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i finished cooking and eating my food before cleaning it up

finji wrote: fucking hell that is properly grim lloydy

Beyond grim,in a way shouldn't really laugh but when he left he went through my back alley way because there was no way i was letting him through the house.Down the alley way he had there was a bit of a lump in the concrete so he had to pull a bit of a wheelie and he fell backwards He never hurt himself (other than his pride) but honestly in the back of my mind i was thinking that will teach ya for shatting all over my house

pikeymobile wrote:i finished cooking and eating my food before cleaning it up

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

pikeymobile wrote:i once shat myself
in the kitchen
whilst wearing nothing but a dressing gown
it had the consistency of yoghurt and shot out at high velocity

Fuck sake Pikey, sort yourself out.

how does it feel knowing you've stood barefoot on that floor?

I hate you

teamhobson wrote: Youre a trooper for not even caring JTM, took me an hour to blaze that joint again cause it reminded me of what had happened

I have a high threshhold for most things tbh, i once drank a pint of water quarter full with salt and quarter full with pepper in one for a dare...didnt even win anything...

herbs wrote:

belalala wrote:i dream piss sometimes too.... always catch myself partway through which is almost worse

HOW DID I MISS THIS GEM??

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

lolwut

i've got 2, but they are nothing compared too even the least bad thing in this thread haha (great read, btw.)

when i was younger, slept over a mate house, pissed the bed, hahahaha, randomly too, like i'd passed the whole pissing beds stage, anyway, they still don't know why there is a proper massive piss stain on one of their mattresses hahaha..

last year, was high as shit (was like my second time with a zoot) smoked it way too fast, got on a 2nd joint, also smoked too fast, hour later i vomited, fell asleep in the vomit because it was warm, like a pillow... hahaha

i accidentally pissed on my jeans on a first date at her bathroom from semen build up, we had to do my laundry together

i titty bangd her that nite

Have a mate who would always piss in empty ice tea bottles so... Yeah... Just spilled the piss I had in my mouth on his room's floor while he wasn't looking.

Rönin wrote:Have a mate who would always piss in empty ice tea bottles

you what now??

I remember when I was like 16 or something we went on a little 3-day fieldtrip with school and stayed at some sort of bungallow park or whatever for 2 nights.
And of course, since everyone was around the age of 15-16 and had just discovered alcohol, the first thing we did when we had arrived was go to the supermarket in the nearby village and bought a shitload of liquor.

So the first night was quite alright, didn't drink too much and nothing major had happened, but the second night we decided to go absolutely apeshit en get massively drunk because it was our last night there...
And so we did.
Also, because my mate had brought his little hi-fi set with him in his suitcase and we thus were the only house that had decent music, pretty much everyone was at our place and had brought their stash of beverages.
So by the end of the night I was really unbelievably drunk because everyone was handing eachother shots, beers, entire bottles etc etc.

Anyway, at some point that night I woke up because I felt my arm was getting wet... When I came to my senses a bit I realised that I was leaning on the little night stand inbetween me and my mates bed (there were 2 rooms, one with 2 normal beds where me and a mate slept and another with 2 bunkbeds where another 4 of our mates slept) and had apparently been vomitting all over my arm.
So my mate wakes up and asks me what I was doing, "oh. nothing" I replied. I got up and went to the bathroom to clean my arm. When I came back to the room I noticed that my mate was like shoveling my sick with a dustpan and brush and emptying it in the bin. I turned around and went into the other bedroom (I knew one of the beds was empty cos one of my mates had pulled a girl and was sleeping with her) and continued my sleeping in one of the empty beds.
A while later 2 of my mates woke me up to tell me that they had cleaned my room, "alright" I said, got up and went back to my room, got back in my own bed and fell asleep again.

When I woke up the next morning I felt like absolute shit. I took a look around the room and noticed that my blanket had a massive red stain on it from my vommit (I had been drinking some sort of red liquor all night so I hope it was because of that and not blood or something), also I was stupid enough to leave my suitcase open inbetween the two beds so I had been vomitting right into that, all over my clean clothes.
When I got out of bed to take a piss I noticed that I had left vommit all over the bungallow, there was vommit on the light switches, on the door handles, all over the floor in the living room. It was truly an absolute mess.

The shitty thing, however, was that when we got into the bungallows we had to pay the teachers a 5 euro guarantor (?) and if we wouldn't break anything and leave the house in correct state when we left after the 3 days we would get that back, but it was like 9am when we woke up and we knew that the teachers and the owner of the park would come to inspect the place at 9:30 to see if we could get our money back...
So we quickly cleaned the entire place with toilet paper (while being massively hungover) and I folded my dirty blanket up so that the massive stain (which we couldn't get out) was in the middle of the folded up 'package', hoping that no1 would open the blanket up again.
How we pulled it off, I don't know, but luckily they didn't notice a thing and we got our money back.

(And of course I thanked my 2 mates for cleaning the room and apologised for being such a dick earlier that night.)

However, because it was the final day of the field trip, the teachers had planned something "exciting" for us and they thought it would be fun to take us to a local amusement park for the rest of the day...
It was like an hour long drive with a bus to get there and that busride was absolute hell. The entire bus reeked of alcohol breath, vommit and dirty farts and when we finally arrived there really was fuck all to do there cos no1 could stand the thought of going on a rollercoaster in the state that we were in. So basically all we did was sit on a bench all day like a bunch of zombies while sipping on some cheap lemonade our mothers had put in our backpacks.

Still the shittiest fieldtrip I've ever been on.

Kids.

To me nothing really disgusting happened as of yet, few times i found vomit stains on my hoodies in the morning when i was drunk but nothing major

noam wrote:

Rönin wrote:Have a mate who would always piss in empty ice tea bottles

you what now??

Well I drank it. Once. And I can tell you piss of someone who has been drinking beer & billing spliffs non-stop for days tastes AWFUL

vishes wrote:However, because it was the final day of the field trip, the teachers had planned something "exciting" for us and they thought it would be fun to take us to a local amusement park for the rest of the day...
It was like an hour long drive with a bus to get there and that busride was absolute hell. The entire bus reeked of alcohol breath, vommit and dirty farts and when we finally arrived there really was fuck all to do there cos no1 could stand the thought of going on a rollercoaster in the state that we were in. So basically all we did was sit on a bench all day like a bunch of zombies while sipping on some cheap lemonade our mothers had put in our backpacks.

Still the shittiest fieldtrip I've ever been on.

This is great.

Rönin wrote:

noam wrote:

Rönin wrote:Have a mate who would always piss in empty ice tea bottles

you what now??

Well I drank it. Once. And I can tell you piss of someone who has been drinking beer & billing spliffs non-stop for days tastes AWFUL

I hear the piss of someone who is straight edge tastes lovely

woke up mid sleep this morning, mouth was full of vom..
don't know why, don't know how but it was, it wasn't good.

no vom anywhere but in my mouth, so odd.

did you swallow it back down?