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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:07 pm
by dubloke
Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML
edit:
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:18 pm
by dubloke
Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML
This site is gold!!!
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:21 pm
by -dubson-
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class i did the same thing to him, he broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team, nobody laughed. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and proceeded to clog an industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she proceeded to run out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:59 am
by en ami
-Dubson- wrote:Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML
[/quote]
baaahahaha
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:34 pm
by dubloke
Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so i go to skip it but accidently unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
Listening to Kinky maybe
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:06 pm
by elbe
Got to be a favourit so far
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 4:09 pm
by magma
Dubloke wrote:Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML
Ouuuuuucccchhh!
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:02 pm
by 999
theyre all written in the exact same style and format
im thinkin total bullshit
Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:56 pm
by ryusaki
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 3:08 pm
by thump rat
Dubloke wrote:Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so i go to skip it but accidently unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
Listening to Kinky maybe
This was me... I was listening to Data - Blow (remix) off the metro area fabric mix :S