anti-jokes

hasezwei · Post by **hasezwei** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:54 am

Why are hurricanes named after women?

In 1953, the National Weather Service picked up on the habit of Naval meteorologists of naming the storms after women. Ships were always referred to as female, and were often given women's names. The storms' temperament certainly seemed female enough, shifting directions at a whim on a moment's notice. In 1979, male names were inserted to alternate with the female names,to the delight of women's-libbers everywhere.

edit: i copypasted the above. "women's-libbers" is a weird term. i'm not riding a horse, neither forwards nor backwards.

hifi · Post by **hifi** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:34 am

.\h4858a;;'//{

ketamine · Post by **ketamine** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:40 am

particle-jim wrote:How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict?

It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

Lol'd so hard

kidshuffle · Post by **kidshuffle** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:46 am

hasezwei wrote:Why are hurricanes named after women?

In 1953, the National Weather Service picked up on the habit of Naval meteorologists of naming the storms after women. Ships were always referred to as female, and were often given women's names. The storms' temperament certainly seemed female enough, shifting directions at a whim on a moment's notice. In 1979, male names were inserted to alternate with the female names,to the delight of women's-libbers everywhere.

edit: i copypasted the above. "women's-libbers" is a weird term. i'm not riding a horse, neither forwards nor backwards.

Women-libbers, lol.

tyger · Post by **tyger** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:37 am

which came first, chicken or egg?

egg, because the chicken evolved from another species which also laid eggs.

tyger · Post by **tyger** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:43 am

How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict?

(... that 1 was so good that some alternative/remix answers are called for ...)

tony blair may be a war criminal, but he isn't a pig. and he hasn't solved the arab-israeli conflict.

tyger · Post by **tyger** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:51 am

How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict?

because neither jews nor muslims are allowed to eat pig, when they finally stopped to think about it, it made them realize how much their religions have in common, thus defusing the religious enmity which was the root cause of the conflict.

no, on second thoughts, religious enmity isn't the root cause of the conflict at all, though it does something to increase the animosity.

particle-jim · Post by **particle-jim** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:22 am

hurrah, the second worthwhile idea for a thread i've had in the 2 years i've been here (the first being the dubs club... i didnt start the thread but it was my idea)

ComfiStile · Post by **ComfiStile** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:10 am

tyger wrote:which came first, chicken or egg?

egg, because the chicken evolved from another species which also laid eggs.

Holy good fuck.

How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Kid_Robotik · Post by **Kid_Robotik** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:43 am

knell wrote:A man walks into a bar.... his crippling alcoholism is destroying his relationship with his family and threatening the future of his career.

hahahahah

butter_man · Post by **butter_man** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 4:03 pm

Gu'day dude read the dyslexic australian as news of gaddafis death flooded his screen.

zerbaman · Post by **zerbaman** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:37 am

A man walks into a bar...

And a chair.. And a table..

hasezwei · Post by **hasezwei** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:42 am

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.

ruckus49 · Post by **ruckus49** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:58 am

hasezwei wrote:What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.

ahahaha

tyger · Post by **tyger** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:20 am

why do fools fall in love?

they don't look where they're treading, and then they slip.

bjackman · Post by **bjackman** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:54 pm

what did they call postman pat after he retired?

pat.

Pedro Sánchez · Post by **Pedro Sánchez** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:44 pm

bjackman wrote:what did they call postman pat after he retired?

Due to the recent pensions crisis, Pat couldn't afford to retire after having to remortgage his cottage, to help his daughter with a 15% deposit on a £150,000 one bedroom flat, because her degree is worthless and she is full-time in costa coffee, which started out as just a way to pay for weekend benders to numb the pain of reality, but her self-worth soon became shattered as she realized her dads genes she had inherited had left her ginger, big nosed and needing 2inch thick specs so a serious committed relationship with the man of her dreams was fucked...

too much?

ComfiStile · Post by **ComfiStile** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 5:10 pm

tyger wrote:How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict?

because neither jews nor muslims are allowed to eat pig, when they finally stopped to think about it, it made them realize how much their religions have in common, thus defusing the religious enmity which was the root cause of the conflict.

no, on second thoughts, religious enmity isn't the root cause of the conflict at all, though it does something to increase the animosity.

boomphat · Post by **boomphat** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 5:39 pm

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't, you get down from a duck.

particle-jim · Post by **particle-jim** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 5:41 pm

A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her?

Substance abuse and loneliness.

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