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Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

Haha that's disgusting

Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

sounds like a tnuc to me, i'd of decked him repeatedly

brasco wrote:

Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

sounds like a tnuc to me, i'd of decked him repeatedly

Yeah, I don't think I would have put up with that shit.

wolf89 wrote:

brasco wrote:

Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

sounds like a tnuc to me, i'd of decked him repeatedly

Yeah, I don't think I would have put up with that shit.

He's a big fucker and i'm little

Ennayess wrote:

wolf89 wrote:

brasco wrote:

Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

sounds like a tnuc to me, i'd of decked him repeatedly

Yeah, I don't think I would have put up with that shit.

He's a big fucker and i'm little

Find a bigger fucker then

Ennayess wrote:

wolf89 wrote:

brasco wrote:

Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

sounds like a tnuc to me, i'd of decked him repeatedly

Yeah, I don't think I would have put up with that shit.

He's a big fucker and i'm little

Just twat him with something then.

I've seen a dog puke it's own shit up on the owner's rug, also my mate drank pond water and then puked on a girl at a party.

Ennayess wrote:

wolf89 wrote:

brasco wrote:

Ennayess wrote:I lived with a guy who was a keen practical joker, the worst he got me with was wiping smeg on the cork end of a cigarette and offering it to me and spunking in my pasta that I had made for me coming home from work, I spewed all over the tnuc when he told me. He also has the urge to rusty hook people, myself included.

sounds like a tnuc to me, i'd of decked him repeatedly

Yeah, I don't think I would have put up with that shit.

He's a big fucker and i'm little

Smack him with a wrench.

When I got back to London after a long trip, I went to a mates and stayed up late getting completely stoned. I staggered into my place late at and got up to my room. While I had been away for a couple weeks, a bunch of mice and taken it upon themselves to move into my room. There was mouse shit all over the place. I ignored it and got nekked and jumped into bed. I realised at this point that they had made my bed their nest, and I had just jumped onto a massive mound of mouse shit. I passed out a couple minutes later without cleaning anything.

There's also the time I was looking for munchies at 6 in the morning in my bedroom in the dark, and found a pack of bread. I put it in my mouth, swallowed it, and felt something might not be right. I turned on the light and it was bright green, weeks and weeks old.

^^^ Okay.... You win. Thats too fucking gross

hayze99 wrote:There's also the time I was looking for munchies at 6 in the morning in my bedroom in the dark, and found a pack of bread. I put it in my mouth, swallowed it, and felt something might not be right. I turned on the light and it was bright green, weeks and weeks old.

ARGH that is rank
made me gag

JFK wrote:^^^ Okay.... You win. Thats too fucking gross

Ok wait til you hear this one then. When I first heard this, me and most people I knew thought it was just a rumour but it has been confirmed by a couple of people as real.

This girl and her fiancée were having sex, and he decided it was a good idea to put some chocolate buttons in before he had sex with her. He then had sex while they were inside her, then after decided to eat the chocolate buttons. While doing so he ate a "squidgy bit" (that was how it was described to me). A week or so later he got this massive throat infection, which he went to the doctors to see about. Turned out that the "squidgy bit" was actually a genital wart.

That's fucking gross.

Plus he fucked her so he gets some extra warts on his dick.

Fucking hell.............

There are some foul people in the world. Puting chocolate buttons inside your mussus before you bone her?? WTF??

TL_ wrote:
This girl and her fiancée were having sex, and he decided it was a good idea to put some chocolate buttons in before he had sex with her. He then had sex while they were inside her, then after decided to eat the chocolate buttons. While doing so he ate a "squidgy bit" (that was how it was described to me). A week or so later he got this massive throat infection, which he went to the doctors to see about. Turned out that the "squidgy bit" was actually a genital wart.

That is fucked.

yuck.

my toilet was once broken, so me and my mate who was living with me at the time had to use a bucket and a plastic bag (for a #2). needless to say he slapped me across the face full pelt with a bag full of his warm soft shit in.

fucking lol thinking back, we did use to piss in each others baths to get revenge on each other

Last summer. Got drunk at a outdoor gig. Had to pee, so found myself a ditch. Lost my balance while peeing, fell into the ditch filled with water and potentially my own pee...

Two of my mates snuck into one of their younger brother's rooms whilst he was asleep and wanked on each side of his pillow, either side of his head.

gwa wrote:yuck.

my toilet was once broken, so me and my mate who was living with me at the time had to use a bucket and a plastic bag (for a #2). needless to say he slapped me across the face full pelt with a bag full of his warm soft shit in.

fucking lol thinking back, we did use to piss in each others baths to get revenge on each other

A few contributions. 'Nothing human disgusts me' hah

-Level 10 friction burn on my nob from a girl's nylon knickers
-Snapped my banjo string and took me twenty minutes to realise as I thought my bird was just 'on her period'
-Mashed as fuck once, struggling to make a fry up for a few mates after a club night, cracking eggs for frying and a stillborn chicken fell into the pan
-Camping ona hill at a festival, caught my mate trying to shit in a carrier bag in my tent, so ina drunken rage drop kicked him from outside the tent causing him to spiral downhill in a tent with a bag of shit. Was worth sacrificing the tent for the pricless look of some stool monster crawling out at the bottom

I got some more that are proper rank, but sadly arn't really entertaining

Motorway to Roswell wrote:

TL_ wrote:
This girl and her fiancée were having sex, and he decided it was a good idea to put some chocolate buttons in before he had sex with her. He then had sex while they were inside her, then after decided to eat the chocolate buttons. While doing so he ate a "squidgy bit" (that was how it was described to me). A week or so later he got this massive throat infection, which he went to the doctors to see about. Turned out that the "squidgy bit" was actually a genital wart.

That is fucked.

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