worst night on my life..cant move on any advice?

[manillathrilla]

i have been depressed for about two months now since my x dumped me. it is really starting to affect my everyday life. I eat like shit and sleep all the time, except never when its appropriate. I am failing my classes at my university and have no drive to go out and do things. anyways last night i was really messed up off xanax and drinking so i decided to text her about my depression. she said "that sucks, just keep your chin up, i have to go im eating" and that was it. her utter disrespect for my current emotional state threw me overboard. I began drinking and ate more xanax. then i guess i called her later and told her that she was a terrible heartless person and told her she would end up like her mother and all she could say to me is "grow up" and then this morning she called to say she was blocking my phone number. I was with this girl for 3 years, we traveled together spent every single day together and i was literally head over healls for her and she could care less now that i developed depression over the situation and my life is in the shitter... i dont know how to get over her, I have used drugs, alcohol, family, friends, to try and break out of this depression. i cant figure out how someone could be so heartless and cold to a person they used to love so much. I just dont know.

[djelements]

It's just in your head man.
Just always remember, it's her loss. You aren't missing out on her, she's missing out on you.

[gnome]

Yeah fuck it man. Her blocking your numbers gonna do you a lot of good. You can go out with friends and have a good time. Maybe lay off such extreme drink and drugs. it don't get rid of the problem only makes it worse. trust me in a month things will look bright.

Inspiration song time

[djacroama]

You aren't missing out on her, she's missing out on you.

exactly this! Its her problem, not yours. Lay off the messy stuff though man, all the booze and drugs wont help your situation. Family and Friends will though. go to park with some puppies or kittens and watch how many women come up to yo (ive actually done this and it DOES work )

[Pada]

Get yourself down to a club night where you feel comfortable - FWD, DMZ, Medium or something if your london based, which ever you prefer and just soak in the vibes.


Remember - LIfe, it's just a ride.

[d-T-r]

avoid burnin bridges. both walking over them and setting fire to them.

[karmacazee]

It will get better, but only if you stop abusing yourself.

It also can take quite a bit of time, don't expect it to go away any time soon. Just work with it. Just because you're feeling shitty, you don't have to feel guilty about it. Just ride it out, seriously. Also, a common feeling is guilt and anxiety whenever you feel happy and forget that you've been depressed. A lot of people feel they're betraying themselves, but seriously, involving yourself in good company and good times is the only way. Even if it reminds you of her, it gets easier each time. It's amazing how supportive you're friends can be.

My GF of 7 years left me for my brother 18 months ago, on my birthday (no word of a lie. Like something out of a Jeremy fucking Kyle episode). I did the exact same thing as you - went on a mad drinking and drugs binge for about four months solid and nearly broke my mind. Didn't help the situation at all. It still hurts if I dwell on it, but I've learned not to let myself get bogged down by it. Anger helps in small amounts

[manillathrilla]

the irresponsibility i have been using in my daily life has gotten me in a hell of a hole right now finals are coming up and im constantly missing class and late to work. My problem is that the girl was absolutely gorgeous. the thing is i have feelings like i could never get a girl like that to want me again and i feel like i have used up all my love on her, like i cant make new things with girls to make them excited or happy. its hard to explain but i feel liike i used all my mojo on the x and theres nothing left for me to give without feeling shitty about myself. again this girl was literally beautiful back in highschool she won best eyes and most attractive in the yearbook. i have kissed other girls (mostly unattractive to me) since her and it just feels wrong like im stooping too low but i have no confidence to talk to another girl as pretty as the x. also after three years i think i completely forgot how to talk to girls as well.

[firky]

This is going to sound harsh as fuck but:

She did the right thing, she isn't responsible for you or your actions and in a way you were using emotional blackmail unintentionally to try and re-establish some kind of bond or emotional attachment that is no longer there. You're blaming much of your depression on her rather than your state of mind and the substance misuse. Seriously, fella... sort it out before you end up a right fucking mess, you've already taken quite a brave step by posting about it on here, where some people will no doubt call you an emo prick etc. (they did it to me when I said I still love my ex), the best thing you can do for yourself is delete her number and all modes of contact with her and seek professional help.

Necking alprazolam in those kinds of doses will actually heighten your anxiety, cause confusion, agitation, perception gets shot to shit as your head goes mental, some people then exhibit aggressive behaviour and then there's the physical side effects that include sores all over your skin, jaundice complexion, hypersensitivity to touch and hearing to the point it causes pain and more. There's a couple of things in there that may sound familiar already...

It's up to you, no one else. This problem is not caused by the girl - she was the trigger.

Best of luck man

[bandshell]

This is going to sound harsh as fuck but:

She did the right thing, she isn't responsible for you or your actions and in a way you were using emotional blackmail unintentionally to try and re-establish some kind of bond or emotional attachment that is no longer there. You're blaming much of your depression on her rather than your state of mind and the substance misuse. Seriously, fella... sort it out before you end up a right fucking mess, you've already taken quite a brave step by posting about it on here, where some people will no doubt call you an emo prick etc. (they did it to me when I said I still love my ex), the best thing you can do for yourself is delete her number and all modes of contact with her and seek professional help.

Necking alprazolam in those kinds of doses will actually heighten your anxiety, cause confusion, agitation, perception gets shot to shit as your head goes mental, some people then exhibit aggressive behaviour and then there's the physical side effects that include sores all over your skin, jaundice complexion, hypersensitivity to touch and hearing to the point it causes pain and more. There's a couple of things in there that may sound familiar already...

It's up to you, no one else. This problem is not caused by the girl - she was the trigger.

Best of luck man

yeah, I was gonna say something along these lines but not as well as Firky said it. Specifically the first paragraph.

[AnalGangstaHo]

Yeah, stay off the head wreckers cos they'll be delaying the time it takes to get yours together.
Relationships fuck with your head big style but it does get easier, I've bin there and saw no way out at the time and was a bit of a wreck myself. I found that my mates were pretty helpfull but at the end of the day they're blokes and aren't really into talkin' about shit like that. Speaking with my Mum helped a hell of a lot actually as did spending time with my family.
Cut all ties with this girl and start picking yourself up. Aim so high that when she see's what you've become she'll be gutted she lost ya. I'm not saying as in an 'I'll show you' kinda way cos then you'll still be obsessing, I'm saying use this as an oppurtunity to turn your life around and start living.

I'd send one last text tho, just saying you were sorry and you were fucked. Then delete her number and if you see her around keep it short but be nice and make like you've gotta be somewhere a million times better.

[cyberneticghost]

I have used drugs, alcohol, family, friends, to try and break out of this depression.

Using family and friends is a great idea, but using drugs and alcohol to escape your problems is a bad idea mate. Especially because I have a feeling you aren't dropping acid and trying to have an introspective look and solve the root of the problem. There are plenty of good reasons to get mashed such as expanding your mind, enjoying music, mash up with your mates, but running from your problems is not one of them. I am not trying to preach, just giving some friendly advice because I genuinely worry.

[rbnc]

Drugs and alcohol are actually the best way out of depression actually. God, everyone knows that.

[nousd]

failing uni can be good for ya
might take you somewhere unexpected
& enjoy being a misery guts, cos it won't last.

[manillathrilla]

i appreciate all the advice...maybe it was the trigger and not the reason but at the same time...i honestly think she was my soulmate although clearly she didnt think so. Its just a dark ass time. the other bummer is t hat i feel like i have lost all my ability to talk to girls as a good guy. i used every bit of creativity i had on this girl. its like... writing a term paper and just getting ready to print, then the computer crashes and your left with dickshit. Its so hard to restart that goddamn paper sometimes nearly impossible to get it done on time after that happens. thats the best analogy i could think of.

[ben freeman]

Dude, IT WILL PASS. This exact thing happened to me when I was 18 (I'm 34 now). I fell head over heels for a gorgeous girl, she dropped me, then I flipped out like a maniac on her, and was still hurt a couple of years later, but eventually it passed and I finally completely forgot about her. Now, it's like it never happened. But you know what I gained from it? I will never feel so bad about losing a girl again, because I know from experience that it just isn't worth getting all up in a bind about. There plenty of fish in the sea, and if you copped what you consider to be a 10 once, you can do it again, as long as you don't get your face burned off or something. She is dissing you because she has moved on, and you haven't. You are obsessing about it. She knows this, and doesn't want to deal with it. It may seem harsh, and you might think she is the one, but maybe she doesn't. It may be tough to handle, but you can do better. Hell, you will look back one day and find all her flaws she has, that aren't obvious to you now because you are blinded by love.

Hell, my X back then was actually scared shitless of me because I handled it so bad, I was a fucking wreck. stalking her, yelling, etc. I even beat up the next guy she dated. LOL. Don't do it. Looking back, I see how absolutely crazy I was, how stupid and dumb it was to obsess like that. I didn't see the big picture, that life will go on, and I will meet tons of great girls in my life after the fact.

[Neurotik]

Wow, depression is seriously an epidemic on here today!

But cheer up! Shouldn't beat yourself up over these sorts of things, i know it's incredibly easy for me to say now but once you get through it you'll see what i mean . Personal recommendation if you're still in contact with her is to talk to her for a short time and tell her you want to take some time away from contacting eachother, maybe about a month or so, as if it's really hurting atm things can get really complicated really easily if you're still in contact frequently. I guess one big main reason for taking a time out if for yourself, give yourself a rest from it all and just focus on yourself for abit do some things you enjoy and look after yourself.

[HamCrescendo]

At least she replied, the last girl I was involved with didnt even talk to me once things stopped, and I never talked to her. Just nothing, didnt even know why it really stopped. That messed me up alot. Kept alot of feelings inside. When I finally swallowed my pride (about 2 years later) and did something about it, it didnt go to plan and I didnt get the best result, but at least I did something and since then I've felt alot better.

I'm not going to tell you to cheer up cus it aint gonna work, but if you have to know something, do it now rather than later.

[Pada]

I got hurt once, and I know how your feeling about moving on I think. Since being let down that one time for some reason I haven't felt really strongly for a girl since then. I have a girl friend at the moment whose all the things I want in a girl - been going out 4 months now but I think subconsciously I won't let my self get too attached, which is shit cos I like the feeling of being madly in love if the feelings mutual - but i suppose at least now no one can break my heart.

[magma]

Mate, breaking up is fucking shit... but it's supposed to be a bit shit. You'll get a way better outlook on yourself and what you want from a girl by going through a bit of heartbreak you'll probably realise you wanted someone totally different all along anyway... you might even write a hit album. Get yourself a cracked copy of Ableton and I'll see you in the production forum.

You'll be alright man.