever visited the site without laughing.

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:52 pm

Firky wrote:
Dead Rats wrote: "FML"?
fuck my life, it's when people invent or exaggerate stories for two seconds of internet fame.

Yeah, well I won't actually make a drama of what happens, because I don't need to. I'd give you the name of the bird for her to clarify, but I'm pretty sure that after that night, she'd only (out of revenge) give you a bunch of shit about how small my penis is and crap, which is a massive lie.

....:'(

Also, I'm ginger, and my pubes are well blond and orange, but not enought to see them in the dark.

cyberneticghost · Post by **cyberneticghost** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:53 pm

Firky wrote:
Dead Rats wrote: "FML"?
fuck my life, it's when people invent or exaggerate stories for two seconds of internet fame.

Even if they are exaggerated or entirely fictional they are hilarious. Most of them could actually happen in real life.

EDIT: How is it for fame though? All of the posts on the site are anonymous or pseudonyms were used.

a of dkr · Post by **a of dkr** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:00 pm

Firky wrote:My mate is ginger and really quite sensitive about it to such an extent he was 23 when he lost his virginity, which isn't ancient but it's not exactly young either. Anyway, first time he was going to get his end away, he turns off the light, drops his kecks in front of this beautiful spread girl who giggles at him

"what?" says butler
"i can see your pubes in the dark" says the girl

i don't get why ginger ppl are so upset about it. i kinda like them, especially the girls. i think ginger emphasizes any amount of pretty-ness.

i have a question for ppl living in UK: do girls get offended when you call them "birds"? it kinda seems to be the equivalent of "bitches" in the US. while I find "bitches" to be terrible, I kinda like "birds". I was wondering how the girls over there react to it.

edit: I suddenly feel awkward as the only girl posting in this thread

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:07 pm

a of dkr wrote:
Firky wrote:My mate is ginger and really quite sensitive about it to such an extent he was 23 when he lost his virginity, which isn't ancient but it's not exactly young either. Anyway, first time he was going to get his end away, he turns off the light, drops his kecks in front of this beautiful spread girl who giggles at him

"what?" says butler
"i can see your pubes in the dark" says the girl

i don't get why ginger ppl are so upset about it. i kinda like them, especially the girls. i think ginger emphasizes any amount of pretty-ness.

i have a question for ppl living in UK: do girls get offended when you call them "birds"? it kinda seems to be the equivalent of "bitches" in the US. while I find "bitches" to be terrible, I kinda like "birds". I was wondering how the girls over there react to it.

edit: I suddenly feel awkward as the only girl posting in this thread

Mike Skinner wrote: Arrannd' ere' we say birdz, not bitchezzz''

Also, they love it *Cough*

k_k · Post by **k_k** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:27 pm

Dead Rats wrote:
Mike Skinner wrote: Arrannd' ere' we say birdz, not bitchezzz''
Also, they love it *Cough*

That is teh best quote i have ever seen on this forum, well done. and 'birds' is really quite acceptabble and really you use in a completly different context to bitches. no lass ive mets objected to it so it cant be all bad....

skevin · Post by **skevin** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:07 pm

a of dkr wrote:
Firky wrote:My mate is ginger and really quite sensitive about it to such an extent he was 23 when he lost his virginity, which isn't ancient but it's not exactly young either. Anyway, first time he was going to get his end away, he turns off the light, drops his kecks in front of this beautiful spread girl who giggles at him

"what?" says butler
"i can see your pubes in the dark" says the girl

i don't get why ginger ppl are so upset about it. i kinda like them, especially the girls. i think ginger emphasizes any amount of pretty-ness.

I dont understand the problem with ginger hair either.

My misses is ginger and she loves her hair, and she's hot as well.

Unless the the person is fucking ugly, hair colour doesnt really make much of a difference.

Oh, and with the pubes thing, if you can see them in the dark, you really need to have a "hair"cut.

miscreant · Post by **miscreant** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:19 pm

SKevin wrote:[

I dont understand the problem with ginger hair either.

dont make me fucking sick....

NilsFG · Post by **NilsFG** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:35 pm

It's like Mr. X there said, depends on the person who the ginger hair is given too.

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 7:55 am

MiscreanT wrote:
SKevin wrote:[

I dont understand the problem with ginger hair either.

dont make me fucking sick....

YOU WANNA GO?

miscreant · Post by **miscreant** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:47 am

Dead Rats wrote:
MiscreanT wrote:
SKevin wrote:[

I dont understand the problem with ginger hair either.

dont make me fucking sick....
YOU WANNA GO?

I'll go alright.....with you to the fucking chemist to get some brown hair die...

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:10 am

MiscreanT wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
MiscreanT wrote:
SKevin wrote:[

I dont understand the problem with ginger hair either.

dont make me fucking sick....
YOU WANNA GO?
I'll go alright.....with you to the fucking chemist to get some brown hair die...

MATE, THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA BE BROWN IS THE INSIDE OF YOUR PANTS WHEN SQUARE UP TO ME.

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IN A HEARTBEAT.

miscreant · Post by **miscreant** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:30 am

Dead Rats wrote:
MiscreanT wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
MiscreanT wrote:
SKevin wrote:[

I dont understand the problem with ginger hair either.

dont make me fucking sick....
YOU WANNA GO?
I'll go alright.....with you to the fucking chemist to get some brown hair die...
MATE, THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA BE BROWN IS THE INSIDE OF YOUR PANTS WHEN SQUARE UP TO ME.

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IN A HEARTBEAT.

My knees are trembling with fear

Dead Rats · Post by **Dead Rats** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:48 am

MiscreanT wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
MiscreanT wrote:
Dead Rats wrote:
MiscreanT wrote:
dont make me fucking sick....
YOU WANNA GO?
I'll go alright.....with you to the fucking chemist to get some brown hair die...
MATE, THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA BE BROWN IS THE INSIDE OF YOUR PANTS WHEN SQUARE UP TO ME.

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IN A HEARTBEAT.
My knees are trembling with fear

IS THAT A PICTURE OF YOUR MUM, MATE?

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