Relationship or Sex problems? Ask Dr Yompa

dr yompa · Post by **dr yompa** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:24 pm

Hello my children.

I hope you are all exceedingly well and splendidly content with your sexual interactions and matters of love.

But if you're not, i'm here for you!

Let me - Dr Yompa, doctor of love, provide some solutions to your dilemmas.

Totally free of charge!

So feel free to ask away. Anything you want. Don't be afraid. In my 25 years of practicing love doctoring i've heard it all.

Respect, peace and love to you all.

xx

PS. Don't forget to check my show on sub fm:

http://dubstepforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=627584#627584

djelements · Post by **djelements** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:48 pm

I like it when girls pee on me. Is this wrong?

tempest · Post by **tempest** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:49 pm

Hi Dr Yompa,

I've spent years dealing with my oversized black testicles. A slab of concrete was dropped on my nards as a child and now women run at the sight of my blackened, large, prune looking testies.

Plz help.

ytee · Post by **ytee** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:52 pm

someone once told me it's not herpes if it's all over....is this true?

dr yompa · Post by **dr yompa** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:55 pm

DJelements wrote:I like it when girls pee on me. Is this wrong?

You should have heard the show today. We had a listener asking if it was ok to do 2 girls one Cup with her boyfriend because he asked her really nicely.

As i said at the time, poo love is wrong.

But as for watersports go, the issue ain't so clear cut.

I'd ask yourself a these few questions:

Are you drinking enough water?

Did your mother ever pee on you as a child?

Is a golden shower actually any better than a real shower?

Are you japanese?

Think about these things a bit. I'm sure you'll feel much better.

dr yompa · Post by **dr yompa** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:56 pm

tempest wrote:Hi Dr Yompa,

I've spent years dealing with my oversized black testicles. A slab of concrete was dropped on my nards as a child and now women run at the sight of my blackened, large, prune looking testies.

Plz help.

Ok, first off, surgery isn't an option. There are far too many people today trying to compensate their physical shortcomings under the knife.

Second, i'd like to say this: there are websites.

dr yompa · Post by **dr yompa** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:03 am

ytee wrote:someone once told me it's not herpes if it's all over....is this true?

you're not clear here. alll over what?

you and her?

your body?

i'll answer both questions:

if you and her are over then herpes if not all over. herpes can be real no matter how real it isn't. and you can't rely on herpes to try to maintain the relationship. especially not when it's all over. see your medical doctor if you have more questions. i'm pretty sure this ain't a matter of love, L.O.V.E

dr yompa · Post by **dr yompa** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:30 am

any more quesstions? step right up.

nesslei · Post by **nesslei** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:09 am

what constitutes a qualified sexologist?

cal · Post by **cal** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:44 am

Dear Dr Yompa,

I usually draw for the Rohypnol once i see a date isn't going in the right direction. Does this make me a fiend?

regards

"little shy rapist"

wub · Post by **wub** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:45 am

It's not rape.

It's surprise sex.

shane · Post by **shane** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:58 am

dear dr whatshisname

should i do my friend's ex? should i tell him first?

thanks,
shane

nousd · Post by **nousd** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:19 am

Dear Dr Youngpoo

Why are pubes curly and can I use Viagra to straighten them?

No long, drawn-out answers please.

drksteppa · Post by **drksteppa** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:20 am

LOL @ THIS THREAD!

nousd · Post by **nousd** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:20 am

Ah, Doc

I meant the ones I find between me teeth.

misk · Post by **misk** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:25 am

Dear dr. Yompa,
Can you reccomend a good cure for forhead-penis? i seem to have one growing out of my forehead, and even when i file it down, it eventually grows back. im at my wit's end, and its starting to affect my social life!

yours,
misk

elbe · Post by **elbe** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:37 am

Dear Dr Yompa

I enjoy trying to fit my penis into the vaginal entrance of ever incrasingly small animals. It started about a year ago when I found myself wondering what it would be like entering a fresian cow. After this experiance I had to try out other farmyard creatures. Then I moved onto domesticated pets, recently I split a hamster in half.

My question is, should I tell my sister that her hamster is dead or should I just get a new one from the pet shop? will she be able to tell the difference?

nousd · Post by **nousd** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:40 am

He must be out playing golf.

elbe · Post by **elbe** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:43 am

SD5 wrote:He must be out playing golf.

fucking surgery hours are ridiculous these days. I need help quick, my sis will be back from school soon!

nousd · Post by **nousd** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:51 am

Fuck'n oath!
If this quack doesn't get back soon I'm gonna operate on Misk's head.
(Note I didn't say sit on Misk's head)

Relationship or Sex problems? Ask Dr Yompa

Relationship or Sex problems? Ask Dr Yompa

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