Being called an embarrassment by the fam.

Siderealdb · Post by **Siderealdb** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:46 am

Anyone else had to deal with this? Personally I'm trying my hardest not to give a flying f#(k.

noam · Post by **noam** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:15 am

why try not to give a fuck??

at least if they're on your back be on your own side at least and admit it hurts

noam · Post by **noam** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:16 am

inner conflict over these emotions will be more detrimental to you in this situation than their words

wormcode · Post by **wormcode** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:40 am

Depends on the reason really...?
Like if it's something like your sexual orientation, then yeah don't give a fuck.

Siderealdb · Post by **Siderealdb** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:14 am

noam wrote:inner conflict over these emotions will be more detrimental to you in this situation than their words

My situation involves many things that I think plenty of people in their later twenties go through. Like being constantly asked about marriage and children. Personally I take offence to such questions, but I understand where they come from. Does anyone relate to this?

wormcode · Post by **wormcode** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:27 am

No, I don't see why it's their business.
Feeling pressured to do those things is why most people fail at them.

Calling someone an embarrassment for something as dumb as that is way more of an embarrassment imo.

fluents · Post by **fluents** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:36 am

i get called an embarrassment almost every single sunday night when i return from saturdays night out

Siderealdb · Post by **Siderealdb** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:37 am

wormcode wrote:No, I don't see why it's their business.
Feeling pressured to do those things is why most people fail at them.

Calling someone an embarrassment for something as dumb as that is way more of an embarrassment imo.

I'm asking people around my age. Not sure that you've had the spiel before.

Shum · Post by **Shum** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:54 am

You understand where they're coming from as far as marriage is concerned and yet you still get irked when they bring it up?

My folks are always on at me about marriage and children all the time (no doubt they will bring it up over Christmas

), I just shrug them off and it ends there.

Siderealdb · Post by **Siderealdb** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:57 am

Shum wrote:You understand where they're coming from as far as marriage is concerned and yet you still get irked when they bring it up?

My folks are always on at me about marriage and children all the time (no doubt they will bring it up over Christmas ), I just shrug them off and it ends there.

They'll bring it up next Christmas. The older you get the more they bring it up. Once you start hearing it once a week, you'll understand. It will drive you crazy.

pandabear · Post by **pandabear** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:29 am

My mother dear now wants me to get pregnant by ANYONE for the sake of having a grandchild. She also volunteered to take care of it. Wellllllllll, any takers? Thought so.

Still in the process of making peace with not finding the one. Kind of a hard pill to swallow but I'm trying my best to look at the future with a positive outlook. It's really hard to rewire my brain - I don't fuck around when it comes to the matters of the heart. I have many rules and too late to break them (i.e. won't go back with ex; won't mess with a guy who has GF/in love with another girl; no ONS/casual sex; no begging, et al). I think with total detachment, I will manage to fully accept it. I just wish I wake up and not have to think about him (whoever the fudge he is!) anymore. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Anyway, this is too real for forums. I'll shut up.

Good luck siderealdb.

knell · Post by **knell** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:40 am

watch a couple episodes of Family Matters...

you'll be fine, just live life the way you want to... you only have one shot at this, make it yours. If keeping your parents happy is your objective, change things up to accomodate that.

Shum · Post by **Shum** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:41 am

Siderealdb wrote:
Shum wrote:You understand where they're coming from as far as marriage is concerned and yet you still get irked when they bring it up?

My folks are always on at me about marriage and children all the time (no doubt they will bring it up over Christmas ), I just shrug them off and it ends there.
They'll bring it up next Christmas. The older you get the more they bring it up. Once you start hearing it once a week, you'll understand. It will drive you crazy.

You're an adult, tell the other adults (your parents) how you feel about what they're saying.

wub · Post by **wub** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:46 am

Siderealdb wrote:Like being constantly asked about marriage and children. Personally I take offence to such questions, but I understand where they come from. Does anyone relate to this?

Thankfully not. My Mum didn't have me until she was 40, and she considers marriage/children before the mid-30s to be too young anyway.

atleast13 wrote:My mother dear now wants me to get pregnant by ANYONE for the sake of having a grandchild. She also volunteered to take care of it. Wellllllllll, any takers?

Would this be a f2f meeting, or would you be happy with having a sample tube and a turkey baster being Fed Ex'd to you?

hifi · Post by **hifi** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:02 am

i guess i'm an embarrassment to my family as they are an embarrassment to me. i'm different, they are all the same.

pandabear · Post by **pandabear** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:03 am

wub wrote:
Siderealdb wrote:Like being constantly asked about marriage and children. Personally I take offence to such questions, but I understand where they come from. Does anyone relate to this?
Thankfully not. My Mum didn't have me until she was 40, and she considers marriage/children before the mid-30s to be too young anyway.

I have heard stories of consolation like this before.

wub wrote:
atleast13 wrote:My mother dear now wants me to get pregnant by ANYONE for the sake of having a grandchild. She also volunteered to take care of it. Wellllllllll, any takers?

Would this be a f2f meeting, or would you be happy with having a sample tube and a turkey baster being Fed Ex'd to you?

I once saw a movie with a similar story. It was meant to make me laugh but I felt so sad after.

How much is the donor asking?

I think I'm done with this whole talk.

wub · Post by **wub** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:07 am

Eh, you can have it pro bono providing you sign a document absolving the donor of any responsibilites, together with a caveat confirming 'Horatio' as the guaranteed first choice name if it's a boy.

wormcode · Post by **wormcode** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:30 pm

Siderealdb wrote:
wormcode wrote:No, I don't see why it's their business.
Feeling pressured to do those things is why most people fail at them.

Calling someone an embarrassment for something as dumb as that is way more of an embarrassment imo.
I'm asking people around my age. Not sure that you've had the spiel before.

I'm 27, you?
My family knows it's not their business, they don't ask about my life unless I bring stuff up.
I guess everyone's family has different values, but mine don't care about marriage. Parents are still married, but they know I am not into traditions or things like that.

mikey_g · Post by **mikey_g** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:36 pm

Just tell them you are a hom, I'm sure they will still love you and you'll feel alot better.

hasezwei · Post by **hasezwei** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:40 pm

i was always 'the smart kid' in our family thanks to fucking psychiatrists thinking i'm some sort of brain mutant, so all my uncles and aunts were more interested in my school career than me as a person. everyone always talked about what would be best for me (iE me realizing the dreams they failed at), now i'm the only one in my generation of the fam who completely failed school. i haven't heard from anyone except my grandma since then, not even on my 18th and 19th birthdays.

so yeah fuck family, seriously. might not be related to your problem but i've been called an embarrassment more than one time in the above context.

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