Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:50 am
I just woke up. (again)
Its 7:34 pm here.
Valentines day evening. I don't have a valentine (well, my pets... and I'd opt to say i'm my own valentine), in fact my best friend was supposed to come over for dinner and just flaked on me. kinna bums me out but oh well. don't wanna spend my energy being bummed out right now.
I am feeling a little bit better then I have been lately. There is a possibility of me seeing a different doctor sooner through my job, as soon as next week. They can hook me up with a specialist seeing as its the Med Center n all, that is if they choose to help me and not just turn me away because I have a disease most likely, and am not workers comp (like they did last time I went there for help) .
Also, I should have read more carefully the discharge forms from the hospital, they may have actually figured out whats wrong with me. (Ruptured disk in the spinal chord) and I got an email from my aunt who has arranged for me to see a doctor for free (her ex husband, my cousins dad) and since he is personally invested in me and known me my entire life, and a very good doctor, he may help me as well. I really hope so. this illness/situation makes me extremely depressed. Plus, earlier today I couldn't feel my hands at all, but just now I was wresting with the pup and he nipped my hand and it actually hurt! Normally this would be displeasing but this time around made me feel very relieved.
I think things are looking up for me post-nap because pre-nap i told myself that I have to be more nurturing and attentive to my condition, not just succumb to it but very much try and help it. It is hard to DO anything other then rest because i'm sooo low energy, and trying to trudge through school, and when i do things, anything, any and every activity, my condition worsens, but regardless i have to treat myself as if i were someone i love who needs to be taken care of, and to tell my body to heal... and to give it whatever it needs to heal energetically wise. And not be depressed baout it, because that doesn't help.
Donno if anyone cares on here but you all seem very kind and intelligent, seems some nice ppl have taken an interest. I do appreciate that. It is nice to know that there are people out there who can be loving without having ever even met me, as well people who love me who know me well. A lot of people I love too
. That is a nice thought for this corporate holiday that is supposed to be about love at its core.
kind of an earful, or an eyeful rather.
cliffs : i feel a bit better happy valentines evening
Its 7:34 pm here.
Valentines day evening. I don't have a valentine (well, my pets... and I'd opt to say i'm my own valentine), in fact my best friend was supposed to come over for dinner and just flaked on me. kinna bums me out but oh well. don't wanna spend my energy being bummed out right now.
I am feeling a little bit better then I have been lately. There is a possibility of me seeing a different doctor sooner through my job, as soon as next week. They can hook me up with a specialist seeing as its the Med Center n all, that is if they choose to help me and not just turn me away because I have a disease most likely, and am not workers comp (like they did last time I went there for help) .
Also, I should have read more carefully the discharge forms from the hospital, they may have actually figured out whats wrong with me. (Ruptured disk in the spinal chord) and I got an email from my aunt who has arranged for me to see a doctor for free (her ex husband, my cousins dad) and since he is personally invested in me and known me my entire life, and a very good doctor, he may help me as well. I really hope so. this illness/situation makes me extremely depressed. Plus, earlier today I couldn't feel my hands at all, but just now I was wresting with the pup and he nipped my hand and it actually hurt! Normally this would be displeasing but this time around made me feel very relieved.
I think things are looking up for me post-nap because pre-nap i told myself that I have to be more nurturing and attentive to my condition, not just succumb to it but very much try and help it. It is hard to DO anything other then rest because i'm sooo low energy, and trying to trudge through school, and when i do things, anything, any and every activity, my condition worsens, but regardless i have to treat myself as if i were someone i love who needs to be taken care of, and to tell my body to heal... and to give it whatever it needs to heal energetically wise. And not be depressed baout it, because that doesn't help.
Donno if anyone cares on here but you all seem very kind and intelligent, seems some nice ppl have taken an interest. I do appreciate that. It is nice to know that there are people out there who can be loving without having ever even met me, as well people who love me who know me well. A lot of people I love too
. That is a nice thought for this corporate holiday that is supposed to be about love at its core. kind of an earful, or an eyeful rather.
cliffs : i feel a bit better
happy valentines evening 
