Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:30 am
Where did you find such a fetching picture of me?Donkey wrote:BLZDub wrote:Ah shucks. I have only met you in dark clubs, in the natural light I'm hideous. My hands are huge though...?
Page 11 of 12
Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:43 am
Delendi's bedroom 
Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:44 am
eh? what about it?
Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:45 am
OOOOOOOOH that's where u found the lovely picture. no it isn't, titbag
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:46 am
do you believe in love @ 1st sight or do i have to walk by again??
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:47 am
add "you tnuc" for good measure
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:49 am
"Shall we skip all this talking stuff and just go grab a cab now"
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:45 am
Oh fucking lol.Corpsey wrote:''have you got star wars knickers on?''
''why?''
''because I get turned on by small green ugly things... incidentally, I really fancy you you fucking tiny green bastard''
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:50 am
What's that one I heard off of Tony Hawk's....
"Nice legs...what time do they open?" or summin'.
"Nice legs...what time do they open?" or summin'.
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:46 pm
This had probably been said, but you know how when theres two girls out on a night out, one is fit and one really isnt.
You go up to the ugly one and ask "Would you like to dance?" Not believing her luck she'll stand up and say "Yes!" which is when you say "Well fuck off and do it then so I can talk to your mate."
You go up to the ugly one and ask "Would you like to dance?" Not believing her luck she'll stand up and say "Yes!" which is when you say "Well fuck off and do it then so I can talk to your mate."
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:07 pm
or if there is 2 fat girls, its normally customary to shoutDanRev wrote:This had probably been said, but you know how when theres two girls out on a night out, one is fit and one really isnt.
You go up to the ugly one and ask "Would you like to dance?" Not believing her luck she'll stand up and say "Yes!" which is when you say "Well fuck off and do it then so I can talk to your mate."
"oi sugar, not you the other lump!"
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A JOKE, PLEASE DONT TAKE OFFENCE..
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:42 pm
BUMP.
For diss' (and my) delight.
For diss' (and my) delight.
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:15 am
Great thread.
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 7:34 pm
If i flip a coin whats the chance of me getting head?
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 7:37 pm
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 9:30 pm
I only ever come to this forum to read this thread when I have a date coming up.
"Do you like dry biscuits? Then eat this... *gets out penis* it's a cracker"
"Do you like dry biscuits? Then eat this... *gets out penis* it's a cracker"
Re:
Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 10:48 pm
stanton wrote:Upon approaching a lady of diminutive stature one should compliment her on slenderness and aesthetically pleasing ambience, reassuring her that height is not an issue and that polite gentlemen, such as yourself, have a great fondness for ladies of a petite nature.
If this approach seems to be winning favour, then take the afore mentioned lady for a drink and continue to compliment her on her appearance and general demure.
At this juncture one should now begin to lay focus upon specific parts of the ladies body, especially the hands. Perhaps make a playful comparison between your hands and hers, just for fun but to also show how manly you are.
This is the crux of the chat up situation, this is when you need to make your move. Whilst complimenting her on her meagre hand span, use these exact words...
"My dick would look massive in your hands."
Guaranteed to work.
Co-authored by Misters Stanton and BLZDub, 27-05-08
oh my, too much
Re: Re:
Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 10:58 pm
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAA i gotta remember that 1 for the future, spesh coz i do have a thing for the smaller womanstanton wrote:Upon approaching a lady of diminutive stature one should compliment her on slenderness and aesthetically pleasing ambience, reassuring her that height is not an issue and that polite gentlemen, such as yourself, have a great fondness for ladies of a petite nature.
If this approach seems to be winning favour, then take the afore mentioned lady for a drink and continue to compliment her on her appearance and general demure.
At this juncture one should now begin to lay focus upon specific parts of the ladies body, especially the hands. Perhaps make a playful comparison between your hands and hers, just for fun but to also show how manly you are.
This is the crux of the chat up situation, this is when you need to make your move. Whilst complimenting her on her meagre hand span, use these exact words...
"My dick would look massive in your hands."
Guaranteed to work.
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 11:27 pm
"Shit I ain't really tryna fuck, I just want some head."
My dad told me the story of a friend of his who once went up to a girl who had repeatedly turned down legions of sweaty suitors, poured some of her beer (!!!) into his cup and said...
"I'd really like to bite you on the ass."
Being a woman of high standards, she replied with "Can we finish our beers first?"
Absolute legend.
My dad told me the story of a friend of his who once went up to a girl who had repeatedly turned down legions of sweaty suitors, poured some of her beer (!!!) into his cup and said...
"I'd really like to bite you on the ass."
Being a woman of high standards, she replied with "Can we finish our beers first?"
Absolute legend.
Re: Great chat up lines
Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 7:31 pm
My mate once went up to a girl and said "ever had your boobs weighed?"
She said no
He proceeded to bounce them about with his hands and go "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"
She said no
He proceeded to bounce them about with his hands and go "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"