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Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:18 pm
by firky
http://www.northumberlandgazette.co.uk/
Published on Thursday 16 June 2011 11:34
EMPTY POOLS: A disappointed holidaymaker has called for Amble’s disused paddling pools to be refilled, branding the situation a ‘total disgrace’.
In a letter to the town council, Mrs J Hubbuck, from Winlaton, near Gateshead, said that her grandchildren were upset because they could not play in the water – like their parents had done years ago – as the facilities were dry.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:18 pm
by Kochari
My local paper had these headlines (no pictures sadly):
"I'LL CHOP YOUR FINGERS OFF SAYS BUTCHER BOY"
"PUDDLE SPLASH VICTIM VOWS REVENGE"
"DUNK IN CHARGE OF TODDER" (sic)
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:30 pm
by Badman Juice
TL_ wrote:Surely once you open the pack and see it spilling all over the floor you would realise you didn't have a pack of cookies, OAP or not...
it's almost as if journalists invent stories when they've got nothing to print.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 4:02 pm
by Filthzilla
Lichee wrote:A group of OAPs were left with a nasty taste in their mouths after mistaking packs of soil for cookies.
LMAO!
Me and my gf saw those soil-pack things Lurpack were giving out and thought they looked just like cookies! [We knew they weren't obviously...]
But they really do look like choc chip marylands.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:59 pm
by dubloke
Trainrek wrote:That's Brighton for you.
Oh and dubloke just to let you know I keep seeing your name on flyers everywhere.
haha cheers, yeah been getting around a fair bit recently! you should come down to one mate, probs get you concession/ guestlist? not got many in the coming weeks tbf, was meant to be playing that Claude Von Stroke and Pearson Sound night but im flying to spain the next day
and yeah the argus gives me so much jokes, my favourite was "KNIFE MANIAC KILLS HORSE"
edit:
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:15 pm
by Liam92
dubloke wrote:Trainrek wrote:That's Brighton for you.
Oh and dubloke just to let you know I keep seeing your name on flyers everywhere.
haha cheers, yeah been getting around a fair bit recently! you should come down to one mate, probs get you concession/ guestlist? not got many in the coming weeks tbf, was meant to be playing that Claude Von Stroke and Pearson Sound night but im flying to spain the next day
and yeah the argus gives me so much jokes, my favourite was "KNIFE MANIAC KILLS HORSE"
edit:
This paper
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:17 pm
by Redderious
No joke, i made it in my local newspaper by sticking a desk chair in a tree.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:28 pm
by TomatoAndBasil
Brighton & Hove Argus
dubloke wrote:haha cheers, yeah been getting around a fair bit recently!
Saw you at the Outlook night at Concorde 2. Was gonna say hi, but you looked a bit out of it near the end.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:30 pm
by Shum
Redderious wrote:No joke, i made it in my local newspaper by sticking a desk chair in a tree.
celebrity whore.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:48 pm
by Redderious
Shum wrote:Redderious wrote:No joke, i made it in my local newspaper by sticking a desk chair in a tree.
celebrity whore.
Sorry man, people know me. Nothing I can do about it.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 8:18 pm
by exfox
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 8:18 pm
by exfox
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 8:45 pm
by kidshuffle
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:32 pm
by profound
this is the funniest topic ever. seriously
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:52 pm
by NilsFG
I want a subscription on The Argus.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:54 pm
by kay
The Argus is win.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:33 am
by Redderious
Haha uh... what?
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:37 pm
by Shum
WOMEN FLOCK TO TAKE HORSE SEMEN SHOTS
Apple-infused horse semen shots might not be an obvious chaser to spring rolls, but they are causing a stir at the Green Man Pub where they are being served.
The shots are part of the central Wellington pub's entry in the nationwide 14th annual Monteith's Beer & Wild Food Challenge.
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:13 pm
by dubloke
Argus you do us proud
Re: Want to see how shit my local newspaper is?
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:14 pm
by dubloke
mesmerised by shums avatar
