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Get a bottle of milk and pour/drink some so it looks like you've used it. Mix in a load of laxatives and leave it, wait for hilarity

Be all like, bruv you best put down my tingz den be all like imma have to pull out da skeng innit fam.

upstateface wrote:Be all like, bruv you best put down my tingz den be all like imma have to pull out da skeng innit fam.

DUN KNO yes fam.

missedthebus wrote:These little fuck pigs keep eating my cunting food, if its not my milk and eggs its eating the last of a pizza in the fridge and leaving one slice with a bite missing left. Im going fucking mental. I only moved in recently so I dont want to let the full wrath out on them yet and make them completely hate me, but SWEAR DOWN I catch someone eating my food again they're gonna get sparked.

So suggestions please Ninjas, how can I stop these thieving little fuck pigs from taking what is not theirs. Please suggest things which wont get me put in prison, or cause too much friction. Also things which are easy to do and very satisfying to reap the rewards - revenge - from.

Ah. Having lived in London houseshares for many years I have faced this problem many times. Retaliation is the only way I am afraid...

There is of course the obvious way, speaking to them about it and mentioning your disapproval, but this is not the way of the ninja. Revenge is the only way.

Take things that you will need, like a knife and fork for youself, maybe 1 or 2 plates and a 1 glass and cup. Now fetch a black bag and chuck EVERYTHING that is not yours in there. Toaster, all the cutlery, all the other food, cerial, Microwave, bread, plates, cups, glasses, fuckin' everything, and bury it deep in your back yard.

Leave a note saying: "Seeing as everyone loves to help themselves to my shit, I figured it was OK for me to do the same."

End of.

Sabotage / defecation.






Or maybe combine both?

ov3rdos3 wrote:

missedthebus wrote:These little fuck pigs keep eating my cunting food, if its not my milk and eggs its eating the last of a pizza in the fridge and leaving one slice with a bite missing left. Im going fucking mental. I only moved in recently so I dont want to let the full wrath out on them yet and make them completely hate me, but SWEAR DOWN I catch someone eating my food again they're gonna get sparked.

So suggestions please Ninjas, how can I stop these thieving little fuck pigs from taking what is not theirs. Please suggest things which wont get me put in prison, or cause too much friction. Also things which are easy to do and very satisfying to reap the rewards - revenge - from.

Ah. Having lived in London houseshares for many years I have faced this problem many times. Retaliation is the only way I am afraid...

There is of course the obvious way, speaking to them about it and mentioning your disapproval, but this is not the way of the ninja. Revenge is the only way.

Take things that you will need, like a knife and fork for youself, maybe 1 or 2 plates and a 1 glass and cup. Now fetch a black bag and chuck EVERYTHING that is not yours in there. Toaster, all the cutlery, all the other food, cerial, Microwave, bread, plates, cups, glasses, fuckin' everything, and bury it deep in your back yard.

Leave a note saying: "Seeing as everyone loves to help themselves to my shit, I figured it was OK for me to do the same."

End of.

haha pretty extreme but good idea!

I had a flat mate in my first year of uni when I was in halls who did a goodun, people kept using his scrubber jobby in the shower, so he left a note on the shower door along the lines of: "I know you all keep using my scrubber, well just to let you know I use the scrubber to clean my body, that includes my face, my back, my legs, my arse and my nob. So FYI if you like rubbing my nob all over your bodies please continue to use the scrubber. Thanks." It worked.

Im thinking along the idea of secret contamination, how can I give them botulism?

You can set em up, lace your food with visine eye drops. If wedding crashers has any truth to it, theyll be suffering from massive diarrhea.

But if you share a bathroom with them, you may not want this

Someone sent me this earlier, reminded me of this thread:



Btw that visine thing is real, or at least was. They might have changed the ingredients or something, but my dad has told me him and his work mates used to do that to his total prick of a boss many years back. Makes ya puke from your mouth though, not your asshole.

A. CHOP THEIR HANDS OFF
B. ADD LAXATIVES TO EVERYTHING IN YOUR FRIDGE AND KEEP YOUR FOOD IN YOUR ROOM ;0)

^^ THIS WAY YOU GET TO FIND OUT WHO'S STEALING IT

wormcode wrote:Someone sent me this earlier, reminded me of this thread:

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned dosing the food with a psychedelic yet.

alphacat wrote:I'm surprised nobody's mentioned dosing the food with a psychedelic yet.

I would prefer to find a dead bird in my cereal box than it containing LSD. Would be proper dangerous.

NilsFG wrote:

alphacat wrote:I'm surprised nobody's mentioned dosing the food with a psychedelic yet.

I would prefer to find a dead bird in my cereal box than it containing LSD. Would be proper dangerous.

put salvia in there cigarett

Laxatives.

I think you're overreacting. We have a free market for eggs and milk in our house. If you're out and it's raining outside and you're going to starve, then go ahead, but expect some missing eggs in the future.

Or go with the LSD thing.

work your food with a bit of liquid laxatives.

you'll find out soon enough who the thieving fuckers are

pull their mattress covers up, lay a sheet of cardboard down on the bed, cover with drawing pins then relay mattress cover

alphacat wrote:I'm surprised nobody's mentioned dosing the food with a psychedelic yet.

Haha that would probably only encourage it in a lot of cases. Almost more of a reward

True, but how about a combination of heavy duty laxatives AND heavy duty psychedelics? Boy, if that didn't freak ya out...

"I can't stop shitting and the shit is talking to me and telling me to go to Disneyland but I'm afraid to get up off the can but now the toilet is trying to eat me OH GOD MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!!"

So then ,, Any Updates On What you'v Done ! or Are they Still Tramping your food !