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Granted, but you received a nasty head injury previously that made you only enjoy the taste of poo.

I wish i had thought of something better to wish for in the last one, but i was running out of ideas for wishes and enjoying the granting.

granted, now you have absolutly nothing, so plenty to wish for, pity these wishs always come corrupted.


I wish I had won some money aon those scratch cards

granted, but no matter how much money you win you'll still never be able to spell and all the best teachers in the land can do nothing to help you

i wish i wasn't about to finish my lunch break

eLBe wrote:granted, now you have absolutly nothing, so plenty to wish for, pity these wishs always come corrupted.


I wish I had won some money aon those scratch cards

Granted but you only win a quid. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one. So you get another scratch card, and win a quid with that one.

Before you know it, your life has passed you by.

I wish I had something to do at work.

Edit: DAMN YOU BADGER.

granted, but someone sees you doing it and now you've been sacked for indecent exposure and gross misconduct.

i wish i didn't have a cold sore (i can see where this might go...)

granted.
it's collecting your personal stuff because you just got fired.


i wish i had my driving licence already

GrimeSceneInvestigation wrote:granted.
it's collecting your personal stuff because you just got fired.


i wish i had my driving licence already

Granted but by getting your licence without passing a test you are ill equipped to drive on busy roads and crash on your first unsupervised trip, paralysing you for life.

I wish the fire alarm would go off so I could get out of work for the afternoon.

Granted but the reason the alarm goes off is that you're on fire.

I wish for a lorry, full to the brim with a wide variety of size 10 air max 90s would crash near my house.

kins83 wrote:Granted but the reason the alarm goes off is that you're on fire.

I wish for a lorry, full to the brim with a wide variety of size 10 air max 90s would crash near my house.

granted but your excitment causees you feet to swell to size 11.


I wish i had more time for this game (so I could come up with some good corruptions)

Granted, but you are left repeatedly pressing F5, getting agitated at the lack of responses. Your frustration leads you fire off a barage of abuse at all of the ninjas, and are subsequently banned for life.

I wish I had tomorrow off work.

granted, but as you had just left the house the lorry crashes into you. Luckily, you don't die, but all of the trainers are in the most atrocious colourways, and i mean beyond the imagination of mortal man.

I wish i had a collection of tiny miniature cats

Damn, this is getting out of hand

Granted, but all of the miniature cats form together like Voltron to create MEGACAT. It sees you as nothing but a light snack and promptly eats you.

I wish for something really exciting, pleasant and uncorruptible to happen to me.

granted, badger takes a shit on your chest (exciting and pleasurable to some)

I wish I was a bit quicker at the game

eLBe wrote:granted, badger takes a shit on your chest (exciting and pleasurable to some)

I wish I was a bit quicker at the game

Granted, but now you are so quick at the game, that you are only corrupting your own wishes. Everyone else loses interest and you kill what has turned out to be a pretty entertaining thread.

I wish I could come home tonight to a massive medieval banquet being held in my lounge, and I'm the guest of honour.

granted, but being medieval their hygine standards arn't much and you get food poisoning that somehow result in erictile disfuntion for the rest of your life leaving you unable to satisfy you lust for the busty wenches that are serving you

I wish i had better posture

granted, but now you feel so enriched by your improved posture that you can't help but attempt to correct the postures of everyone else you know in a condescending manner while they're trying to do something more entertaining with themselves, and soon you find you're having to make all the calls if you want to meet up with mates as they all hate you behind your back but the reason is too trivial to justifiably cut you off completely.

I wish my work would sort out its vending machine situation

unlikely wrote:granted, but now you feel so enriched by your improved posture that you can't help but attempt to correct the postures of everyone else you know in a condescending manner while they're trying to do something more entertaining with themselves, and soon you find you're having to make all the calls if you want to meet up with mates as they all hate you behind your back but the reason is too trivial to justifiably cut you off completely.

I wish my work would sort out its vending machine situation

Granted but the only working vending machine is for those weird toothbrush ball things that you always see in motorway services toilets.

I wish I could go home right now.

Granted, but its full of smelly medieval types fighting and shitting on you floors whilst they eat all your food and drink all you booze and burn your telly and playstation as peices of witchcraft.


I wish my car was more economical

Granted but it's this:



I wish I'd got in at 9 today.

Granted, you did, but forgot you were on a 12 hour shift, nice.

I wish I was at home with a ufo in my garden.