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I remember going to visit one of my friends when we were young to play sega. Already as a child I had the habit of holding it in till the very last second and being timid and all, not wanting to ask where the bathroom is and dumping in someone else's house, I held it. Turns out mom was late off work so eventually I had to ask to use the bathroom. Scurry down the hall and open the door to see his mom on the can reading a magazine! She lets out a shriek and I waddle back to my friend's room, petrified.

So just as I finished filling up my pants with dookie, that real dark stanky tootsie roll kind of poo that can only come from a diet of chicken fingers and gummy bears, my mom shows up to pick me up. I was too scared to get up and walk through the living room till she called me a few times. Finally get out and my mom's in chatty mode, making conversation at the door. Meanwhile I'm hurrying her and trying to figure out how to stiff-leg walk up the stairs. My only memory after that was me standing in the bathtub while my mom repeated "I'm not mad."

^^^
oh wow

nice share

i liked taking dumps outside and my dog would eat it every time

I have to close the bathroom door when I take a piss because my dog will come in and watch. Fascinated by the act of pissing he'll edge closer and closer to he sticks his head under. He's only done it once but :\

Fun poo story.

One morning we wake up at a mates house. To find that his dog had jumped on the dining table and shat in front of each chair on the table and pissed all over the table during the night. Like he wanted to wish us a good morning by preparing us his own breakfast.

dog sounds like a top G

I have one warming up nicely. It is a good finger length from making it's bid for freedom, I could help it a long by giving it a bit of persuasion, but nah. I'll wait until I've cut the grass. The vibrations from the petrol mower and the hearty smell of cut grass should ensure a clean exit with minimum effort and very little 'stragglers'.

firky wrote:I have one warming up nicely. It is a good finger length from making it's bid for freedom, I could help it a long by giving it a bit of persuasion, but nah. I'll wait until I've cut the grass. The vibrations from the petrol mower and the hearty smell of cut grass should ensure a clean exit with minimum effort and very little 'stragglers'.

Never force dude.
It can cause piles.

The doctor told me that I should poo like a paraplegic.
Just let it come out when it`s ready.
No anal muscles make it easier of course.

This is a true story.
The doctor was dead serious.

What happened to the muscles in your anus?

Pootip: Don't wipe too hard or you will get tiny pieces of bogroll stuck in your arse and find them attached to your bum-hairs, nice and crusty, after a few weeks.

This thread is too much

Bro pro poo tip: Been camping? Or at Festival? Interrupted whilst wiping? Whatever the reason you have for a itchy crusty ring piece you can be sure that a little shaving foam on some thickly rolled toilet paper will have incrustation removed cleanly and effortlessly. Leaving your anal sphincter as fragrant as the shaving foam of your choice.

You know how kids often pee themselves while sleeping? Well I shat myself while sleeping.

Only happened once though, and they were some firm logs so they didn't get on the carpet as they were rolling out, on my way to the bathroom.

Raggles wrote:You know how kids often pee themselves while sleeping? Well I shat myself while sleeping.

Only happened once though, and they were some firm logs so they didn't get on the carpet as they were rolling out, on my way to the bathroom.

You said shat.

firky wrote:What happened to the muscles in your anus?

My anus muscles are just fine thanks.
He just chose to tell me that shit when he was about to stick his finger up my bumbum.

I`m not a paraplegic either, in case your thoughts are wondering.

Um... I wasn't!

Well, just laid the mother of all. One of those that actually makes your day feel better. Sitting on the toilet still, writing this beautiful moment in history.

f

i just took the massivest shit in the forest and im drinking a beer joking about the shit part