The Fedora/Cringe thread

[soronery]

would a black woman walking the streets of connecticut would get the same response

[magma]

Incidentally, I'd be very surprised if you filmed this *anywhere* and didn't get a very similar result.

I'm not sure that's true.

It is entirely true that I'd be surprised.

Have you never walked a few paces behind your SO and noticed all the stares, "Have a nice day, miss"s and associated bullshit that gets directed her way when it's not obvious you're with her? Attractive women deal with this shit every time they walk down the street alone.

I'm sure some wonderful couples have been created by chance meetings in the street through the generations, but largely, street approaches are about stroking the male ego rather than anything else. "How far can I get with THIS one? If she reacts badly, I'll just move onto the next!" It's no different to builders cat-calling from scaffolds... it's oafish and simple-minded at best and at worst, it can be deeply threatening behaviour. No, the vast majority of men aren't trying to do anything but get a phone number, but the tiny minority who stare, stalk and even go further with physical assaults and rapes have unfortunately spoilt it for everyone else - approach a woman on her own in the street and it's quite likely that a "worst case scenario" will at least flit through her mind... is it really worth holding on to such an unnecessarily threatening habit when there are a million other ways to meet women that wont cause them to worry for their lives?

I'm sure most people in that video had no horrible intentions... but it's like white rap fans using the n-word; even if you didn't mean to be the bad guy, you might just come across as the bad guy. It's just clearly best not to risk it.

As you lot grow up a bit and meet, you know, actual women, you might be surprised to find out how many of them have been put in scary situations... every single girl I've ever gone out with has been seriously threatened with rape at some point in their life if not actually sexually assaulted. My current girl narrowly escaped an attack in Kentish Town when I'd just started going out with her. Unfortunately, that means the rest of us have to work slightly harder so that fear of the strange man isn't evoked any more often than necessary. It's just common sense. Apply some. Why go around scaring people? Is it really worth it?

[nobody]

I hate it when i'm on my own, in a playground, taking photos, and people automatically assume im a sex pest

[magma]

Have any of you kids ever asked your Mum how she feels about this sort of thing?

[topmo3]

she should move 2 finland no-one ever talks to strangers here

[SignalRecon]

Yea but if they filmed that aywhere else, IE not NY's most impoverished neighbourhood, people would likely have better manners and likely not be so rapey. Thats how hood rats cat call hoodrats. thats not how shit goes down everywhere. Yea guys go talk to girls even off King st. here, but they do it in a much more amicable way and if she's not interested even teh greasiest bros just smile and fuck off to the next one. I feel like its annoying that shes trying to portrait ALL MEN with this... if I told you generalizing all men into the rapey Harlem thirst-monger is itself sexism would you believe me?

[nobody]

It does make me cringe the way some men act around lone women, I can see how it could be scary and intimidating. Every single girl you've gone out with? That's pretty extreme, I guess that sort of behaviour is much more common in England.

[magma]

Yea but if they filmed that aywhere else, IE not NY's most impoverished neighbourhood, people would likely have better manners and likely not be so rapey. Thats how hood rats cat call hoodrats. thats not how shit goes down everywhere. Yea guys go talk to girls even off King st. here, but they do it in a much more amicable way and if she's not interested even teh greasiest bros just smile and fuck off to the next one. I feel like its annoying that shes trying to portrait ALL MEN with this... if I told you generalizing all men into the rapey Harlem thirst-monger is itself sexism would you believe me?

I'd agree that would be reductive and wrong, but that's not the lesson to learn here.

The lesson is that however amiable the individual, they disappear into a never-ending sea of street hollers and so reduction is going to happen... by the very nature of picking such a lowest-common-denominator method of approach, you allow yourself to be lumped into that lowest-common-denominator... and however small the risks of rape (around 15% of women are raped at some point, likely higher due to non-reported crimes), the result of affording a stranger too much trust could be too awful to imagine. I'd much rather women lumped all men into the "stranger danger" category than see that rape stat get any higher.

I'm perfectly capable of getting over being incorrectly called a chauvinist, misogynist or potential rapist in a matter of minutes. Many women fail to get over rapes for the rest of their earthly existences. One is disappointing, the other is unacceptable.

[magma]

It does make me cringe the way some men act around lone women, I can see how it could be scary and intimidating. Every single girl you've gone out with? That's pretty extreme, I guess that sort of behaviour is much more common in England.

Every

Single

One.

That's not full blown rapes - although one of my more serious ex's who shall remain nameless, obviously, was beaten and raped by multiple people she considered 'friends' as a teenager - but most were situations where it's clear that was the ultimate intention. My current SO had to run full speed from an assailant and only managed to stop him by slamming her front door so hard that he couldn't stop it closing. He still maintained that he only wanted to say hello. I've no idea how that would've played out if she'd been more than a street from her house, but it terrifies me almost as much now as it did when I first heard about it.

I don't think it happens here more than elsewhere, I think it's more that most women are incredibly conflicted about speaking out about it for fear of being made to feel it was their fault in someway or simply aversion to reliving the experience... none of the attacks on people I know were officially reported, but talk to women anywhere and they have experiences like this. It's much more common than anyone would like to admit.

Hell, shout rape in a few places in your area of the world and you might end up being the one getting stoned to death rather than the rapist! </foxnews>

[Samuel_L_Damnson]

That video was obvs filmed there for maximum attention but it is a SRS issue

[garethom]

It does make me cringe the way some men act around lone women, I can see how it could be scary and intimidating. Every single girl you've gone out with? That's pretty extreme, I guess that sort of behaviour is much more common in England.

Every

Single

One.

Yeah, in fairness, that's the same for me. My first girlfriend I started going out with when I was 16 and she was 15, I was in 6th form so had no uniform, but she'd be walking down the road, in school uniform, getting some horrible shit shouted at her from passers by. Another girl I was with briefly had a guy follow her home from school, get into her back garden and jerk it whilst watching her in the house

My current girlfriend has had all sorts of mad shit too, even if I've been with her. Telling me stories of her being at a bar with some friends and some guy coming up to her and feeling her up. Plenty of times I've gone for a piss in a club and come back and she's got 2 or 3 guys surrounding her in a corner or something.

Pretty whack, dunno what it is, maybe lack of actual interaction between people and objectification or what, but some guys just don't know how to deal with other people in general. Seems to some people I know that everyone is either an enemy or a sexual conquest. Even one of my best mates takes ANY interaction with a girl to mean that she wants him, it's a bit cringy. He's not the sort to start shouting shit or creeping, but it just shows the mindset of some people.

[hubb]

Completely agree magma, apart from the n-word bit, I think maybe you're even downplaying it all a bit.

On a personal level, I experience being tall as enough reason to have to constantly decide to quickly walk ahead infront of people, particularly lone women even at day time. And I shave and stuff

[Harkat]

I own my above average tallness

it's not my fault if someone is indimidated by either my tallness or my humongous cock

[Forum]

On a personal level, I experience being tall as enough reason to have to constantly decide to quickly walk ahead infront of people, particularly lone women even at day time. And I shave and stuff

Bit much but there is an awkwardness about walking near a lone woman late at night in deserted areas. Unfortunate but that's how it is

[OGLemon]

It does make me cringe the way some men act around lone women, I can see how it could be scary and intimidating. Every single girl you've gone out with? That's pretty extreme, I guess that sort of behaviour is much more common in England.

Every

Single

One.

Yeah, in fairness, that's the same for me. My first girlfriend I started going out with when I was 16 and she was 15, I was in 6th form so had no uniform, but she'd be walking down the road, in school uniform, getting some horrible shit shouted at her from passers by. Another girl I was with briefly had a guy follow her home from school, get into her back garden and jerk it whilst watching her in the house

My current girlfriend has had all sorts of mad shit too, even if I've been with her. Telling me stories of her being at a bar with some friends and some guy coming up to her and feeling her up. Plenty of times I've gone for a piss in a club and come back and she's got 2 or 3 guys surrounding her in a corner or something.

Pretty whack, dunno what it is, maybe lack of actual interaction between people and objectification or what, but some guys just don't know how to deal with other people in general. Seems to some people I know that everyone is either an enemy or a sexual conquest. Even one of my best mates takes ANY interaction with a girl to mean that she wants him, it's a bit cringy. He's not the sort to start shouting shit or creeping, but it just shows the mindset of some people.

I hate fucks like that.

[magma]

Completely agree magma, apart from the n-word bit, I think maybe you're even downplaying it all a bit.

Yeah, it wasn't the best analogy. I was trying to think of something where it's sensible to not do something with good intentions, because those intentions might be misconstrued.

On a personal level, I experience being tall as enough reason to have to constantly decide to quickly walk ahead infront of people, particularly lone women even at day time. And I shave and stuff

That's one of the most awkward situations, especially at night. I'm quite a quick walker despite being a short-arse and so I quite often accidentally take people by surprise who didn't realise there was someone catching up behind them... nothing makes you feel creepier than seeing that nervous look over the shoulder followed by the eyes-straight ahead march. Then you've got to speed up to get past quicker, which until you're past looks like you're upping the pursuit... it's just easier to cross the fucking road.

[garethom]

I sometimes get knackered too quickly if I've gone for a run at night because as soon as I think I'm close enough for somebody to sense me, I sprint past them so I'm out of their area quicker.

[Forum]

it's just easier to cross the fucking road.

Without trying to sound like some kind of knight, I do this

[nobody]

fuck crossing the road just so I don't scare someone, i'd never do that

[Lye_Form]

Another girl I was with briefly had a guy follow her home from school, get into her back garden and jerk it whilst watching her in the house

Legit pick up technique imo