Dubstepforum.com

gwa wrote:put straw right to the back of your nose.. as in all the way up.. pains me to watch people only hover it under their nose.

dubfordessert wrote:

ultraspatial wrote:

dubfordessert wrote:cant get out of bed or make food. i dont think i have any food anyway. but i cant go to the shop or get it together to order something (which i can't afford anyway cos i wasted all my money trying to be normal and made myself ill, cool)

wut?

nothing. just spent a lot of money on travel, eating out, tickets etc only to crash hard just cos i tried to do too much stuff, even though a normal person could do it and be fine.

now i'm depressed as all hell and people hate me, apparently enough to tell me to kill myself and compare me to a cancerous tumour

i thought i'd made a lot of progress this year but this weekend has proved i've made none. sorry to everyone who has been hurt by something i've said or who i've gone OTT at. all i wanted to get across was that i'm sick and not coping.

i really just want to move on from all the shit thats happened in my life but i can't because it's still having a knock on effect on everything that happens in my life. i can't deal with going back and see my family, and even when i do i can only see my little brother for an hour at a time now, with supervision, because he's been taken away from my family, and the main memories i have of him are of changing him or feeding him or looking after him while scared shitless cos my mum's getting beaten up in another room. i really miss him but thinking about him just means thinking about all this and how shit his life has been through NO fault of his own, ever since he's been born all he's had is people hitting each other in front of him or hitting him or bullying him and then blaming him, being taken away from his family, walking around in broken shoes, having a mother in and out of psych hospital, all the effects it has had on him, he's not even been given a chance to grow up, his mental development is fucked, his emotions and behaviour are all fucked, and then when he's an adult people like the fucking tories will blame him for the way he is and defund even the rudimentary services that kept us going growing up.

and i promised my mum i would go on a court date with her to try and get him back and i'm just super worried about everything, worried that they will cut her benefits or that she will get sick again and won't get him back and then i will have to deal with the stress of that. and she's super difficult to deal with even though she used to be a nice person because she got fucked over by my brothers dad.

and things will always be like this and i don't have anyone to fall back on to help me out cos these are the people i'm supposed to be falling back on?! and i'm trying to sort myself out and keep a roof over my head and live a good life and i can't even do that anymore because trying to do the bare minimum that someone normal does in their everyday life exhausts me and makes me depressed and i can't even function. so what is the point?

i lose all my friends because they don't want to deal with my bullshit and who can blame them, i don't want to deal with my bullshit either but i can't abdicate responsibility for it like they can. i can't choose to have a different life. i know i whine a lot about everyday bullshit that doesn't mean much but i really try not to go on about the shit that actually gets me down that much otherwise i would be here all day every day, and i know there's no point going over the same things that are in the past, so sorry if every so often it gets a bit much for me and i go all out whining attention seeker. i'd really just rather be normal, i really would.

nvm. i had a good run, been cool knowing some of you guys.

Nevalo wrote:I swear i go through the same shit of not being able to score every other week...

& i honestly wouldn't care if my body wasn't giving me grief at the moment.

jayladders wrote:

Nevalo wrote:I swear i go through the same shit of not being able to score every other week...

& i honestly wouldn't care if my body wasn't giving me grief at the moment.

Are you talking about sex? If so how is your body giving you grief?

Nevalo wrote:

jayladders wrote:

Nevalo wrote:I swear i go through the same shit of not being able to score every other week...

& i honestly wouldn't care if my body wasn't giving me grief at the moment.

Are you talking about sex? If so how is your body giving you grief?

no no no... score weed

ehbrums1 wrote:

Nevalo wrote:

jayladders wrote:

Nevalo wrote:I swear i go through the same shit of not being able to score every other week...

& i honestly wouldn't care if my body wasn't giving me grief at the moment.

Are you talking about sex? If so how is your body giving you grief?

no no no... score weed

Ps booze are better