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i woke up and was like there is no way. the bathroom was so vivid and clear. but it was undeniable.
atleast it wasnt a drunken shit

Motorway to Roswell wrote:I dropped acid at home before a party and decided to go for a shit. Managed to block the toilet, get the entire shit stuck on the bog brush and fling it all over the bathroom whilst tripping my balls off and trying to pull my jeans up.

hahaha, at my old office my boss blocked the toilet twice by doing mega shits, it was hilarious

Wow, you all are pretty sick. And I don't mean that as "awesome" sick, but rather "disturbed, please go seek professional help" sick.

And I'm sure someone else has probably said it, but reading this thread is probably the most disgusting thing that's happened to me. I don't really have any good stories involving myself (that I'm willing to divulge), but I do have one that gets retold multiple times in my circle of friends.

Several years back, when we were all still in college, a good friend of mine took a shit which ended up clogging his toilet. Since he didn't have a plunger or anything in his room, he used a spoon that he swiped from the dining hall to clear out the "blockage". So he clears it out, puts the spoon aside, and goes about his business.

Enter his roommate's girlfriend, holding a container of yogurt, but has nothing to eat it with.....

"Oh what's that over here??"

Before my friend turned around, she was already a couple bites into her yogurt w/ the tainted spoon. He doesn't say anything, and just lets her finish.

I see him later that night, and he says "I HAVE THE BEST FUCKING STORY TO TELL YOU!"

i was eating a girl out and she ripped a huge fart in my face... lets just say i was pretty pissed...

still traumatized til this day

hahaha my mum knew Ricky Ricardo

i always quote RA Rugged Man - 'ricky ricardo ridiculous'

thanks

i dream piss sometimes too.... always catch myself partway through which is almost worse

belalala wrote:i dream piss sometimes too.... always catch myself partway through which is almost worse

that sucks

i did it once when i was about 12 and it still makes me sad when i think about it.

wtf are you supposed to do when you wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself pissing on your fireplace

When I was 6 or even younger I once pissed in my bed and blamed a dream.
I did it so I could sleep in my parents' waterbed.

I regret nothing.

I'd piss myself to sleep with yo' moms too.

wubstep wrote:I'd piss myself to sleep with yo' moms too.

I bet you would you sick fuck.

this thread is hilarious @the guy who stepped in dog shit bare foot... i can relate, i was once tearing along on a push bike in the south london area (a fair bit of dog shit can be found there) any way quite young at the time and it was a mates new bike with brakes that actually worked as opposed to my crappy bmx which using your feet tended to be the choice of braking method, so i slammed on the front brake not thinking and the bike stopped dead... i went head first over the handle bars and landed in a pile of dog shit....

bump

My aunt found a tooth in a packet of Walker's crisps not too long back.

Dead Rats wrote:My aunt found a tooth in a packet of Walker's crisps not too long back.

Lawsuit?

i was at a party and someone passed me a can of dr pepper while i was bunning a zoot, i thought it was for my cotton mouth...apparently it was an ashtray....nobody saw me swig it though so i swallowed my mouthfull and went on with my day..

JTMMusicuk wrote:i was at a party and someone passed me a can of dr pepper while i was bunning a zoot, i thought it was for my cotton mouth...apparently it was an ashtray....nobody saw me swig it though so i swallowed my mouthfull and went on with my day..

You sound like the type of guy who can chew a mouthful of bees.

I cant believe it has nearly been a year since I read this. Epic thread.

Had to get a train from Prague to Krakow when i was 18. I still had a banger of a hangover from the night before and had just eaten 2 big macs. Had to spend the whole journey in the toilets which were proper grim like nothing ive ever seen, litterally shit all over the walls and floor. Couldnt leave beacuse my stomach was trying to empty itself every few minutes. No joke the worst 8 hours of my life

edit wrong thread

jesus. fucking. christ. this thread.

had the noro virus on the way to the airport once. shit myself a little bit with my mum and grandad in the front. not too big to admit that whilst i was in the back puking and squitsing into my pants i was crying. my mum laughed about it. she got the virus the next day. wasnt laughing after that!