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I don't really drink that much, you see

Ikea with a Funktion One system.

A wall of speakers would introduce very unpredictable phase differences

Anyway, I'd go with a nice line-array system. 'Dark' industrial feel, no fancy lights.

LumiNiscent wrote:Ikea with a Funktion One system.

I was in a Carpet Right in Hackney, full of Turbosound & Void a few months back, close enough?

Pedro Sánchez wrote:The DJ is hidden in a blackbox and everybody has to dance in a giant circle facing inwards

??

LOL

Strobe lights. Strobe lights everywhere.

Leather. Lots of it.

Speakers. That play: Noisecore, Grindcore, Dubstep, Two Step Garage, Ambient, and ElectroHouse.

No beer. It's nasty.

S&M Themed. Ball gags, hand-cuffs, whips, etc.

Full time lighting, sound, a visual engineers. A strict door policy like Berghain. Resident, friendly dealer. That's all.

I'd just be happy if it had a valid seating area. Not enough club have a good seating area for when your legs are knackered and you need a rest.

A massive forrest adventure in a giant dome. DJ's from a secret treehouse that you can find, loads of big stacks hidden around the forrest, void bassbins with f1 tops.

AxeD wrote:A wall of speakers would introduce very unpredictable phase differences

Anyway, I'd go with a nice line-array system. 'Dark' industrial feel, no fancy lights.

digital newcastle has one upstairs, works well actually

finji wrote:

Pedro Sánchez wrote:The DJ is hidden in a blackbox and everybody has to dance in a giant circle facing inwards

??

Yes but suspend that above the crowd so they don't get tempted to stare at it, the point was to remove the image of the DJ that mongs stand and drool at and discourage the ego in the booth. Maybe even a fully mirror'd box.

Oh yes I forgot to mention; my club would have no strobes. They can be fun for a few seconds but LJ's tend to overuse (did I say overuse? I mean abuse) them.

It would be like the water temple

NilsFG wrote:Oh yes I forgot to mention; my club would have no strobes. They can be fun for a few seconds but LJ's tend to overuse (did I say overuse? I mean abuse) them.

how else do you keep the epileptics out though?
i enjoy them when im trollied i have to say, only at a bro night though

JTMMusicuk wrote:

NilsFG wrote:Oh yes I forgot to mention; my club would have no strobes. They can be fun for a few seconds but LJ's tend to overuse (did I say overuse? I mean abuse) them.

how else do you keep the epileptics out though?
i enjoy them when im trollied i have to say, only at a bro night though

I hate them with a passion just because they get overused all the time.
I especially hate them when my brain is traversing outer space.

Strobes suck

I would love a minimalist kinda thing. Lots of smoke, maybe 2-3 lasers to barely pierce through it. Pitch fucking dark though.

Naan Bread wrote:everyone is handed masks and robes at the door and there are no lights and no music

hmmm
dark groping no less
could be sexy...

Mine's incipient
but only accessible to ninjas
who make the journey

perfect acoustics
sub-bass clarity
sieving out all but one's essential being

within a cellar
lined with living timber
for perfect reverberation

to flower in a morning's aura
softly spreading over grasslands
in a remote, unfeted land.

not enough rhymes

havent thought about the club but the exit is a very narrow dark claustrophobic corridor with a piercing strobe and subs on either side to ward off leavers without being subjected to heart palpitations.