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pooprick

im a fluffy girl with a fat soggy fanny mmmm yeah

I grabbed a rotting, dead bird one break time at school and wrapped it around my mate's face. That was pretty disgusting.

I had a nosebleed all over a sandwich I was eating and carried on eating it, with blood pouring down my face. People didn't like that.

I chewed a chunk out of my hand and ate it while I was on speed.

I shat down the back of my trousers by accident once. That was pretty bad. Fuck knows how I did it.

I saw my mate's 90 year old grandma taking a shit, naked.

Motorway to Roswell wrote: I saw my mate's 90 year old grandma taking a shit, naked.

i hope you hit that son?

noam wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote: I saw my mate's 90 year old grandma taking a shit, naked.

i hope you hit that son?

Nah. I opened the door and she looked up and made this horrible noise like "EURGH" and I was like "Fuck..sorry!" and shut the door quickly.

I sat in silence in my mate's room for about 10 minutes after that.

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

noam wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote: I saw my mate's 90 year old grandma taking a shit, naked.

i hope you hit that son?

Nah. I opened the door and she looked up and made this horrible noise like "EURGH" and I was like "Fuck..sorry!" and shut the door quickly.

I sat in silence in my mate's room for about 10 minutes after that.

but what were her tits like

stappard wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

noam wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote: I saw my mate's 90 year old grandma taking a shit, naked.

i hope you hit that son?

Nah. I opened the door and she looked up and made this horrible noise like "EURGH" and I was like "Fuck..sorry!" and shut the door quickly.

I sat in silence in my mate's room for about 10 minutes after that.

but what were her tits like

Answer this please

This thread is something. Some of you guys are sick. Although, when nature calls I don't think you can do much but answer it. I feel OCD now that I read your posts. When I used to go raving, I would pee right when I get there and keep a heap of paper in my purse. In case, I need to go later on.

I don't have a lot of any disgusting stories that happened to me. I've eaten the duck egg in the previous pages when I was younger, until (the past 5 years) I got a mature embryo and just didn't like the taste and texture of bones/feathers in my mouth . Puked it all out, now I only drink the liquid and eat the yellow and white yolk (with salt and pepper, yum! ). Being a traveler/Asian, I've eaten a lot of weird things.

This is the most disgusting that I've seen. Some relatives that I've met while visiting back home in the Philippines had a party and they found a worm inside the pig intestine. Then, they cooked it and ate it. The intestine, not the worm.



And my auntie ate these. They are soil crickets (or something).


Oh, and I've eaten these when I was young too. They are a day old chicken. They were really good then.


I hope I lightened this thread a bit with my food story. It was getting sicker by the minute with all the shitting and fisting . Just being sensible to those people reading this while eating.

call yourself a ninja eh...

noam wrote:call yourself a ninja eh...

I am Asian. Whether I like it or not, I am a ninja. I am SNH. So, thank you for this tribute.

I heard from a few Asian girlfriends that when they started their period, their grandma/moms made them wash themselves in a big bucket-like basin, and whatever water/blood/dirt got in the basin, they would wash it on their face . Don't know much about the rationale behind that.

What the fuckkkk
(More worthy of the thread as well!)

hayze99 wrote:

stappard wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

noam wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote: I saw my mate's 90 year old grandma taking a shit, naked.

i hope you hit that son?

Nah. I opened the door and she looked up and made this horrible noise like "EURGH" and I was like "Fuck..sorry!" and shut the door quickly.

I sat in silence in my mate's room for about 10 minutes after that.

but what were her tits like

Answer this please

They were as saggy as you'd expect. She was sat down but they were hanging pretty low. Looked like two leather oven mitts.

atleast13 wrote:
Oh, and I've eaten these when I was young too. They are a day old chicken. They were really good then.

That looks good.

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

hayze99 wrote:

stappard wrote:

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

noam wrote: i hope you hit that son?

Nah. I opened the door and she looked up and made this horrible noise like "EURGH" and I was like "Fuck..sorry!" and shut the door quickly.

I sat in silence in my mate's room for about 10 minutes after that.

but what were her tits like

Answer this please

They were as saggy as you'd expect. She was sat down but they were hanging pretty low. Looked like two leather oven mitts.

your face round the door

for fuck's sake. i can't even touch some of the shit that's in this thread.
honestly after reading i think i'm thankful for the lack of heinousness in my life thus far. the worst things have been going to bed absolutely smashed and waking up with my face and hair (and the pillow/bedsheets i was sleeping on) with a thick layer of vomit crust all over. i have a fleeting memory of laying down, getting the spinnies, letting it all out but being far too drunk to put in the effort to clean myself up. the worst part was the food chunks...

also, this is just a personal scarring event, but i had to sleep with mayonnaise in my hair twice when i was younger. i don't mean just a tablespoon of mayo to make my hair shiny, i mean like half can of the stuff slathered onto my scalp, covered with a showercap and then feeling my hair shift around all condiment like when i was trying to get to sleep. apparently it's lethal for lice because they drown in all the grease. but to this day i can't stand mayonnaise. even the sight of it. but especially the smell. i will never forget that pungent odor assaulting my nostrils every time i woke up in the night.

I once came into my kitchen in the morning and my Dad was naked, pissing in the kitchen sink.

Think someone took you for a ride, ever thought of nit-removing lotion?

nah, that stuff kinda works but just wasn't doing the trick... i have thick-ish hair so it was impossible to get all the little buggers demolished. not to mention who knows what kind of chemicals are in that shit being absorbed through your scalp. i was like 9 at the time and my mom tried everything, but nothing was as effective as the mayo.

Why didn't you just get all your hair shaved off?