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Did your mum send you to John Lewis for an ironing board and you came back with a quad bike, a Scalectrix and a tennis table?
"Yes. But not a tennis table, it was a trampoline."

wub wrote:

Did your mum send you to John Lewis for an ironing board and you came back with a quad bike, a Scalectrix and a tennis table?
"Yes. But not a tennis table, it was a trampoline."

magma wrote:

kingGhost wrote:yeah I thought the bully thing was confirmed to be untrue.

Awwww...

Did you give a tramp £1,000 after winning in the casino?
"Never"

Is it true a young lad turned up at the training ground asking for your autograph and, when asked why he wasn't at school, he said he was being bullied, so you took him to school and spoke to the headmaster?
"No. It's not true I took him to school. I tell him why he wasn't at school but not took him to school."

Did your mum send you to John Lewis for an ironing board and you came back with a quad bike, a Scalectrix and a tennis table?
"Yes. But not a tennis table, it was a trampoline."

Are you allergic to a specific kind of grass?
"I'm allergic to the dry grass, not the green one, the brown one."

Did you go to church on Xmas Eve and put £1,000 in the collection plate?
"I put some money in but not a thousand."

Did you go to the pub in Wythenshawe and buy everyone a drink?
"No"

Did you go to a petrol station and pay for everyone's petrol?
"No, not true."

Did you drive around Manchester dressed as Santa handing out money?
"No."

The "because I'm rich" one reminds me of a Jack Nicholson story... apparently Jack was in a restaurant in NYC just after the smoking ban came in. Dude finishes his meal and lights up a massive cigar at which point a waiter comes over and reminds him of the smoking ban... Jack tells him to get lost. Waiter comes back telling him that the police will be called if he carries on smoking:

"How much is the fine?"
"$5000" (or something)
*pulls $5k out of wallet, hands it to waiter* "Now, fuck off and let me smoke in peace".

No doubt it's been embellished over time, but I want it to be true.

wub wrote:Setting off fireworks from his kitchen/bathroom and the fire brigade being called

Lucifa wrote:

PinUp wrote:

wub wrote:Setting off fireworks from his kitchen/bathroom and the fire brigade being called

I heard he was the face of a firework safety campaign at the time as well

Johnlenham wrote:

PinUp wrote:

wub wrote:Setting off fireworks from his kitchen/bathroom and the fire brigade being called

I heard he was the face of a firework safety campaign at the time as well

I heard that the otherday , cant for the life of me remember who said it to me though.

noam wrote:when a postman delivers letters, does he take his shirt off and pose for the camera's??

poor man's Cantona.

(he is a bit of a Gtho tbf)

danrev wrote:
Jens was the last I can think of