Ham Touchers Anonymous

[the decoy]

Right on brother!

MY BEEFY BREDREN, RISE UP AGAINST THIS HAMTATORSHIP!!!

YOU HAVE THE POWER!!!

I love how the last line before the "god is judgin you" part is "and mormons"

[the decoy]

I invite you to eat some ham, Grand. Here, Ive already cut you off a piece... Im sorry though, as we have no forks, you'll have to grab it with your fingers...

For fucks sake!! just look at this beautiful thing! the marbling, the smooth texture, the crispt "skin", the way the sprials coddle your naughty bits as you slide them in. mmmmhhhhmmmm yeaaahh, that truely is where it's at.

sliding your fingers (or what have you) in between the spiral cuts in a well baked ham is what makes life worth living.

GIVE ME HAM, OF GIVE ME DEATH!! (but not by heart attack, the ham will take care of that)

[thief]

I definitely endorse removing pants prior to consumption of bacon. It really just isn't the same when you're panted.

[kidlogic]

I definitely endorse removing pants prior to consumption of bacon. It really just isn't the same when you're panted.

Or clothed at all for that matter. Bacon should be consumed with a lover, in bed, naked whenever possible. If you dont have a lover, substitute more bacon. Just dont try to cook in bed, no matter how convenient it seems, bacon grease fires are no joke.

[shonky]

I definitely endorse removing pants prior to consumption of bacon. It really just isn't the same when you're panted.

Or clothed at all for that matter. Bacon should be consumed with a lover, in bed, naked whenever possible. If you dont have a lover, substitute more bacon. Just dont try to cook in bed, no matter how convenient it seems, bacon grease fires are no joke.

Be aware that many restaurants frown on such antics, the godless infidels

[BLZDub]

Doesn't matter where I go, I always take my bacon briefcase...

[badger]

that's awesome. possibly not one for sunny days though

[kidlogic]

I definitely endorse removing pants prior to consumption of bacon. It really just isn't the same when you're panted.

Or clothed at all for that matter. Bacon should be consumed with a lover, in bed, naked whenever possible. If you dont have a lover, substitute more bacon. Just dont try to cook in bed, no matter how convenient it seems, bacon grease fires are no joke.

Be aware that many restaurants frown on such antics, the godless infidels

Any establishment that would frown upon such a beautiful thing is clearly not worth my money or time.

[shonky]

that's awesome. possibly not one for sunny days though

I don't know, best to show that flesh off I think. Phwoar

[BLZDub]

that's awesome. possibly not one for sunny days though

I don't know, best to show that flesh off I think. Phwoar

All i ever keep in it is more pork related products.

[kidlogic]

that's awesome. possibly not one for sunny days though

I don't know, best to show that flesh off I think. Phwoar

I agree, just keep a can of bacon grease on you (I know you all do at all times anyway) and slop a little on there if it starts to dry out. Slop a little on yourself too for that golden tan, much better than coconut oil in so many ways. The feel, the smell, all far superior to any *shudder* veggie based oils.

[forensix (mcr)]

all this talk of bacon is distracting us from the real pork based product - HAM

we are not the church of bacon ARE WE!!

[kidlogic]

All pork is equal for me. Baconey goodness is next to godliness in my eyes.

[shonky]

all this talk of bacon is distracting us from the real pork based product - HAM

we are not the church of bacon ARE WE!!

I feel a schizm coming along.

Shit at least it's not lamb you jaded wookie

[forensix (mcr)]

All pork is equal for me. Baconey goodness is next to godliness in my eyes.

I AM APPALLED

[shonky]

All pork is equal for me. Baconey goodness is next to godliness in my eyes.

I AM APPALLED

It's fundamentalists like you that give ham-touching a bad name.

[kidlogic]

I try to live by this manta - all ham is good ham, all pork is good pork.

Did not mean to upset my brothers, I understand ham is, of course, above all, but least we forget the beauty of bacon or we shall all be lost.

[forensix (mcr)]

I am sorry you are right all pig flesh is good pig flesh

i let beef get the better of me, but i have cast it from my soul

[badger]

all this talk of bacon is distracting us from the real pork based product - HAM

we are not the church of bacon ARE WE!!

i agree entirely

All pork is equal for me. Baconey goodness is next to godliness in my eyes.

and as for this statement... ham is not pork ffs. you show no understanding of the basic differences between pig meats. i'm appalled

[badger]

I am sorry you are right all pork is good pork

i let beef get the better of me, but i have cast it from my soul

show some conviction you yellow-bellied fool. and there's that pork word again!